Puppet Master vs Hogwarts
by ninjitsu-sage47
Summary: What happens when the puppet master goes to Hogwarts? And what happens when Shino, Lee, and a certain psychotic kunoichi joins him?
1. Chapter 1

**AAARG!!!!**

**I just realized that I posted the wrong verson of my story!!! GRRRRR**

**So i decided to delete and try again**

**My first Naruto fic! Ok, I decided that since I absalutly (sp) love Kankuro, and Harry Potter, I decided to put them together! And I have difficulty finding a good hpxnaruto story with Kankuro in it sobs Though I can't garrentee (sp) that it would be good. Usually Gaara dominates everything, grrrr. D: Hmm, lets see what else...**

**voices: declaimer...**

**Ah, yes, Kankuro is about 15 years old, and-**

**voices: delaimer...**

**-still hates kids, a virtue that I happen to like, seeing as I have no great love for them either.**

**voices: You don't own Naruto...**

**oh, and I don't own Naruto**

**voices Or Harry Potter...**

Life Sucks

_I hate my life._

Kankuro thought after receiving a message from the Kazekage, his little brother. It was early in the morning, even for him, and he was up late last night, "training", or rather, participating in an activity that very much tired him out. It was one thing to have a bossy older sister, that would be expected, but to have to take orders from a younger brother? That sucked, but it was always that way, although now it was because he was the Kazekage, and not because Kankuro was afraid of him.

Sighing, he walked over to his closet and pulled out his black jumpsuit and irritably pulled it on, then he took out his jar of red war paint and applied it quicker and more effectively then anyone else who might of done it. When he was done, he pulled on his hat, his gloves, and strode out his door, swiftly taking his summoning scrolls off the counter.

It was still dark out, the desert wind blowing gently through the very much empty streets, and made feeble attempts to push back the lone black clad figure walking sullenly down it. He took a deep breath, he liked the Suna at night, so peaceful. Except if you go into a bar, then that there is a whole different story...

_Damn it Gaara, why couldn't you have called me some other time? Like after breakfast perhaps?_

Kankuro grumbled to himself, he reached up and clamped down on his hat as a powerful gust of wind tried to steal it from him.

_Two hours sleep! Have mercy! Just because you don't sleep, doesn't mean everyone else doesn't either..._

At last he reached the Kazekage's place, Kankuro just stood there and stared at the building for a few minutes. A light was on in one of the top windows, all others were out. The light was his dear little brother's room...

At last deciding he couldn't put it off any longer, he walked inside, making sure to track sand onto the front mat and down the hall, even making it as far as the stairs. Kankuro doubted that this would bother Gaara, but he was in a bad mood.

Climbing the stairs, he made his way slowly down the hall towards the Kazekage's room, pausing a heartbeat, before knocking.

"Enter"

Kankuro pushed open the door and stepped into a dimly lit room, the only light source was the lamp on the desk, which was where the red headed teen was sitting.

"You sent for me Gaara?" Kankuro asked, half hoping it was a mistake, and that he could go right home and pass out on his bed.

"Yes"

_Damn_

"Why?" Kankuro asked, his mood clearly evident in his voice. If Gaara had eyebrows, he would have raised them, instead he continued on with a cool note in his voice.

"I have a mission for you" He said, his cold blue eyes surveying his older brother. Gaara could clearly read a "No duh" look on Kankuro's face behind his war paint. Obviously he wasn't in the best of moods. Kankuro was pretty good at getting out of bed, at any time. Though he does seem to make an exception for three thirty in the morning...

_I'm being sent to protect some punk ass kid, Great._

Kankuro had a large backpack slung over his back, inside was a change in clothes, several jars of war paint, and an assortment of other items.

_Wizards? A magic castle? FAR FAR AWAY??? Who the hell is this Harry Potter person? Why should we get involved in affairs that are not our own? _

Kankuro's bad mood had deepened, and was now willing to complain about anything. Temari stopped by and told him to stop whining, lectured him on behaving seeing as he was representing the Sand Village. She went on about good edict, polite behavior, until it got to the point when Kankuro could see her lips moving, but the words they formed didn't make it all the way to his brain.

Finally she stopped, "And be careful". Then, at last, it was over. He nodded and walked out of his house, Temari walking silently beside him.

_What makes this guy so important that they would hire shinobi from over a thousand miles away to protect him? "It will all be explained upon arrival" Bullshit!_

It occurred to Kankuro that he didn't even know how he was going to get there, how was he going to travel thousands of miles in one weeks time?

His question was answered as soon as he entered the Kazekage's office. Gaara had an old tin can sitting on his desk. After a lengthy explanation from Gaara, he found out that it was an item called a _portkey_, and it would immediately transport him to were he wanted to go.

Kankuro was impressed, but a little doubtful. He just couldn't see how can this little piece of junk carry him halfway across the world.

_When I get there, I am to talk to some old Geezer that goes by the name "Albus Dumbledore" he will be the one to explain this all to me. As if Gaara couldn't explain it all to me now..._

"Here are your instructions for when you get there," Gaara said, handing him a small scroll. Kankuro took it and pulled it open. Reading, Kankuro found out that he was going to a place called "The Leaky Cauldron" before going to his destination. And the place he was going to was a school...

Wait...

School...?

"Hogwarts is a school?" Kankuro asked, surprised, and not pleasantly. The sand-nin regarded him for a few moments with his cool blue eyes before saying "Yes, Temari and I thought that this would help your general attitude towards... younger people"

_So Temari was in on this? Bitch._

"You can hardly lecture me on treatment of other people Gaara!" The puppet master said hotly. His younger sib narrowed his eyes, but didn't say anything. Kankuro then began to get nervous, he decided that it was probably time to go.

He walked up to the tin can, "How do I work this Gaara?" He asked dully, now thinking of how his year was going to be. Oh the endless joy he will have...

"Simply put your hand on it, and wait" Gaara said, to Kankuro's annoyance, like it was the most obvious thing in the world. Reaching towards it, he placed a couple of fingers on it and waited. A few minutes later, Kankuro, now feeling very stupid, was just about to tell Gaara off, (something he would never have done before) when he felt it. A hard jerk behind his belly button and his feet leaving the ground. After that, it was all a huge blur of color, and roaring wind. Kankuro kept wondering if his hat was going to fly off.

WHAM

His feet slammed into the ground, only because of his training did he manage to stay on his feet. Once he pulled himself together, he looked around. He appeared to be in an alley. The puppet master then decided to look at the scroll Gaara gave him in greater detail.

He studied the first part carefully, then stuffed it into his pocket. So, the Leaky Cauldren (what kind of name was that?) was right around the corner. He travelled quickly down the alley, and peeked around the corner. There were still a few people out and about, not many though, it was still early in the morning.

Kankuro realized that he was now standing right beside the door he was suppose to go in. Looking quickly around, he grabbed the handle and entered.

_I thought Gaara said this place was famous..._

It was very shabby, at least a lot shabbier then any of the places that the sand-nin was used to going. He stood there akwardly for a few moments, causing him to be stared at by a few of the people that were there. Though it probably had more to do with his face paint and general outfit, his cat hat.

"Is yer name Kankeru?" A deep voice boomed from Kankuro's right, he jumped slightly and turned sharply to face the owner of the voice.

_Holy Fuck! When I read that this guy was big, I didn't think he'd be HUGE!_

The man towered over Kankuro, making him feel like a small child. The puppet master decided that he didn't like this giant man very much.

"It's Kankuro" He said, annoyed, he never met someone who could murder his name so well. "Are you Higrad?"

_Might as well return the favor..._

"It's Hagrid, Rubeus Hagrid, please teh meet yeh"

_The pleasures all yours_

"I am Kankuro, of the Village hidden in the sand, I have a mission regarding the safety of one known as Harry Potter" Kankuro said in flawless english.

_Damn, I don't think Temari could have done it better._

"Oh, and pleased teh meet yeh too" Kankuro added innocently. Hagrid gave him a suspicious look, but made no inquiry. "Yeh be stayin' at this Inn fer a while," He said "One week at least".

Kankuro gave him a confused look, his dark green eyes then flickered to and fro through the pub. "Why? I don't understand this part of my instructions, why do I have to stay here for a week? Why can't I just go to Hogwarts?"

Hagrid sighed, "The person you be guardn' won't be there fer a whole week, that's when school starts yeh see, an' Dumbledore wants you to get familiar with the wizarding world before yeh go"

"Ah, so I suppose teh stay here, my instructions say somethin' 'bout gettin' school supplies, seeing as I be goin' ter this school for a whole year" Kankuro was very pleased with his impersonation, though he wasn't sure if the giant oaf realized he was being impersonated.

"Yes, I'll be the one helpin' yeh in purchasing your supplies" The big man said, looking at Kankuro with a small frown on his face, at least, Kankuro assumed it was a frown, it was hard to tell with all that beard in his face.

"An' when yer done this week, you'll be goin' to the train station to ride with all the other students attending the school."

_All the other...?_

"So tell me, so what ages does Hogwarts take?" Kankuro asked, hoping against hope that his prayers would be answered.

"ages eleven to seventeen, firs' year to seventh, you'll be in fifth year as far as I can tell"

"eleven to seventeen..."

That meant that there were probably several hundred students that were younger then him... Several hundred KIDS.

_FUCK!!!_

**Kankuro seems to be very bitchy in this chapter, then again, who wouldn't under those circimstances? I'm still not sure whether or not I should add some Konoha ninja, maybe I should, can't have Kankuro have the whole story... or maybe I can... Suggestions are welcome, in fact I encourage them. **

**And this is the first story in my fanfiction career that I don't have any OC's!!! dances around**

**Anyway, please review. Flame if you like, I've trained myself to be impervious to such things**


	2. Early Risers

**Okay, another chapter written. Lee and Shino are going to Hogwarts to!!! This is because I didn't think that there were to many were Lee went, and was a centeral character. Shino I sent because of a request from my very first reviewer. I decided on Lee because I thought that his personality was so different from both Kankuro's and Shino's that it would make things interesting.**

**And anyway, I don't own Naruto or Harry Potter.**

Early Morning Risers

"You are to go to Hogwarts for the protection of a boy named Harry Potter"

That was what the Hokage said, Shino nodded and left after hearing what details the Sannin could give him. It wasn't all, unfortunately, according to her, an old man named "Dumbledore" was to fill him in on the details in a weeks time. That was the time he was to meet him. Shino had an hour and a half to pack, for a whole 9 months, which was a whole school year for Hogwarts. The very idea of a school for witches and wizards Shino found vaguely interesting. It should be good experience.

_Though I still can't help but wonder why I was woken at 3:30 in the morning to be given this mission._

Shino moved swiftly, getting home, and packing his clothes and a couple extra pairs of glasses, just in case. After quickly answering a few question from his bleary-eyed father, he left, with a large bag slung over his back.

Much of what Hokage-sama said didn't fit together, why was he going alone? Wouldn't it be more effective if Hinata with her byakugan, and Kiba with his sharp sense of smell, as well as Akamaru? Shino sighed, his brown hair ruffling slightly in the breeze. Sometimes he enjoyed walking down the streets at night, though it wasn't often he would do so so early in the morning. He wondered still wondered what that was about.

His footsteps, to him, seemed to be the only sound in the night.

_Scrap, crunch, scrap crunch_

A stronger wind blew this time, causing the trees to rustle, it was chilly enough to make anyone else shiver. Shino, however, didn't have that problem. Bless his Aburame bugs.

At last he got to the Hokage tower, and not a minute to spare. The bug-nin entered silently and climbed the stairs, when he entered the Hokage's office, he was surprised to see someone there, someone who was also packed and ready.

"Shino! I would never have guessed that you were my partner! How youthful! We are to go far away to a castle in a magical land! How inspiring! How magnificent! How poetic!" Shino blinked, though it couldn't be seen behind his glasses, at the slightly older, green jumpsuit clad boy who stood proudly in front of him. Of all the unexpected things to happen...

"Rock Lee is your partner on this mission," The Hokage said, not really looking up as she wrote something down on two scrolls, judging by the fact that the movements of her brush was the same on both scrolls, she was writing the same thing on both scrolls. Shino nodded, as though the appearance of the overenthusiastic green clad ninja was no surprise. Even though it was.

"And I will not fail you Lady Hokage!" Lee cried, saluting her with a determined look on his face. "I will die before any harm comes to this Harry Potter! This Albus Dumbledore will not regret hiring us!"

"Brave words, Lee. So youthful!" A voice suddenly boomed out from behind Shino, he didn't jump, but he turned his head slightly so that he could see out of the corner of his eye. It was Lee's sensei, Gai-sama, also green clad and every bit as enthusiastic as his student. Annoyingly so actually. Gai walked forwards, towards Lee with a watery look in his eyes. "Ah! It aches my heart so! That you would be going so far away! That is not Youthful at all! Especially since I will not be going with you!"

Lee looked devastated "What? But Gai-sensei! You _must_ come! How am I suppose to test myself and get stronger if someone as strong and worthy as you is not around? What will I do without your wisdom? And I'll be gone for such a long time!" Tears began to fall from Lee's eyes as he looked at his sensei with his large, slightly buggy, eyes. Gai sniffed, tears beginning to fall from his eyes as well, "Stay youthful Lee! Yes, we will be apart, but that is part of being a shinobi! Sacrifices! Learning to cope! Consider your time away as training! If you can do this, then you are on your way to becoming the truest of shinobi! I must admit, it will not be the same doing 500 laps around Konoha without you by my side!" Tears were now streaming shamelessly down the Jonin's face.

"When I go to this Hogwarts, I'll do all my 500 laps, and I will think of you Gai-sensei! I will be youthful and work harder then I have ever done before! When I get back, I will test my skills against you, to see how much stronger am!" The tears were now fast flowing. He raised his hand and clenched it into a fist, "I shall miss you Gai-sensei!" He wailed raising a arm to attempt to stem the river that was pouring from his eyes. Gai sensei did the same, but without success, "I shall miss you to Lee!" He cried sniffing loudly, his whole body shaking emotionally. They looked at each other, for a moment, then:

"LEE!"

"GAI-SENSEI!"

"LEE!"

"GAI-SENSEI!"

"LEE"

"GAI-SENSEI!"

"LEE!"

"GAI-SENSEI!"

They were hugging now, and sobbing uncontrollably. Gai pulled back a little bit and held a crying Lee at arms length, "Lee, you know what would be youthful?" He asked, with a watery smile, "No, Gai-sensei, what?" Lee asked, gulping a little, "Dawn and Dusk! Sunset and Sunrise! Every morning you go out and look at the sunrise, and every evening, you will go out and watch the sunset. I will do the same, what do you think of that Lee?"

Lee let out a heartfelt sob, "That is so beautiful Gai-sensei! So Youthful! Yes, I will do just that! So I can count each day that I am without you Gai-sensei! I will not fail you! If I were to miss just one sunrise or sunset, I shall, give myself 900 laps and 3000 pushups!" Gai backed away and gave a blinding white smile, as well as a thumbs up, "Excellent Lee, I believe you! You are so youthful! Just don't lose that while your away! For nine months..." Gai's voice trailed off, he looked pained, he was just about to go on when the Hokage decided to interrupt him.

"Listen," she said, Shino was glad she interrupted, he wasn't sure how much more he could take. Though it was a little touching, it was more then a little annoying. A shinobi should not show this much emotion.

"I'm sorry you can't go with Lee, Gai, but you are needed here," she spoke with a slightly annoyed tone in her voice. Obviously, Hokage-sama didn't think anymore of the extremely watery show anymore then he did. "Your already later then you should be-" Gai cut her off, something that shouldn't usually be done.

"Lee! Did you here that? You held up on your mission! That deserves a punishment!" Lee nodded and saluted, "Yes Gai-sensei! What do you suggest?" Gai looked sternly at his student, before continuing, "I think about a 100 laps around Konoha will suffice!" The younger green clad ninja shook his head, "No Gai-sensei! This is an important, A-rank mission! And if I delayed it, I think I deserve 200 laps!" The sannin sighed, and put her face in her palms. Shizune (who had been quietly standing in the corner of the room) was slightly teary eyed after this outrageous display of emotion.

"I think it's time for Shino-san and Lee-san to get going. And he can do his laps when he get there!" Tsunade-sama was quick to add when Gai showed signs of interrupting, again. "They have, about two minutes to prepare, before they have to leave!" Gai looked surprised. "What youthful ways are they getting there anyhow?" He asked, paying attention for the first time to the old leather shoe the Hokage had sitting on her desk.

"It's not... youthful... at all," She said, with a sigh, "It's magic, but I don't have time to explain it. Shino, Lee, grab your stuff, and gather around this portkey," The Hokage said, indication the shoe in front of her. When the two young chunnin gathered around it with their belongings, she spoke, though swiftly.

"All you need is to put a finger on this," She indicated towards the shoe "and it will take you to where you need to go. Here." She gave them both a scroll, "These are your instructions for when you get to your destination. Your first destination you'll be there for a week, your next destination and how you will get there are described as well. Now hurry!"

Lee put his finger on the old shoe (how unyouthful). As the Hokage promised, they didn't have long to wait. About forty seconds after touching the shoe, Lee felt a jerk as the shoe suddenly rose upwards with alarming speed. Before the roaring winds took him, he heard a "FAREWELL LEE!" from his beloved sensei. Lee would have said something back, but he was gone.

The world was a blur of colors, the countless countries, lakes, mountains, cities, they passed, it made Lee sad that he was completely missing the beauty of it. But he was more then a little excited about the adventure that lay ahead of them. A few more moments of roaring winds, and he and the bug-nin slammed into the ground in an dark and very wet alley. Also unyouthful.

He, being a taijutsu expert, barely stumbled as his feet hit the ground, he automatically balanced himself out, though he had to stop for a moment, it seemed like his breath was lost somewhere back in one of the countries they passed. As soon as it caught up to him, he looked over at Shino, who was now examining his scroll. Lee took out his scroll, but looked around first.

It was not beautiful, the alley they stood in was cold and grey, the air was thick with pollutants, and the loud sounds of cars he heard from a distance. Immediately, Lee longed for Konoha, with it's green grass, tall trees, and beautiful mountains. Not to mention his idol, his Gai-sensei, who was not here. The black haired taijutsu master suddenly felt the urge to weep, but he didn't.

_Gai-sensei told me to be strong, and I will!_

Lee clenched his fist in front of him again

_I will be strong! When I get back, I'll have lots of new experiences to tell Gai-sensei!_

After giving a determined nod to no one in particular, he opened his scroll and began to read, but at this point Shino had already finished his and was beginning to walk down the alley. Lee quickly followed the younger ninja while reading his scroll at the same time.

_The Leaky Cauldron? Why is everything in this "London" So unyouthful?_

The green clad ninja sadly shook his head, and continued to follow the bug-nin. They entered the pub without much trouble, and found themselves in a rather unyouthful place. It was gloomy and a little shabby. Lee glanced at Shino to see what he thought of this sad, sad place. Shino's face, however, was half covered by his jacket, and he had dark glasses that hid his eyes. So it was very hard to figure out what he thought.

There weren't that many people here, being as early as it was. Of course, Lee had been out training when the message came to him that he was to appear before Lady Hokage. He had fallen asleep, had five hours rest, before heading out again to train. And he was in the middle of his 200 sit ups when he had to leave.

_I still have 137 more sit ups to go! I must remember to do so when I get the chance. and I still haven't done my morning 500 laps! I must remember to that as well._

One of the people that were in here had been dozing off against the wall, and when he heard the door close, he jerked awake and stood up. The man was huge, and had a rather alarming beard. Lee watched him with wide eyes, (wider the usual) and tensed slightly as he walked towards them. "Hey there! Are you Rock Lee, an' Aburame Shino?" He asked in a deep gruff voice.

"Hai!" Lee said before the bug-nin could answer, "Watakushi-wa Rock Lee, desu! And I am here to help protect this Harry Potter! Under no circumstances will I allow anything to happen to him! By the power of youth! I will willingly give my life for the success of this mission!" Lee declared, saluting the giant.

The giant didn't seem to know how to respond at first, "Well... er... hi to you too," he said uncertainly. Lee was confused. Then he remembered that "Hai" probably meant something different in English, and this man probably didn't speak Japanese.

Shino decided to take it from here, "My name is Aburame Shino," He said in clear English, Lee mentally kicked himself, he forgot. "This is here is Rock Lee, we have come from Konoha, the village hidden in the Leaves, to protect Harry Potter."

The man looked relived, obviously glad that Shino had decided to speak his language. "And I am Hagrid, Rubeus Hagrid," He then pointed up the stairs, "Your ninja friend is already here," he said scowling slightly, "Not a very polite bloke, weird looking too."

Lee and Shino glanced at each other in confusion. Ninja friend? No one mentioned any comrades on this mission. Both of them wondered who this ninja could be.

"Can you describe this ninja to us?" Shino asked in a perfectly calm tone. Hagrid looked momentarily taken aback by this request, but he nodded, "Lets see... I didn't exactly get th' feelin' that he was a nice kid, I think he might have been makin' fun of me at one poin' or 'nother... he wore a black suit, with a hat with cat ears on it, and had red makeup all over his face..."

Lee didn't have to hear much more then that to figure out who it was.

_Kankuro? Gaara's brother? What is he doing here?_

Kankuro sighed and leaned back on his bed. Now at last he could sleep. He was about to rub the paint from his face when he heard a knock on his door. The puppet master glared at the door, daring the person to knock again. The did.

_Who the fuck wants me now? It better not be that oaf "Hagrid"_

Grumbling, he got off his bed and walked slowly over to his door. He opened it to find the last two people he expected to see here of all places. For a moment he stared at the two, they were both shorter then him. And they stared back.

"What the FUCK are _you_ doing here?!"

"-And you see, that's why I need you here to teach my students," Dumbldore finished, looking at the purple haired women standing in front of him. "I fear slightly that they are getting out of shape, so I asked the Ministry for approval to have a physical education class, and I thought that you would be the best for the job."

The kunoichi nodded and pulled out a Kunai out of her trench coat and began to play with it. "You don't need to worry about a thing Dumby, when I'm done with those maggots, they will be sore in places they never knew they had. I'll either make them, or break them. It'll be interesting to do either."

**I never realized how much fun Gai and Lee were to write, lol. I hope I potrayed everyone well, that was my main worry, that was why I hesitated in this chapter. Of course the only swearing in this chapter was done by Kankuro, who I absalutly love! But I refuse to godmode him. **

**Oh, and even though Shino, Lee, and the kunoichi, (I'm sure you know who it is) are in the story, Kankuro will be my main central character. After all, the title is ****Puppet Master vs Hogwarts**

**Kankuro: YES!**

**Shino:...**

**Lee: hangs head**

**kunoichi: handles kunai threateningly**

**And as for the kunoichi, I decided that to show how much I appreciated Hogwarts students, Kankuro, Shino, And Lee by getting them tortur- uh, taught by said lady ninja. Pray for the Students of Hogwarts.**


	3. Shinobi in Diagon Alley

**Yay! My new chappie posted Nothing more then talking in this chapter. And I must apologize if the characters are a little too... agreeable... with one another Oo But like it or not, they're a team for a whole six months. I know I made some mistakes in my earlier chapters. For example, this fic takes place in the fifth book, so Hagrid should be in France or someplace XX and Kankuro had PURPLE facepaint XX and at fifteen, he carried two puppets on his back and didn't have his summoning scrolls at the time XX**

**Oh well, you didn't see anything Pulls out men-in-black flashy thing SAY GOODBYE TO YOUR MEMORIES!**

**Declaimer:**

**Kankuro: Ninjitsu-sage47 promised that if I said that she was the owner of Naruto, I would have a bigger part, so-**

**Lee: No Kankuro! You cannot! She does not own Naruto OR Harry Potter (who we still don't know that much about)**

**Kankuro: But-**

**Shino: In case you haven't noticed Kankuro, I don't always get large amounts of screentime either! You don't see me bitching about it.**

**Kankuro: But you do! See pulls out diary Dear diary, sometimes I wonder why I am less popular then both my team mates**** that must be why I get less screen time then both of them-**

**Shino: Where did you get that?!**

**Kankuro: One of your traitorous fans gave it to me.**

**Shino: WHAT KIND OF FAN WOULD DO SUCH A THING?!**

Shinobi in Diagon Alley

Kankuro stared in shock at the two figures standing in his doorway.

"What the fuck are you doing here?" He asked again, glowering at them. They looked at each other and back again at him before the one in glasses decided to reply "Apparently we are you... partners... for this mission," He said in a completely even voice. Kankuro scowled, "I was under the impression that _I _was the only one going on this mission! Gaara didn't mention anyone else."

Shino gave a tiny shrug, "I wasn't told about you either, though I don't understand why it is you of all people" Kankuro raised an eyebrow, "What? Not happy to see me?" He asked with a grin, "_I'm_ glad your here, after all, we have a score to settle don't we?"

_To think I tied with THIS creep_

He then turned to the green jumpsuit wearing ninja. "And what are you doing here?"

_I know him from somewhere... hmmm... jumpsuit... eyebrows... AH right... Gaara's boyfriend... Rock Somebody?_

"I came because the Hokage wishes it," The boy said simply, saluting him dramatically, "And by the power of youth I will not fail! After a-" Kankuro raised a hand, "I don't give a shit," He interrupted, he turned again to Shino, "So your mission is to protect Harry Potter as well?" he asked, deciding that it would probably be best to make sure. Shino nodded.

Kankuro stepped back, inviting them in. They moved in cautiously, as though expecting a kunai to fly at them. Kankuro snickered slightly at this. Mostly because if they had tried to enter without his permission, there really _would_ be a kunai flying out at them. Never hurt to be a little cautious.

"So what do we know about this Harry Potter?" He asked, closing his door with a bang. "Gaara, I mean the _Kazekage_, didn't say anything about him, how about the your Hokage?" The boy whose name Kankuro couldn't remember spoke, "We know nothing, we were told everything would be explained when we get to Hogwarts." He said with a firm nod, "And that Harry Potter will not be there until a week from now." Shino nodded to confirm this.

"That's basically what I was told," Kankuro said, "I had to be here in this dingy old place so that I could get used to the 'Wizarding World.' Whatever the hell that means." He grinned suddenly, "By the way, did you get a look at the vampire on the way in? I didn't believe the guy when he told me she was a vampire, then she hissed at me and tried to bite my neck." He laughed as though the very idea of having your neck gouged open and having your blood drunk was hilarious. "I now know never to provoke the undead."

"As interesting as that story is, I believe we are a little off topic," Shino said simply, looking up at the older ninja. Kankuro was miffed that he didn't find his story funny, but decided to be a little serious. For the moment anyway.

The three of them spent the next hour and a half (during which Kankuro finally learned the bushy browed kid's name. Rock Lee) comparing notes, and making plans about the safety of their charge. One of the problems were that they knew next to nothing on the layout of the castle grounds, nor did they no anything about the school in general.

Kankuro slammed his fist into the bedside table in frustration, "So we know _nothing_ about the fucking castle, we know _nothing_ about our fucking charge, and we know _nothing _about the person who fucking hired us?!" He growled, hitting the table again, causing it to crack a little. Most furniture weren't made to withstand shinobi fury.

"Must you use such foul language?" Lee (who had winced each time the puppeteer swore) asked. Kankuro gave him a look that answered his question.

_Hell the fuck no_

"It looks like we're going to have to wait the week out," Shino said calmly, though inwardly he too pissed off. "Although..." He started, then fell into a thoughtful silence. Kankuro and Lee exchanged glances before Lee spoke, "Although what Shino?" He asked, nudging him slightly. Shino looked up at him for a moment, then continued. "Although, we could spend this week gathering information."

"Gathering information? Oh, I get it," Kankuro said, "If this Harry Potter character is important enough to need shinobi bodyguards, then-"

"-He would be important enough for the newspapers" Lee finished grinning. "It shouldn't be hard to find newspaper, I believe it's everywhere." Shino nodded, "And we need to talk to people, I wonder how well known he is? I also wonder if he's worth the effort" Kankuro shrugged, "I dunno, but with the amount I'm being paid to be here, if the kid wants to be carried from one class to another, I'm willing. I'm being paid by the month"

Shino raised his eyebrow at this out-of-character behavior, Kankuro was not the type to submit so easily. "How much?" He asked, wondering what amount would be enough to make the sand ninja so... not stubborn.

When he told them, Lee leapt out of his seat in fury. "We are not being paid nearly as much! What makes YOU so valuable?" Kankuro shrugged and grinned, "Being the Kazekage's brother does have some benefits," He said smugly.

Shino knew that Lee was not upset because of the money, he was not a greedy person, but upset that this Dumbledore character put more money into the sand ninja then he did him. Then again, the Kazekage was probably not happy about sending his brother halfway across the world and needed persuading...

Shino wasn't bothered one way or another.

Before any of them could continue, there was a tapping sound on the window pane.

_Tap tap tap_

Kankuro got up, confused, and walked over and undid the latch. The window opened outwards, and as soon as it was wide enough, three brown owls flew into the room. Much to the shock of it's inhabitants.

"WHAT THE FUCK?" Kankuro roared jumping away from the owls that invited themselves on his bed. "Calm down Kankuro, they are obviously messenger birds," Lee said, pointing at their legs, "See, look, they are all carrying something." Shino looked and saw that he was right. Each owl had an envelope with their names on it, written in English.

Shino moved forwards and took his envelope, Lee and Kankuro followed. As soon as they removed the letters, the owls ruffled importantly and flew off.

Lee opened his envelope and found a piece of parchment with words written in green ink. It turned out to be a letter from Hogwarts, which was a school that, apparently, they were to attend. Lee looked at the other piece of parchment behind it, it was a list of objects they needed in order to attend the school.

_Cauldron... wand... potions supply... robes..._

"I am guessing that is why we are here in the Leaky Cauldron," Lee said to the two ninjas, "Diagon alley is just on the other side of this building, That is where we are to get our supplies" Kankuro finished reading his letter and threw it on his bed, "With what? All I have is Suna currency, and it's not like they accept it here..." Shino had finished re-reading his letter for the third time, "Yes, but I think that we might be able to exchange our currency for wizarding money," he said vaguely, "But we should do that in the morning, or afternoon, I still wonder why the Hokage got us up at such a indecent time." Kankuro and Lee gave nods of agreement.

The three of them met up near the door that led to Diagon Alley the next afternoon, when they were well rested. There were far more people here then before, and more then one gave the trio odd looks. Kankuro had his puppeteer outfit on, as well as his warpaint and his puppets on his back. Shino had his glasses, jacket, and the occasional bug skittering around his face. Lee had his jumpsuit, his bandages, and an enormous smile that matched his enthusiasm.

_Jeez, no wonder people are staring_

Kankuro watched as Lee spaz out about something, (had to do with a promise he made to his sensei or whatever) and didn't notice that most people stared (and tried to avoid) Kankuro himself.

The bartender came over and after a few explanations, he led them through the back door to a very small courtyard. He then pulled out his wand and (to Shino's fascination) Tapped a certain brick on the wall, causing it to wiggle, then the one next to it... then all the others... they shifted until they became a large archway leading into...

Kankuro actually stopped, absolutely stunned by what he saw.

_I was in the alley just beside the pub, how...?_

There were many small shops crammed into a long street, so many, that Kankuro marveled that these "Muggles" (Kankuro heard one of the nearby wizards mention it, after a few minutes, Kankuro gathered that it meant normal people without powers. Did the three of them count as muggles?) hadn't found them yet.

"Thanks for the help," He drawled in English, "How do we get back?" For some reason, the barkeeper looked uneasy, "Um, well, you just have to walk up to the door and it will let you through," He turned and hurriedly walked through the archway. Kankuro grunted, "What was that about?" He asked the two leaf ninja's in Japanese. Shino shrugged, Lee however answered, "Maybe because in English you sound... sinister, like... a bad guy," He shuffled sheepishly and glanced at Shino, who nodded.

Kankuro wasn't sure how to respond to that, so he shifted the course of the conversation, "Where did you two learn western tongue?" He asked in his native language. "Gai-sensei taught me, he knows everything!" Lee said with a big grin. "My dad taught me, he has been this way before," Shino said quietly, "What about you?" Kankuro sighed, "My father taught the three of us, where and how he knew I never found out."

The three of them walked side-by-side down the street, two of them had their hands stuffed in their pockets. There were so many shops and each one was so fascinating, that even Shino was rotating his head side to side, trying to take it all in. Eventually, he called them to a stop and pointed out a place where he felt sure that they could exchange their money. It was a big white building with a very short individual standing in front of their doors.

Kankuro, however, had to make things difficult, "Who made you the boss?" He growled, looking at him with a scowl, "I don't take orders from little bug freaks like you" Shino had been faced with these types of insults before and they hardly stung now, "I wasn't trying to be the 'boss'" Shino said calmly, "I was just pointing out that that building seems to be the best place to exchange our money,"

"HA, what makes you think that?" Kankuro asked with a sneer. Shino pointed, "It says 'Gringottes Bank'" He said. The sand nin glanced at the sign, then looked back at Shino with a slightly sheepish expression, "Well, what are we waiting around here for? Lets go!" He turned and and strutted towards the building, Shino and Lee trailing him.

_Foot in mouth..._

"Who knew _shopping_ would be so tiring?" Kankuro gasped as he sat down on a bench, all his purchases on a trolley beside him. Lee followed him, also tired, "Who knew _shopping_ would be so dangerous?" He said, remembering the crazed look of one women who tried to tackle him when he bought the last book on the rack, luckily the manager came in and told the lady that there were many others in the back room. Good thing to, Lee wasn't sure how much more he could take before he was forced to respond.

Shino also sank down, he had to admit, three whole hours _was_ very troublesome. "What do we have left? He asked, looking at his list, "I believe we have everything," Lee shook his head, "No, we must get our wands remember!" He leapt up, suddenly full of energy, "I believe that wands are the gateway to accessing our magic, we must hurry my youthful companions!" The energetic nin grabbed his trolley and began to push it down the street towards the wand shop. The only one in Diagon Alley Shino noted.

Kankuro sighed and got up, "Ugh, I can't wait for this to be over," Shino had to admit, he couldn't either.

**Heehee, They're a little TOO nice to each other aren't they? I'll have to do something about that. **

**Has Sasuke, Naruto, and Sakura tied up If you don't want anything to happen to team seven, then you people review points flashy thing threateningly in their direction **


	4. Wands and other things

**Alright, another chapter! Yay! I just wanna say thank you to those people that reviewed. And this chapter is devoted on information, how the shinobi gather it, and such. Though part of that chapter is devoted to them getting their wands.**

**Declaimer: I don't own Naruto or Harry Potter**

Evidence of a plot

_Ollivanders: Makers of Fine Wands since 382 BC_ Kankuro read before he entered. It looked sort of like a library, except it had many long, narrow boxes instead of books and scrolls.

"Hello?" Lee called, moving cautiously forward. Shino and Kankuro moved in side to side equally cautious. Something about this place made them both uneasy. Aside from dust, the air seemed to be thick with... something else. Magic perhaps? Very likely.

"Welcome"

The old man that spoke managed to duck as three kunais were thrown in his direction. Each hitting the space where his head had previously been. Kankuro had to give him credit, for a non-shinobi he was pretty quick. Or maybe he was just lucky.

There was an awkward silence in the room as the old man straightened up. "Forgive us," Shino said, "It doesn't pay to surprise a ninja."

_Damn right, a second slower and we would be probably be charged for murder by your community. Gaara wouldn't be happy about that._

The old man nodded, though strangely enough, he didn't look as though he was in any way shaken by the ordeal. It was almost like he had expected it. The hyper kid walked forwards and bowed apologetically, then went to retrieve the kunai that were lodged in the wall behind the (obviously) owner of the shop.

"It has been a while since I have had a shinobi buy a wand from me," He said in a creepy calm voice. None of them said anything for a moment. "You've had a shinobi buy a wand from you before?" Shino asked, curiosity evident in his voice.

"Yes, long ago" The wand maker said, before turning towards the many shelves and (to Kankuro) randomly selected a box. "Who's first?" He asked, without turning around. The three ninja exchanged glances and Lee stepped forwards.

"I am sir." He said, standing attention.

"Very well, what is your wand arm?" Lee blinked, "Uh, I'm ambidextrous," he said hesitantly. Kankuro saw the old mans back stiffen slightly, "Well, then we'll have to take very careful measurements then." Kankuro wondered what he meant by this. His unspoken question was answered when Ollivander (Kankuro was assuming that this was his name) pulled out a long white tap measure. He then used it to measure the length of Lee's left arm, right arm, all fingers, left leg, right leg, the area between the shoulder blades, his chest, from both elbows to the floor, both shoulders to the floor, the length of his neck, the area between his eyes...

Kankuro wondered what kind of information the old man was getting from this. About halfway through the procedure, the three of them realized that the wand maker was no longer actually holding the tape. It was doing this all on its on.

The old man was now giving them a speech that sounded like it was very well practiced; "Every Ollivander wand has a core of a powerful magical substance. We use unicorn hairs, phoenix tail feathers, and the heartstrings of dragons. No two Ollivander wands are the same, just like no two unicorns, dragons, or phoenixes are quite the same. And of course you will never get such good results with another wizards wand."

The three of them were silent throughout this entire explanation. When he finished, Kankuro spoke up; "So... how many dragons have you killed to get their heartstrings? Hair and tail feathers you can get without hurting the beast, but you obviously can't get heartstrings from the dragon if it's alive. And when they are dead, do you cut them open, steal their heart, then leave the rest to rot or what?"

There was another silence, Shino and Lee watched the wand maker expectantly. Ollivander actually looked flustered, "Don't underestimate us wizards," he said in a mysterious voice, "We can do things that you have only ever dreamed of."

"I've never dreamed of cutting heartstrings out of dragons"

"Master Lee," Ollivander said loudly, now deciding to ignore the sand nin, "Try this one, Ash and, ahem, dragon heartstring, ten inches," Kankuro watched the old man shove the wand in the startled ninja's hand. He wondered how the wand maker knew Lee's name, there hadn't been any introductions.

Lee held the wand awkwardly in his bandaged hand, "Well, give it a wave," the old man said impatiently, Lee held it out and waved it around, nearly poking out the wand maker's eye while he was at it. It was immediately snatched back, "Hmmm, no good, how about Ebony and unicorn hair, twelve inches?"

After the seventh wand Lee tried, the old man suddenly realized that there were bugs all over his shop, "Where did all these come from?" He asked, pointing his wand at a cluster and made them disappear. Shino shifted angrily, "Those are my bugs, they are very much attracted to you wand for some strange reason," the bug nin held out his hands and called all his bugs back. Minus the ones that the wand maker vanished.

Kankuro wondered how much longer the old man would tolerate their presence.

After the fourteenth try, the wand Lee had in his hand suddenly started to shoot out red and gold sparks. "Ah, so Ebony and phoenix feather, nine inches it is" Olllivander said happily, snatching the wand out of the green beast's hand and placing it in its box, "That'll be seven galleons" he announced, handing the package back to Lee.

After he paid, it was Shino's turn. "I am ambidextrous also," he said in his toneless voice, adjusting his glasses. Again the measuring tape began to measure on its own. "What is the point of the measuring?" Lee asked, "You do not seem to take into any account what the measurements are, do you just do it for show?" The wand maker seemed flustered.

"Again, you shouldn't underestimate us wizards," he said mysteriously, causing Kankuro to roll his eyes.

It only took nine tries with Shino, holly and unicorn hair ten inches.

Next up was Kankuro. "Ambidextrous" he said. Though it wasn't really true, Kankuro could use both hands just fine, but he preferred to write with his right hand. For some reason, he suspected the same from Shino. Ah well, the look of annoyance he got from the wand maker was more then a little amusing.

Remembering the look of discomfort and annoyance the other two had on their face, as soon as the tape began to measure, he used his chakra strings to fling it away. "I would appreciate it if you didn't do that," the old man said in a voice that suggested the they were testing his patience. "We've been here for a whole motherfucking hour," Kankuro growled, "I'm getting tired of this shit! Can't you hurry it up?" He flexed his long fingers.

The old man sniffed the puppeteer "Young man, I assure you, I do _not_ have to put up with this barbaric behavior, I can forcibly evict you if you become to much of a problem." He pulled out his wand. Kankuro responded by tensing up, his hand gripping the white strap across his chest. "I'd like to see you try old man," he snarled.

Shino quickly stepped in between them, "Mr. Ollivander, it is crucial that we get our wands, all of us, so can we please get this over and done with, we will then leave and you will never see us again." The wand maker reluctantly put away his wand, "Yes, but only if the irritating oaf is cooperative." Kankuro bristled but decided that it was probably best for the mission to calm down. "Fine" was all he said.

After he was carefully measured (non to gently) he then tried what must have been thirty wands before he found the right one. "Alder and dragon heartstring 13 inches," the old man said sounding relieved that he was to finally to be rid of them.

If Kankuro wasn't in a bad mood before, he certainly was now. "Fuck I'm glad it's over," he grumbled, grabbing the box out of the mans hands and throwing the gold coins at him, "Have a good day," he said sarcastically, before turning and leading the way out the door.

"You could have been a little nicer," Shino suggested as Lee ran forwards dragging his purchases along with him, leaving the two to walk beside one another. Kankuro grunted, "I'm not in the mood right now bug freak"

"There's no need to be insulting"

"I have _every_ need to be insulting"

"You are very strange"

"_I'm_ strange?!"

"Yes"

"I'm not a walking hive"

"I know"

"Not a very talkative bastard are you?"

"No"

"Hn whatever"

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

It had been a full week since their arrival. The two Leaf ninja and the Sand ninja spent most of that time gathering information on their charge. Which proved to be surprisingly easy. Halfway through the week, Kankuro went and got himself drunk and was on the verge of beating some random wizard to pulp when the two Konoha ninja arrived and quickly took him to his room to sober up. Lee got in trouble for accidently knocking three people down the stairs while he was running up to his room, and there were constant complaints about small beetles that seemed to be everywhere, but mysteriously disappeared when Tom came up to look for them.

At last, the day before they were to set off, they decided to compare notes on what they discovered on the wizard Harry Potter. Choosing Lee's room because Kankuro refused to be in Shino's room, and Shino refused to be in Kankuro's room.

"Okay," Kankuro said, pulling out a book and handing it to Shino, "These are clippings I found from Newspapers, and such." Shino nodded as he flicked through the book, "It looks like our Harry Potter is quite the adventurer," Kankuro said, "There isn't anything on his first year, but his second year apparently he solved the mystery of this 'Chamber of Secrets.' And there isn't much on his third year, but there is more then enough on his fourth year. Looks like he participated in something called 'The Triwizard Tournament' when he wasn't suppose to. And going by the clippings, Harry Potter is both sensitive and big headed."

He took the book from Lee and read out loud:

"_I suppose I get my strength from my parents, I know they'd be very proud of me if they could see me now..."_

"So our tragic hero is an orphan." Shino said, motioning Kankuro to continue on. The puppeteer flipped another page and read another page:

"_Yes sometimes at night I still cry about them, I'm not afraid to admit it..."_

"Ah the love a son has for his parents, how youthful!" Lee declared, "Though it will probably be easier for him to move on instead of crying himself to sleep..." Kankuro rolled his eyes, "This boy sounds like a complete pansy! Crying himself to sleep? Ha!" Shino nodded in agreement at Kankuro's words.

"_I know nothing will hurt me during the Tournament, because they're watching over me..."_

"Very spiritual," Lee said enthusiastically. "That is barely logical," Shino said, "And lame beyond all hell." Kankuro said bluntly. "There are other rather pointless ones, like this, I got this one from a magazine:"

"_A boy like no other, perhaps- yet a boy suffering all the usual pangs of adolescence..."_

"This Hermione Granger sounds like quite the gold digging slut," Kankuro said casually, finishing the article, "Maybe keeping her away from Potter is part of our ninja duties?" Lee laughed despite himself. "And how would we do that? They're friends apparently," the puppeteer was surprised the Shino was going along with the joke, but decided not to spoil the fun, "Hm, I have a few ways, I'm used to gold digging sluts," He caught Lee's questioning look and decided to explain, "Most of the time girls only wanna be with me because the Sabaku clan is the wealthiest in the village, and as, technically, the head of the clan, I have access to it's finances. Being the brother to the Kazekage don't hurt either."

"Ah"

"Yeah"

"So, what else?"

"What? Oh! Later on, the print is far less glamorous, listen to this:" He then read out loud the article titled 'Harry Potter Disturbed and Dangerous?'

"_The boy who defeated He Who Must Not Be Named is unstable and possibly dangerous. Alarming evidence has recently come to light about Harry Potter's strange behavior, which cast doubts upon his suitability to compete in a demanding competition like the Triwizard Tournament, or even to attend Hogwarts School."_

"That is a major turn from the first article," Shino remarked, Lee nodded.

"_Potter the Daily Prophet can exclusively reveal regularly collapses at school, and is often heard to complain of pain in the scar on his forehead...(Relic of the curse with which You-Know-Who attempted to kill him)."_

"Lets stop for a moment and discuss this 'You Know Who," Shino interrupted, "When I spoke to people, they seemed to be quite afraid of the name." Lee nodded again, "Yes, I have noticed that too, I wonder what is so terrifying about him that people are to afraid to utter his name?" Kankuro shrugged, "And somehow Harry Potter survived an attack from this guy when he was a baby, that's why he's so famous. '_The boy who lived'_"

"I have managed to get a hold of some papers from fourteen years ago," Shino said, he also pulled out a book, "I had to... borrow it... from a witch, but it had information that I needed. So anyway, fourteen or so years ago, this land was ravaged by war with this wizard that no one wants to mention. The 'Dark Lord' had an army of dark creatures and was causing misery, fear, and death throughout this country as well as others." He gave it to Kankuro who took it and began to flick through it.

"Most of the older people I've talked to seemed to have lost someone during that time," Lee said gravely, "There were people dying left and right, it sounds terrible. And I do not blame people for proclaiming Harry Potter as their hero."

"So if Harry Potter is strong enough to kill a powerful full grown wizard when he was one, why does he need our help?" Kankuro asked wearily. "It wasn't him who hired us though Kankuro," Shino reminded him, "It was Albus Dumbledore, a famous Wizard himself, who did. And remember, we are not to tell Potter that we are there to protect him."

Lee held out his own book full out of clipped articles, "This is a few articles on Hogwarts itself, it was realitivly easy to find, seeing as it is a very important part of wizard society, there is always a mention on Hogwarts. We do not have time for a complete history of Hogwarts, seeing as it is over a thousand years old, even its more recent history is vast. Though I find its Headmaster; Albus Dumbledore, to be the more interesting part, I have collected some information on him too." He held out a small pentagon shaped card to Shino, who took at and gave Lee a questioning look.

"This is called a chocolate frog card," Lee explained, "Read, you'll see."

"_Albus Dumbledore, currently Headmaster of Hogwarts. Considered by many the greatest wizard of modern times, Dumbledore is particularly famous for his defeat of the dark wizard Grindelwald in 1945, for the discovery of the twelve uses of dragon's blood and his work on alchemy with his partner Nicolas Flamel. Professor Dumbledore enjoys chamber music and tenpin bowling."_

When Shino was finished, Lee spoke up again, "Most intriguing is he not? There are many mentions of him in the papers, and everyone knows him." Kankuro sighed, "But if _he's _ so powerful, why does he need help from us shinobi? And most of all, how did he become aware of us shinobi in the first place? We don't do to many dealings with outsiders."

Shino looked at the clock, "We will continue this conversation tomorrow when we are on the train," he said, Kankuro glanced at the clock to find that it was almost three in the morning. "Damn, you're right, we have to get up early tomorrow." he said. Lee yawned, "Yes, now will the two of you please leave so I can rest?" The two stood up and wordlessly exited, both carrying their books.

Both stood awkwardly in the hallway.

"'night"

"Good Night"

"What time do we have to be there again?"

"The train leaves at eleven."

"Oh, so it gives us plenty of time,"

"Only if we are up at seven thirty, and are ready to go at eight thirty, it might take us a while to get to the station,"

"So how exactly are we getting there?"

"I've heard tell of a 'Knight Bus' that should be helpful."

"Sure talkative tonight aren't you?"

"A long discussion was inevitable."

"Uh huh..."

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

Lee was up earlier then either of the others. This was because he wanted to do what he promised to do: Watch the sunrise. Even if he was surrounded by an ugly gray city with smog clouding the skies, the sunrise never failed to be beautiful.

Though the young Green Beast would much rather be with his beloved sensei to watch it.

This wasn't the first time he had been away from Gai, it was the farthest he had ever been from home though. This place was so unfamiliar, everyone spoke that western language, so much it made his head hurt, he much preferred his much more elegant native tongue.

Lee wondered if the other two were feeling homesick. It was hard to tell, he didn't know either of them very well, they hadn't spent much of their time together, the longest times was when they had gone shopping for their supplies together. Kankuro was either causing trouble, or grumbling about something. Shino was quiet and it was very hard to tell what his moods were. Kind of like Neji, except the Hyuuga was easier of Lee to read.

The sun was now fully out, and Lee decided to head inside (he had been sitting on top of the roof next to the pub) and make sure everything was packed and ready. It was still early, and Lee wanted to have a quick walk around Diagon Alley before he had to leave. Despite the ugliness of London, he had grown to like the Alley.

He wondered down the street enjoying the peaceful silence, to early for customers. When he was about to turn around and go see if the others were awake, Lee noticed a sign on the wall that pointed to a dark passage.

_Knockturn Alley_

Lee walked slowly to the dark archway, wondering if it was wise to enter. But in the end his curiosity got the better of him. A quick look wouldn't kill him, and he was perfectly capable of handling himself if it could.

When he came out the other side, he was shocked at the difference between here and pleasant Diagon Alley. Lee walked carefully down the street, an ugly witch with mossy teeth leered at him out of a dark alleyway. Like in Diagon Alley, he looked into each shop, but unlike Diagon Alley, he didn't like what he saw: There was one window that had what appeared to be shrunken heads, another with withered human hands and feet. Even the air smelled foul, like rotten fish, eyeballs, and vegetables. Which Lee spotted in a pile in front of a shop that sold potions ingredients.

Lee was very much aware of how much he stuck out here. He in his green jumpsuit, and others in their black cloaks and shifty looks.

"Lost are you dearie?" Lee spun around to find that same witch with mossy teeth. "No ma'am," Lee said politely, "I was just looking around." She smiled, and Lee wished she hadn't. He kept his revulsion off his face, "I will be going now," He said, turning around to leave. A iron claw-like hand came down on his shoulder when he had only taken two steps, "Must you now dearie? Won't you come with me? I might have something that you would like."

_I very much doubt that._

"No thank you, I really must be going," He easily broke her grip and hurried down the alley. However the witches hand descended on him again, holding his arm with strength you wouldn't think would come from such brittle looking fingers. "Take this," She hissed, slipping something over his head. Lee broke her grip again and ran down the alley with all the speed he could muster. Which meant he reached the entrance to Diagon Alley in less then ten seconds.

When he put himself as far away from the entrance of that foul place as he could, which was his room, he finally stopped and looked at that thing the witch had hung around his neck.

It was a long silver chain, on which hung something that was beautifully made, but horrifyingly ugly. Whoever had made it made it with incredible dedication. What was frightening was the design: It was a highly detailed silver skull with a snake that looked almost real protruding out of its mouth, the skull's eyes had small red rubies, the snakes eyes had emeralds, the snake's mouth was open and looked ready to strike.

Lee hated it, and was on the verge to taking it off so he could throw it out the window when he felt suddenly dizzy. Falling back on his bed, his hand fell loose from the pendent and everything faded to blackness.

ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

The sound of his door being pounded on woke him up.

"Get up! We have to go!" Kankuro's voice shouted at him. Lee sat up, rubbing his head, he still felt dizzy, "I-I'm coming!" He shouted back, standing up, swaying slightly. "You have, like, ten minutes!" Then there was the sound of his footsteps hurrying away.

_What happened? I was up before wasn't I? Yes, I went for a final walk... then... I went into this alley..._

Lee's hand suddenly jumped to his chest where the pendent should have been. It wasn't there. It was much, much highter. Panicking, Lee ran to his mirror and saw that the necklace had shrunk. Before it was large enough to fit around his shoulders, now it wouldn't even reach his chin. The pendent had also shrunk, but was every bit as ugly as it was before.

Gripping it, he yanked it, wincing slightly as it bit into his neck. Any other piece of jewlery would have broken, but this held firm. He pulled harder, but all this succeded in doing was making a cut on the back of his neck.

Someone knocked on his door again, "Lee, we must be going I hope you have your things packed." It was Shino, "Yes, I do, I will be right there." Lee answered, his voice slightly shaky. There was a pause, "Are you alright Lee?" Lee covered the skull with his collar, it wasn't even visable, and went to the door, "I am fine, I packed my things earlier," He said to Shino when he opened it.

"Good, now bring it down to the pub, Tom is going to summon the Knight Bus for us."

"Will do."

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

Shino woke up at seven thirty, and was ready by eight thirty, just as they planned. Kankuro, surprisingly, was up at the right time as well, though he took his time getting ready. He had packed _most_ of his things last night, though he said he fell asleep before he could finish it.

Lee was acting a little stangely when Shino went to remind him that they had to get going, though he too was packed and ready. Shino had expected him to be up a lot earlier then this, he usually was.

At last, around nine, they gathered in the pub with three heavy trunks waiting for Tom the innkeeper to summon the Knight Bus for them. For some strange reason, he seemed almost eager to have them leave. He escorted them outside and raised his wand (Shino had left his in his trunk, he didn't need it right now) and waved it slightly.

BANG!

The three of them jumped backwards as a large purple bus with three floors pulled to a stop in front of them. Shino noticed right away that the "Muggles" didn't seem to notice it there. Obiviously like the Leaky Cauldren, they weren't able to see it.

A man had a bad case of acne greeted them:

"Welcome to the Knight Bus, emergency transportation for the stranded witch or wizard. Just stick out you wand hand, step on board and we can take you anywhere you want to go. My name is-"

"You know what? We don't care, can we get this shit started already?" Kankuro rudely interrupted, walking up to the man and glaring at him. The man blinked, but didn't seem that intimidated by Kankuro's war paint and death glare. Shino was sure that the puppeteer was dissapointed.

"Well it's eleven sickles-" Kankuro shoved eleven silver coins in his hand and walked aboard, dragging his trunk behind him. Shino gave the man the right amount of coins and walked aboard as well with his own trunk. Lee followed, though he stopped to apoligize for the sand nin's behavior. It was odd how he and Lee seemed in charge of doing so.

On the bus, Shino, Lee and Kankuro chose seats right behind the drivers chair.

"Are you settled?" The driver asked. The man with the acne nodded, though it was clear that they weren't. At least Kankuro wasn't, he was still standing, trying to get his trunk to fit under his chair. The man wanted revenge on Kankuro for the rude remark.

"Alrighty then!" The driver said, changing the gears and slamming his foot down on the gas pedal.

BANG!

Kankuro was thrown painfully into Shino as the bus shot off with almost frightning speed.

"Get off!" Shino wheezed, putting his hands on the older teen's shoulders and attempted to shove him aside. The sand nin swore and sat up, knocking Shino's glasses off in the process.

Uncharacteristically, he also swore and scrambled to his feet to retrieve his glasses.

The fell over once more before they realized that they could stop from doing so by summoning chakra to their feet, sticking them to the floor. Though the three of them couldn't have been happier when they finally reached Kings Cross.

**The part about the three annoying Ollivander is just plain fun, though they asked a few questions that I had been wondering myself. How **_**does**_** Ollivander get dragon heartstring? And the part about the measuring tape was another one lol. I have some... plans... for Lee -evil demonic laughter-**

**Oh, and yes, my story DOES have a plot! Though it didn't when I started out :P**

**Please Review.**


	5. Hogwarts Express

**Hmmm... uh... Oh! Thanks to those people that reviewed, I really appreciate it. And I can't honestly think of anything else to say. Except that there will **_**not**_** be any team seven in this story. I don't want to many ninja's at Hogwarts. I notice in other fanfics that they have, like, fifteen shinobi at one time. It would be very hard to keep track of it all. So, I'm only going to have a total of seven ninja's there at one time.**

**Declaimer: I don't own Naruto or Harry Potter. They belong to Masashi Kishimoto and J.K Rowling. I don't know who I resent the most, seeing as Masashi Kishimoto got rid of two of my favorite Sannin (Though I absolutely refuse to believe that Jiraiya is dead). Or J.K Rowling who ruthlessly killed Hedwig and continued her heartless killings throughout the entire seventh book.**

**Heh, it looks like I **_**did**_** have something to say after all .**

Hogwarts Express

"Thank Kami that's over with," Kankuro moaned in Japanese, as the three of them pulled their trunks off the bus and on to the busy train station. Surprisingly, no one seemed to notice three very unusual individuals appear out of nowhere.

"So where do we have to go?" He asked, leading the way into the station. Now people noticed them. Shino in his oversized jacket, Lee in his green jumpsuit, and Kankuro in his full bunraku glory and war paint. There was also the fact that they also were pulling large trunks. Kankuro's puppets didn't help anything either.

Kankuro ignored them all and was looking at each train with interest; There weren't any trains in the desert, and he had never ridden any in any of his missions.

"Platform nine and three quarters," Lee answered, looking down at the ticket he held in his hand. Kankuro looked doubtfully at Lee, "Nine and three quarters? I'm no expert, but I don't think that-"

"It's on the ticket," Shino interrupted, "And you forget that this is also a place of magic, wherever nine and three quarters is, it's hidden." Kankuro bristled. The insect whelp was two years younger then he was, and always came out sounding like he was smarter then him. However it may seem, Kankuro hadn't forgotten their last battle, and he was determined to have a tiebreaker round. One that bent in his favor of course.

"Alright smartass, how do we find it?" Kankuro asked dryly. Shino didn't answer. "That's what I thought," Kankuro sighed. Lee frowned at the puppeteer, "Must you use such foul words each time you speak?" He asked, causing Kankuro to roll his eyes. He had classified Lee as a goody-two-shoes and teachers pet. Since it was usually "Gai-sensei this, and Gai-sensei that." Kankuro wondered what Baki would do if he suddenly became as freakishly devoted.

Baki probably wouldn't stand for it.

The thought of his old sensei lead to thoughts of his brother and sister, how he and Temari often ate at their favorite restaurant after training. How she would lecture him about eating healthy while he was devouring his morning burger. How Gaara and him stood on top of the wall and proved their newfound bond by watching the sunrise together. In Kankuro's eyes, the desert was by far the most beautiful landscape in the world. The endless sea of sand shone golden red in the sunrise, and the glorious heat! Yes, it did get very cold in the desert at night, but not like Konoha with. There it _snowed_ Kankuro hated snow. He also hated forests because pollen and such always made his eyes water, and irritated his throat. Konoha with it's countless trees...

Kankuro pulled his thoughts away from home and realized that he was shivering. It was cold here! Was it winter already? Neither Lee nor Shino seemed bothered by the chilly weather, so Kankuro decided to keep it to himself.

"I can't believe that getting on the mother fucking train isn't in the mother fucking instructions," Kankuro said, enjoying the sight of Lee wincing with every foul word. Really, this guy was almost to easy.

"We just have to wait for the other students," Shino said, his voice as calm and even as ever, "We follow them, and sooner or later they will show us what to do. I hope it's sooner, you're attracting a lot of attention Kankuro." Kankuro scowled and gave him the death glare that he had learned long ago from his father. Most people were at least_ somewhat_ affected by this glare, but the puppet master just had to be put with the two of the few people that weren't.

"Don't lecture me bug freak," Kankuro growled, deeply annoyed by Shino's stotic behavior. "You should have left off the make-up and that ridiculous hat," Shino said, grabbing his trolley and pushing towards the doors. The puppeteer was half tempted to pick up his trunk and hit Shino in the back of the head with it. "It's not like your stupid sunglasses and jacket aren't noticeable either Aburame," He spat, contenting himself by whacking him in the back of the head with his hand.

It went on like this as the three of them entered the station, and wondered around looking for someone. Both Kankuro and Shino were to busy concentrating on their argument to notice that Lee was far less energetic then usual.

They reached the area between platform nine and platform ten. The three of them made sure to stand twenty feet away so that they would have a good view of whoever used the gateway.

"Genjustu?" Kankuro asked, staring at the place where it should technically be.

"Genjutsu," Shino agreed, looking around.

"Look," Lee said suddenly, pointing at three youngsters, probably eleven or twelve, and their parents. It couldn't have been more obvious that these people belonged to the wizarding community. Their choice of clothes would have been clue enough. And three kids were pushing trollies with packages identical to theirs.

They watched as the party of nine walked towards the place where the gateway should be, then vanish.

_What the hell?_

Kankuro blinked, they just vanished, just like that. And the people around didn't even seem to notice.

_Wow, the civilians here are twice as stupid as the ones back home._

"Did anyone catch that?" He asked, looking at his two companions. Lee shook his head in bewilderment. Shino, however, left his baggage with them, and walked towards the area where the crowd of people disappeared. Kankuro however kept his eyes on Lee.

"Did you sleep alright last night Lee?" Kankuro asked with vague concern, "Not that I care, but you like you haven't slept in weeks." Lee jumped slightly, "N-no" He stammered, "I mean, yes, I slept fine, thank you for your concern." Kankuro raised an eyebrow, "Are you sure? You don't look very... _youthful_ today." Being proclaimed not "youthful" seemed to be more of an insult to him then "bushy brow." That was kind of amusing.

He scowled and crossed his arms defiantly, "I am fine," He announced loudly, glaring uncharacteristically at the puppet master. "No your not," Kankuro said bluntly, "You were fine yesterday, so something happened either last night, or this morning. Which was it? And while your at it, explain the 'what' part too." Kankuro watched Lee's face very carefully, more interested now then he was before. He didn't want anything to happen to the Green Bean. After all, Gaara was rather smitten with this wide-eyed weirdo.

"I-I just do not feel very well," Lee said, not meeting his eyes, "I must have eaten something I thought was youthful, but it turned out not so," Well, that was one mention of youth, though Kankuro. Thought it was a long way from the usual flowery speeches that Kankuro had come to associate with the young green beast. This also comes to a great advantage to the author(ess), who now realizes that she doesn't have to blow a few braincells trying to type Lee's poetic speech if he is ill and incapable of doing so. And so the chapter, and the ones following, will be written much more quickly.

Kankuro couldn't really tell _why_ he realized this. In fact, he didn't. It was the Author(ess) _making_ Kankuro realize this so that readers will realize this. All he knew was that strange thoughts were coming to his mind that passed far beyond his own comprehension. Like, for example, being a victim of this crossover, and that he is helplessly controlled by the Author(ess) who now has powers in his universe far greater then god.

But of course he realized, without realizing it, that the author(ess) is being a bitch because she interrupted the flow of the story to put all this crap in. And that the people who will be reading this (people who,strangely enough, are called "readers") will be going WTF?? At these totally random and completely pointless paragraphs.

Accepting that he had gotten some case of food poisoning, Kankuro turned his attention back to the bug boy, who was walked back towards them.

"I asked a couple of wizards that happen to be going through," The bug-nin said, "Apparently, we have to go at it at a run in order to get through to the other side. We can't be afraid of hitting the wall." Kankuro and Lee nodded, "So... okay then." Kankuro said, grabbing his trolley and wheeling it over to face the wall.

Sighing, he pushed it quickly forwards, keeping his eyes on the wall, the decidedly _solid_ looking wall. Just when he was about to hit it, the barrier vanished, and the Puppet Master was standing on the other side staring at a long scarlet train that puffed up grey, evil smelling smoke. Kankuro's eyes widened, in truth, he had never even _seen_ a train before. He felt a sudden burst of excitement. How did this run? He could see the parts on the outside and was thrilled to see that some looked like gears. Some parts were there to move the wheels, and what parts made the parts that move the wheels move? In a way, it was like a giant... puppet? Kankuro was very eager to know how this worked.

A moment later, Shino and Lee joined him.

"Will we be able to find a compartment to ourselves?" Lee asked, looking around at the crowded station, "Coming earlier probably would have ensured us that." Kankuro grunted, "What's done is done," He said shrugging, "If we can't find a compartment for ourselves, then we'll have to fucking make one, won't we?" He asked in an almost sweet tone. Lee winced as he usually did at the puppeteer's foul language.

The three of them pushed through the crowds, Kankuro rougher then the other two, and approached the second to last train car. While they were just about to get on (Kankuro let Lee and Shino go first) he examined the wheels a little closer. But unfortunately, thanks to that worm, he didn't get a very long chance.

Sighing, he grabbed his own trunk and easily hauled his trunk aboard. After all, you can't carry around two 250 pound puppets and not have strong upper body strength.

After few minutes, it was obvious that they would need to kick a few students out of a compartment if they wanted to have one to themselves. Kankuro randomly chose a compartment and flung it open.

"Alright, we're sitting here, all of your asses out," He said bluntly, in English of course, to the five occupants of the small room. One of them, a blond boy about his age with sleeked back hair, stood up and sneered at him.

"What if we don't want to move?" He sneered, "Freaks," He very unwisely finished. Kankuro narrowed and gave the stupid boy his death glare. And he was satisfied to see that it now had an effect. The boy's two cronies (at least that's what Kankuro assumed they were) stood up, standing on either side of the boy like bodyguards. Kankuro gave a spooky grin. Did these two thick headed looking fools really think that they stood a chance against him? Kankuro was bigger and more muscular ((Fangirl moment: And better looking SQUEEEE!!)) then either of them.

"Freaks?" Kankuro asked coolly, casually reaching over and grabbing the boy by the front of the robes, lifting him effortlessly so that his feet dangled five inches off the ground. "What's your name _baka_?" He asked, his voice low and sinister, a tone of voice that he often heard from the fourth Kazekage, bringing the boy closer so that they were now nose to nose. He sensed the two Konoha ninja shift uneasily behind him. Well, if they don't like the way he learned to do things, then too bad. After all, in Suna, it was a constant fight for dominance anywhere you go.

"D-Draco M-Malfoy," The boy stammered, now realizing that there was potential danger for him to get hurt. Or so he thought, the three ninja were forbidden to harm any Hogwarts students unless they proved dangerous to the person they were protecting. All the same, Kankuro felt a immense sense of satisfaction at the sight of the fear D-Draco M-Malfoy's eyes. His father had taught him that fear was the best method to use in order to get people to do what you want. The best way to get respect. Aside from Baki, Kankuro had seen very few cases where his father was wrong in this aspect.

"Well, Draco," Kankuro said silkily, "Me and my two... companions of mine want these seats. And we want to be here alone. Now, if you don't move yourselves, the five of you will have mysteriously disappeared before you even get to Hogwarts. Do I make myself clear?" Many terrified nods later, and a great scrambling to grab their trunks and get out as fast as they could, the five Slytherins (not that Kankuro knows that they're in Slytherin) were out.

Kankuro felt an odd feeling take place in the pit of his stomach as he watched the five wizards trip over themselves in their haste to get away. But like all the other times this odd feeling appeared, he ignored it. "Why the faces?" He asked, noticing the expressions of the two leaf ninjas, "We got what we wanted." Kankuro realized that there were other ways of saying that, but what the hell.

Lee shook his head and pulled his trunk inside. Hoisting it up on the rack above. Shino followed, also not saying anything to the sand nin. "What?" Kankuro asked, entering last.

"There was no need for that unyouthful display," Lee answered him at last, "That barbaric show of dominance? That was bullying. We could have just asked them to leave." Kankuro grunted. So that was it was it? "I doubt that they would have moved even if we did use pretty manners on them," Kankuro said, sitting down below his trunk. "That does not matter! We could have simply tried to find another one." The puppet master shook his head, "I don't think anyone would have willingly given up their seats, the train is pretty full."

"That is not-!" Kankuro raised a hand to silence the young green beast of Konoha, he was getting tired of this argument, "I don't care," He said, "We got this compartment, I'm not about to chase after those bastards to give it back, and your bitching isn't going to change my mind." Lee scowled, and he and Kankuro fell into an icy silence. Again, very uncharacteristic for him.

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

Ginny sighed, she had told the others that she had to go to the bathroom. But she really just wanted to get out, that Luna girl freaked her out slightly with her constant staring. Also, although she liked Quidditch, that the boys talked about absolutely nothing else was a little annoying.

She walked down the trains corridor into the next one over to check and see if Michael was there. Upon entering the next train, she stopped in her tracks. A large, rather scary looking boy was hanging up a very small (and squealing) first year on a candle holder with a air of great boredrom.

The boy had purple face paint in strange designs on his face, he wore a black jumpsuit of some kind, and wore a hat that looked like it had cat ears. Ginny noticed two bandage... somethings, leaning against the wall behind him.

"Don't talk back to me again _gaki_ or I won't be so nice next time," He said, stepping back to admire his work. He spoke in a kind of deep drawl, it was enough for the kid to whimper a little louder. He turned and paused when he saw her standing there.

"What are you staring at?" He asked agressivly. Ginny had never been easily intimedated, "You," She said simply, "That's not very nice." She walked over and (with a little help from her wand) let the boy down. The boy squinted at the first year with one eye, the first year gave a squeak of fright, and ran off.

"I know it wasn't nice," the boy said conversationally, "That's why I did it," he offered her a nasty smile as he turned away, "Now, if you'll excuse me, I don't have time to talk to whelp, I have to go." Ginny couldn't believe what she just heard.

"Whelp?" She asked, raising her wand.

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

Shino didn't hate the journey aboard the train, but he didn't exactly like it either. Though a good thing that could be said about it was that it seemed to have gotten Lee back into his old spirits, he had been looking a little down this morning. It must have been just a flue or something. The green clad teenager watched the country with a childish glee, leaping around (which was tiresome, the campartment wasn't exactly big) and made loud, poetic proclaimations of youth.

Kankuro, growing tired of Lee ethics, left for a little while. Apparently to "Go to the bathroom." Though Shino wasn't all that inclined to believe him. He couldn't stop him, otherwise the older boy might come down on him for trying to control him. Lee had opened the window again, and to Shino's annoyance, a few of his bugs flew out and disappeared.

The compartment door opened. Shino looked casually up from the book that he was reading. And did a massive double-take. The Puppet Master's face was covered in what looked like hundreds of tiny flapping bats. Shino couldn't honestly think of anything to say about the situation. Lee was also struck dumb, staring at the older boy with his mouth hanging open.

"You." Kankuro croaked, pointing at Shino, "Find a way to get my face fucking back to normal."

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Lee watched in interest as Shino dug into his trunk and brought out his spellbook. After several tries, he managed to get the Puppet Master's face back to normal. Facepaint and all.

"What happened?" Lee asked his rather unyouthful companion. Kankuro gave a grunt and pulled a book out of his pocket, clearly not about to answer. Lee was interested to note that the book he was reading was one of the famous "Itcha Itcha" series. The green beast wondered how he got that, these books were only sold to people eighteen and older.

Lee wondered why _anyone_ would want to read that smut. Though Kakashi, Gai-sensei's most hip and cool eternal rival seemed to enjoy it imensly.

Reaching up to his neck when he was sure the other two weren't looking, Lee felt the hideous neckless around his neck. Each mile they went, the better Lee felt. He never was able to feel the full glory of his springtime of youth until now. It had left him, now it was back. He planned to keep it that way. Gai-sensei was right (as he usually was) to loose your passion of youth is a terrible thing. The flames of his soul will not be put out! He will return home stronger then before and test his strength against his hero! This neckless is merely an obstacle, and when he figured out what kind of obstacle was, then he'll overcome it!

_Gai-sensei, I promise that I'll return to you every bit as youthful as before!_

YOSH!!

**Ok, next up is the Sorting. Now, I'm not completely sure about which houses to put them in. Or whether or not it would make more sense to have all three of them in the Griffindor house to keep an eye on Harry. But this is the way I see it if I do decide to put them in different houses:**

**Shino: Ravenclaw Lee: Gryffindor Kankuro: Slytherin**

**At first, I was going to have Kankuro be friendly with Malfoy, but then I decided that it would be amusing to see a bully get bullied. Than that bully get hit by Ginny's Bat Bogey Hex. And there will be that mysterious Kunoichi -senses readers rolling their eyes- in the next chapter**

**Review!**


	6. The sorting

**Another Chapter! Yay! Thanks to those people that were nice enough to review. And thanks to chocolate icecream that gave me the energy boost needed to write this entire chapter in three hours.**

**Declaimer: I don't own Naruto or Harry Potter.**

The Sorting

Anko ((As I'm sure you readers have guessed by now is Hogwarts Gym teacher)) sat boredly in her office. Office, it felt strange somehow. She was a teacher. Strange, seeing as she had refused to take on any teams for the past several years. And it was her job to whip several hundred soft students into shape. According to the Hokage, there will be two more leaf ninjas attending the school to protect one of the students who apparently was of great importance.

She didn't really think much of the teachers. The McGonagall character was far to uptight. In fact they all were.

_The staff here really need to loosen up_

Anko thought dryly as she slid off her desk (on which she had been sitting) and walked out the door. She had to attend the feast, not that she objected to this. Dumby promised that there would be dango.

She sauntered out of her office and up the stairs, past the large classroom that will serve as a gym for the next ten months. And up some more stairs...

_Kami, how many stairs does this fucking place have!?_

Luckily, being a Kunoichi, Anko only got lost once, and that was the first time she got here. Since then, she had been carefully storing secret passageways (in which that delightful Argus Filth...er... Filch had unwittingly shown her) into her memory. Of course, if she had had a poor memory, Orochimaru would never had taken any interest in her. Although, that might not have been such a bad thing...

She walked through the door into the Entrance Hall, and saw the potions master, Severus Snape, come out of the hall leading from the dungeons.

"Snapey!" She crowed, floating towards him. She was greatly amused to see his eye twitch at the sight of her. Anko enjoyed teasing the rather bitter teacher, and did so whenever she pleased. "Don't call me that," He growled, not sparing her a glance. Anko was not someone who liked to be ignored, fell into step with him as they walked towards the Great hall.

"Aw, why so grumpy? Did you wake up on the wrong side of your bed... again?" She snickered, he ignored her and sped up to enter the Great Hall before her. When she got there, she realized that he took the seat away from her own.

_Ah well_

The purple haired kunoichi sat down on the seat at the left of the large, throne-like chair that Dumbledore often sat in. Leaning backwards, she put her feet on the table and stared absently at the table as she waited for the students to arrive. She didn't have to wait long, fifteen minutes later she heard the unmistakable sound of many, many footsteps coming through the Entrance Hall.

The doors open, and hundreds of little brats swarmed in, dividing up into the four tables that stood in the Great Hall. Anko leaned forward to see them as they came, she easily picked out the ninjas. But to her surprise, there were three of them.

_Lady Hokage said that there would only be two._

She could see that one of them was a Sand ninja. Anko couldn't remember his name, but she knew that he was there during the chunnin exams that eventually resulted in the Third's demise. One of the Sand Siblings she was sure. He was probably sent independently, she wondered if his goals were the same as the other two genins. She decided to keep an eye on him, just in case his intentions differ from the Leaf ninja's.

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

Kankuro was tempted to knock a few runts over as they bumped into him. But the other two made it clear that he had to behave.

Someone didn't just bump into him, he hit him and bounced off. Kankuro turned irritably around, laying sprawled on the ground before him was a chubby boy about his own age. When the boy looked up, Kankuro was satisfied to see him almost dissolve in fear. "S-s-sorry," The boy stammered, trying to get up, difficult to do seeing as his knees were shaking.

Sensing severe weakness, Kankuro leaned over and grabbed the shaking boy by the front of his robes and hoisted him roughly to his feet. "What did you bump into me for?" He snarled aggressively, the boy whimpered, "Name!" the puppet master barked. Because they were off slightly to the side, no one paid either of them any attention.

"N-n-n-e-e," This one was even more cowardly then the last one. Kankuro lifted him so that the boy's toes barely brushed the ground. "Neville Longbottem!" He cried, "Don't hurt me!" The satisfaction he had felt when this first started disappeared, replaced with the odd feeling when he saw the pure fear in the boy's eyes. Kankuro had seen the exact fear in the eyes of people facing the Fourth Kazekage. He was sure that there was a time when that same fear was in his own eyes, a long time ago...

Feeling sick, he put Neville back on the ground, "Don't do it again," He said gruffly, before setting off to find the two leaf nin's. Leaving Neville to stare after him in terror.

He approached the black carriages, he stopped when he passed close enough to one to examine it's horses. If you could call it that. It was the ugliest horse that Kankuro had ever seen, it didn't seem to have any flesh, just skin hanging off a skeleton.

"Kankuro," The puppet master turned towards the his name and saw Lee waving at him out of one of the carriages, hurrying over, he climbed in, sitting across from the bug freak. "Where were you?" The Aburame asked in his usual stotic tone, Kankuro bristled again, "What? Do I have report to you everything I do?" Shino didn't answer, so Kankuro sighed and stared out the window.

About five minutes later, he came in full view of the castle that they were to be living in for the next few months. He gaped at it, it was even fifty times bigger then the Kazekage tower. Kankuro only ever saw something this big once before. ((Second movie reference))

A few more minutes later, the carriages stopped, allowed the students, and the ninjas to get off and head up the front steps of the castle. Kankuro noted that most of them, especially the shrimpy ones, gave them, or rather, him, a wide berth. He could practically feel Shino's and Lee's suspicious stares bore into the back of his head.

The three of them attracted curious looks from, well, everybody. They entered the Entrance hall with the students, but hung back while they filed inside. When they were gone, a black-haired women with rather severe face approached them, "Are you Aburame Shino, Rock Lee, and Sabaku Kankuro?" She asked them with a rather clipped tone that reminded Kankuro of that strict secretary that used to work for the Fourth Kazekage.

"Yeah, that's us," The Puppet Master said rudely with an insolent smirk on his painted face. She sniffed at him much the same way the wandmaker did. Kankuro immediately could tell that the two of them probably won't be getting along very well. Ah well. Life goes on.

"Well," She said, "I'm Professor McGonagall, Transfiguration Teacher, and I have orders to tell you to wait out here until the first years have been sorted, then you'll be introduced as foreign students ((Not very original, but with over fifty thousand stories, It's very hard to be)), then sorted into your houses. Any questions?" They shook their heads, they knew all about the four houses, and it's four founders. Young they may be, none of them were incompetent.

The three ninjas waited. The first year students, recognize by their tiny size, entered through a door from across the hall. The filed in, every one of them looking terrified, one even more so, seeing as he had spotted Kankuro leaning against the wall next to the doors to the Great Hall. The boy walked with rigid fear, but Kankuro paid him no attention, and was more focused on the rest of the hall, as was his companions.

It must have been another half an hour before they were called in.

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Hermione, being as smart as she was, didn't fail to notice that Professor McGonagall didn't pick up the stool with the sorting hat on it and take it away as she usually did. Dumbledore stood up and smiled at all of them. She could almost feel the tension, that had been coming from Harry, disappear. This at least was familiar.

"Hogwarts has been fortunate enough this year to receive three new students from a far off country," He said grandly, beaming at them all as they murmured to each other with interest. "They will be sorted into three houses, and I ask that Hogwarts treat our guests with all the courtesy it can offer." He sat down and McGonagall let in three _very_ unusual individuals. The one at the front was probably the most frightening of the three, he wore an odd cat eared hat, a black loose fitting jumpsuit with a symbol on the front, and his face was heavily painted in almost threatening tribal designs. On his back was two, heavy looking burdens that were heavily wrapped in bandages, she could see that one of them ((or is it two? DX)) had what appeared to be brown hair on the top. As though he was lugging around a body...

Hermione shivered, she looked around, and was surprised to see Neville staring at the large boy as though he had just popped right out of his nightmares. She was about to ask him what was the matter, when her attention was caught by the other two. The one that walked right behind the front boy was no less mysterious. He wore a pair of small round sunglasses that completely covered his eyes. The brown haired boy had the collar of his long jacket covering the lower half of his face.

The final boy however gave an impression of great energy, and looked just as strange as his two friends. But what was different with him was that he didn't try to hide under coats, paints, or loose clothing. Quite the contrary, he wore what appeared to be a green tight fitting jumpsuit ((Not spandex, I don't believe it's spandex)), orange legwarmers and a bright, eager smile.

Hermione noticed that the brown haired boy and the black haired boy both wore headbands (though the black haired boy wore it as a belt) that had a sort of swirly symbol, but the large boy had a symbol that looked like a hour glass. She wondered what that meant.

"Please give welcome Sabaku Kankuro, Aburame Shino, and Rock Lee to our humble school," Dumbledore said, standing again. The applause was rather lukewarm, as it was with Professor Moody last year. She saw the large boy with the cat ears lean over to the boy with the high collar. He whispered something, obviously in another language, because Hermione didn't understand what he said (she knew how to lip read of course), the large boy chuckled, and she could swear that the brown haired boy looked amused as well.

McGonagall was back at the sorting hat. "Aburame Shino," She said, holding the hat out for him. Shino walked over to the stool and sat down, allowing McGonagall to put the hat on his head. Twenty seconds later, the hat shouted "RAVENCLAW" The Ravenclaw table burst into cheers, Shino got up and slowly made his way to the table cheering for him, but he sat apart from all of them, and ignored their questions.

"Rock Lee," the Transfiguration teacher called, and the energetic boy marched up to the stool and sat down in a sort of final way. The hat stayed on his head for the same amount of time, before shouting: "GRYFFINDOR" Hermione joined in on the cheers that greeted the green clad boy. He leapt up grinning, tearing off the hat, he ran towards his table and took his place across from Harry and Ron. "Hi!" He said cheerfully to her, "I must admit, your school is very youthful! I am glad to be experiencing this wonderful event in your excellent, no, youthful school! It gladdens my youthful heart that I will be spending time here in the springtime of my everlasting youth! And your castle is most beautiful, so much that I cannot think of the words to describe it!" He stopped so that he could watch the final new student get sorted. Leaving Hermione, Ron, Harry, and most of the people surrounding them in a stunned silence.

"And Sabaku Kankuro," McGonagall said, as the last boy strutted forwards. He moved in a confident, if menacing, fashion. He sat down on the stool and actually refused McGonagall when she asked him to take off his hat.

"I don't think so," He said with a bit of a dark drawl in his voice, "McGonagall scowled, "Mr. Sabaku, I must insist," But, Kankuro interrupted her, "You can insist all you fucking want, I'm not taking off my hat." There was a collective gasp, and Lee scowled as he stared at the other boy, "That Kankuro! He is most unyouthful!" If unyouthful meant rude, insolent, and uncouth, then Hermione agreed with him wholeheartedly. She could never stand it when people were rude to teachers.

McGonagall's lips went impossibly thin, but she slipped the hat on the rude boy's head, over his hat, and stepped back. Ten seconds later, the hat shouted: "SLYTHERIN"

"Yeah, I kinda got that vibe from him," Ginny's grim voice sounded from Hermione's right, "You've met him before?" She asked the lone Weasley female with surprise. Ginny nodded, "On the train, he was being a bully, so I got him." Hermione wondered what she meant by this, but didn't ask because she was busy watching Kankuro move towards the table that was clapping. He found a seat that suited him, the only problem was that someone was already in it. When he asked for it, the Slytherin refused to move, so the large boy reached over and grabbed the back of the chair, and pulled it back as if it weighed nothing, so that the boy fell out. Then sitting down, he ignored the angry boy, he proceeded to look around with interest.

Hermione could say at once that she didn't like him one bit.

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

Shino rolled his eyes slightly at the Puppet Master's coarse behavior, he was obviously showing off, giving the school the impression that he was a bad-ass. Which, come to think of it, he kind of was.

The old man, Dumbledore, their employer stood up, "To our newcomers," he said happily, "welcome! To our old hands- welcome back! There is a time for speech making, but this is not it, tuck in!" Shino felt his jaw drop when the empty plates that sat before them suddenly filled with large amounts of delicious foods. Shino, not being a huge eater, as Kankuro was, chose a bowl of ramen and ate that slowly, his eyes scanning the Great Hall with interest. Lee was chatting a mile a minute to the people around him, all of whom didn't seem to be keeping up.

Kankuro, on the other hand, was chatting casually with the people around him, the blond haired boy, Draco Malfoy, had moved up a few seats so that he sat across from the Sand nin, and it appeared that the two of them were... either having a serious conversation, or exchanging threats, Shino wondered vaguely which.

"Your strange, where do you come from?" A sort of dreamy voice floated to him from across from him. He turned his attention to the table, and saw a blond girl with permanently wide eyes staring at him with vague interest. "Fire country," He said shortly, looking up at the ceiling, trying to get in as many details as he could. "Oh? Do you have Heliopaths there?" Shino had no idea what Heliopaths were, "No," He said, hoping to discourage further conversation. The girl, however, didn't take the hint "So why is it called Fire Country?" The bug nin sighed, "I'm not permeated to speak of my homeland," This wasn't true, but this conversation was wearisome.

"Hmmm..." She said, staring into space, mercifully losing interest in talking to him.

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

Draco watched as the boy that had kicked him and his friends out of their compartment was sorted in his own house. And worse, Kankuro seemed his age, so odds are they had to share a room together. And already, the freak proved himself more dominant then Draco himself. And already the blond haired boy could sense that his own followers were very much impressed with the foreign student.

Kankuro strutted towards his table, and sat down across from Draco, unfortunately Nott was already there, but that didn't stop the big guy from kicking him out of it. Far from being annoyed or angry that this new guy had kicked one of their own out of his seat, a lot of Slytherins were staring at the black dressed boy with admiration. Draco scowled, the influence he had over his own house would diminish if everyone suddenly went for the Sabaku character.

Unless...

Yes, that's the smart thing to do isn't it?

**Hmm, I personally think that Draco is a natural born politician, opposing Kankuro whilst the rest of his house admires him won't do him any good. Soo... So far, Kankuro, Lee, and even Anko have a struggle of some kind. Kankuro's inner struggle, Lee's struggle with his new bling, and Anko's struggle is going to whip seven hundred soft wizard asses in shape. Poor women. Now what is Shino's struggle? -ponders- hmmmm...**


	7. the feast

**Curse me!! I just don't feel like typing at all DX I have to force myself on the computer to finish this. Though I couldn't have done it without the help of a large bar of dark chocolate. Thanks to the people that reviewed, and one of my reviewers (you know who you are, I don't have internet during the time I'm writing this, so I can't remember exactly who...) asked me what Kankuro said to Shino that made him seem amused.**

**My answer: How the fuck should I know? I had only done it at Hermione's point of view because I couldn't think of what the sorting hat might say to the ninja. I figured that I could also slip the slight Kankuro and Shino interaction and no one would question it. Turns out I was wrong. CURSE YOU INTELLIGENT REVIEWERS!! You made me think!!**

**-pauses- WAIIIITEE!! Come back!! I didn't mean it!! I Love you!! Well, not really, but still...**

**Declaimer: Dense people like myself should never really try and say clever things, it just don't work. So instead of a witty denial of ownership I'll keep it simple: I don't own Naruto or Harry Potter.**

The Feast

Lee was tired but happy after the feast. Never had he seen such a exquisite youthful display of food! Every dish imaginable and quite a few ones from his own homeland, obviously there to honor the foreign guests. Lee only tried a nibble of everything, and that was enough to make him feel quite full before the desserts arrived. Unable to fight the allure of the delicious treats in front of him, he tried this and that while making a self-promise that he would work it off. Tomorrow.

He, of course, listened and talked to everyone at the table, eager to learn more about his home for the next year. This bushy haired Hermione Granger ((Not that he should be talking about any bushiness on anyone else)) was a wealth of information. Any questions he asked, she had answers for. And he asked plenty of questions.

Much of the time during the feast he devoted to talking to Hermione. And Hermione in return was delighted to find someone who actually listened (and remembered) what she said. Although she supplied him with much, Lee made sure not to let anything slip to her about his country, or his life. Hogwarts wasn't even aware that they were shinobi! He knew that youthful and ever intelligent Hermione would remember it if he made any mistake in their conversation.

At last, the food disappeared from the plates, leaving them just as shiny as before. Lee could have wept from the sheer youthfulness of this castle. His delight would only be complete if only his Gai-sensei was here!

He noticed the students look up at the staff table, obviously there was going to be a speech. The youthful green beast looked up as well, and saw the old man (their employer) stand up and smile at all of them as though they were all his grandchildren.

"Well, now that we are all digesting another magnificent feast, I beg a few moments of your attention for the usual start-of-term notices," Their employer said, "First years and new students ought to know that the forest in the grounds is out-of-bounds to students-"

_That won't stop Shino, myself, or unyouthful Kankuro from training there._

"-and a few of our older students out to know by now too." Lee noticed youthful Hermione and her friends exchange amused looks.

"Mr. Filch, the caretaker, has asked me, for what he tells me is the four hundred and sixty second time, to remind you all that magic is not permitted in the corridors between classes, nor are a number of other things, all of which can be checked on the extensive list now fastened to Mr Filch's office door.

_I shall have a look later._

"We have two changes in staffing this year. We are very pleased to welcome back Professor Grubby-Plank, who will taking Care of Magical Creatures lessons; we are also delighted to introduce Professor Umbridge, our new Defence against the Dark Arts teacher."

After a short and polite applause, Dumbledore continued on, "Tryouts for the house Quidditch teams will take place on the-" He stopped, and Lee could tell instantly why; The toad lady had stood up, Lee understood why others didn't seem to see this at first, Umbridge was no taller sitting down then when she was standing up.

"_Hem Hem"_ Lee disliked her instantly. From there on, she began a desperately boring speech, that would have put any normal person to sleep. Lee, being remarkably willful, was able to keep his attention on it enough to know exactly what she was saying. By the sounds of it, the government was trying to interfere with the schools teachings. He didn't know enough to tell whether or not this was a good thing.

Near the end of the speech, Lee looked at his two comrades (can Kankuro count as a comrade? He sure didn't act like one) and saw, without surprise, Shino was listening intently, but it was a bit of a shock to find that Kankuro seemed to be listening equally hard. He'd expected the older boy to have gotten bored long ago and be fiddling around with something.

When the speech ended, most of the students didn't even register it, seeing as practically all of them had not been paying any attention. They came around when Dumbledore stood up again and continued with his start of term speech.

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

Shino walked out to the Entrance hall with all of the other students, but off to one side and waited for the other two ninja. They came thirty seconds after him and the three of them waited until all the students had gone off to bed.

"Really boring speech wasn't it?" Kankuro sighed, "If I hadn't spent the last few months listening to boring speeches, then I probably would have fallen asleep."

_Ah, so that explained it._

Shino also marvelled that the bad-tempered sand-nin spoke an entire sentence without any cursing. Perhaps the good food had put him in a far better mood then he had been during the past week.

When the last student had disappeared, their employer came out and smiled at them. "Follow me to my office please, we'll talk there." So the three of them followed him through the endless winding passage ways and staircases the castle seemed to hold. He marked his path with beetles, and he noticed both other shinobi do the same (though not with beetles). It wouldn't do to get lost.

Along the way, the two leaf ninja and the single sand discovered something that nearly gave all of them a heart attack.

The pictures _moved_.

They waved and smiled at them, some even running into it's neighbors painting to follow them. Not only that, but the suits of armor that they passed turned their heads and watched them as they walked by. It was all rather unnerving.

At last they came to a large statue of a Gargoyle, Dumbledore gave it a password, and Shino was both surprised and impressed when the Statue came alive and jump aside. If only there was a way to do this with chakra, security would be so much more reliable...

The ascended, going around and around until they came to a door (oak?) with a large brass knocker. They entered and Dumbledore went to go sit as his deck. The three shinobi had stopped and were gazing around his office in wonder. It was a remarkable place, round and full of odd instruments. There were more moving pictures here. Maybe Shino was being paranoid, but he wasn't exactly comfortable with the fact that there was always something watching you wherever you go in this castle.

"I thank you three for coming," Dumbledore said, drawing their attention back to their employer, "I have only once before obtained the service of a ninja, and I was more then a little satisfied with their efforts." He gestured to the three seats in front of him, and the shinobi walked forward and sat obediently down.

"Now I'm sure you know why you're here, and what you must do, so I'm not going to bother you with that, but I do want to lay down some rules: One, While I am giving you free reign of the school, you must understand your boundaries; You are not to go into any of the four houses but your own, to be caught in one means immediate expulsion. Two, the forest is dangerous, especially during the night, I ask you not to enter out of concern for your safety." Although Lee's and Kankuro's face remained immobile, Shino could sense them scoffing inwardly, after all, the Forbidden forest couldn't be any worse then the Forest of Death.

"But on the event that you do want to enter, please let a member of the staff know so that we could keep track of the time you're there, just in case." Kankuro leaned forward slightly and spoke in his usual drawl, "I didn't realize that we would be babysat during this mission Sir," Shino shared this thought, as a shinobi he was unaccustomed to such childish treatment. But on the other hand, it looked like Kankuro _was_ capable of being polite.

Dumbledore smiled.

"Any and all children under my care are my repressibility," Shino, Lee and Kankuro bristled as one. _Children? _"and I doubt that neither the Hokage or the Kazekage would be happy if anything happened to their ninja's. Especially if one of them is the Kazekage's brother." Shino noticed as slight spasm flit across Kankuro's features, he wondered what that was about.

"Three, You are not to let any of the other students know about your suspicious freedom, question will be asked. And, you must forgive me for repeating what you already know, you must not let anyone in the castle know about your... particular talents. And any fighting at all is not tolerated" They nodded, and Dumbledore continued.

"The boy I'm asking you to protect is of utmost importance, though he himself isn't all that aware, there are dark foes that wish him gone, and that is why you are here. Any questions?" Shino nodded, "About our classes, what is our schedule?" Lee perked up, looking interested, Kankuro groaned and leaned back to stare at the ceiling.

"Your ages are unknown to the students, and much of the staff, you'll be in the same year as Harry." Shino noted the use of their charges given name, this suggested a certain closeness. "Which means that, Kankuro, Shino-" Maybe their employers use of Harry Potter's given name didn't suggest anything after all, "-You will be taking some classes with Harry. Lee, you'll be in all of his classes. Here." He pushed what seemed to be a timetable in front of them. They leaned over and examined it.

It was Harry Potter's daily schedule. History of Magic, Double Potions, Divination, Double Defence Against the Dark Arts on Monday. History of Magic by themselves, Potions with the Slytherins, Divination with Gryffindors alone, and Defence against the Dark arts with Hufflepuff. "And these are your timetables," Dumbledore pushed three other ones to their respective ninja.

Shino examined his. Herbology with Slytherins, double History of Magic with Ravenclaws alone, Charms with Hufflepuff, and that ended his Monday. Tuesday it looked like he was having his Defence against the Dark Arts class in the morning, with the Slytherins. Oh joy. Shino sneaked a peek at Kankuro's timetable (Kankuro took middle seat, Shino was to his right, Lee to his left) and saw that he had an extra class added to his. Care of Magical Creatures. Which was, apparently, with Gryffindors.

"Is that all?" Lee asked, looking up from his own schedule (which was the exact same as Harry Potter's). Dumbledore smiled (again), "I think we've covered it all. Although I would like to warn you against saying anything to Professor Umbridge while you are with us, it is of utmost importance." Although this confused them, they agreed to this without question. "I will have the heads of the Houses you're in to escort you to your sleeping quarters." He stood up, and the three shinobi immediately stood up as well. Though Dumbledore made no sign, his door opened, and three teachers walked in. The women that was overlooking the sorting hat ceremony, a man with dark, greasy hair, and another man who was half of Shino's size.

"This is Professor McGonagall Head of Gryffindor and Transfiguration teacher. Professor Snape head of Slytherin, Potions master. And Professor Flitwick, Head of Ravenclaw, Charms teacher. These are the only three teachers that know of your real purpose." Dumbledore said, bowing his head at the person he was introducing. McGonagall gave a curt nod at Lee, who smiled and flashed her his "Good Guy" pose. Flitwick gave Shino a cheery smile, who only responded with a nod similar to McGonagall's. Snape didn't do either. He gave Kankuro a disgusted look, Kankuro met his gaze with a small sneer playing at the corner of his mouth.

Shino wouldn't have minded staying around to watch this particular interaction.

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

Kankuro had to admit, he felt better now then he had all week. Though it was almost as cold inside this castle as it was outside. Although Kankuro was wearing light desert clothes. He didn't think he would need his winter clothes until winter. Thinking this gave him a small sense of dread, if it was this cold now (apparently it was autumn) he didn't even want to imagine what it would be like when it actually _snowed_. He'd probably freeze his ass off while Lee does his "youthful" dancing under the snowflakes. And the dude was wearing a tight jumpsuit!

This feast was one of the best he had ever been at. When he was young, he and his siblings (or rather, he and Temari) were forced into uncomfortable fancy kimonos, and they were forbidden to gorge themselves at any of the formal ceremonies they were at. Here however, he was able to eat as much as he wanted. Which he regretted later as he was walking down the corridor with Slytherin's head of house.

At first, Snape was as talkative as Gaara, and Kankuro considered starting a conversation just to annoy the man, but Snape spoke first. "This is the way to the common room, remember it because don't expect anyone else to help you out if you get lost."

_Bastard_

"I'm a Sand shinobi _baka_, we are known for our quality over quantity." Kankuro sneered.

_We are also known for our lack of pretty manners, our cruel training programs, and our hardass shinobi._

Kankuro noted that Snape's reaction wasn't as explosive as he had expected it to be. Obviously the man didn't speak Japanese. Hmmm... "Since you are in my house, I will not be spoken to like that. That would merit a detention." The puppet master blinked, "What's a detention?" He asked, half of it was sarcasm, the other half was sincere. For the longest time, Suna didn't have an Academy, all training was private, poorer families couldn't afford a Jonin or Chunin instructor for their children. Which was why most of Suna's Shinobi were middle or high class. Of course, with the old tradition, and Suna's cruel training methods, it was little wonder that they were short on ninja. Children don't always survive instruction. Long treks across the desert with stotic shinobi would do that.

Snape seemed a bit thrown by the question.

"Detention is what we call punishment. I expect you in my office at eight o'clock Saturday morning." Kankuro hid a smirk, "Yes sir." Punishment here can't be any worse then cleaning Suna's sewers. He doubted Dumbledore, being the soft old geezer he is, would allow it.

They approached a long stretch of wall, and stopped there. "This is the entrance of the Slytherin Common room." Kankuro looked around, he didn't see any entrance, he didn't even see any outline in the wall to indicate a door. Snape turned towards the wall, "Purity is Power," he said clearly. Just when the Sand-nin was about to ask the Potion Master what the hell he was talking about, part of the wall slid back, revealing a dark tunnel.

"Your things are in the Fifth year room." He said walking away from the doorway, "Boys Dorm, I will not have any perversion in my house." Damn, it was like he knew about Kankuro's Itcha Itcha collection! All signed too by the King of perverts. It was always nice for the older generation to pave a way for the younger generation to follow in their shady footprints. Gotta love a dedicated author. Getting them was a pain in the ass, getting them signed was a bigger pain. Well, not really. Most people can't tell his age just by looking at him, his size and drawl gave people the impression that he was much older then fifteen. Lets just hope that Temari and Baki never find out that he lied about how old he was to buy them...

Though he couldn't help but feel that Lord Jiraiya knew anyway, he signed the Sand Nin's book and gave it back to him with a knowing wink.

Kankuro shifted his puppets from slightly and walked through the entranceway, he heard the wall close behind him. He wondered vaguely how he was to get out. He turned around and walked up to the wall, it opened automatically for him. Satisfied, he turned again and continued his journey onward.

He finally entered the common room, and was impressed by it. Green seemed to be the color here, as well as a sort of rich kind of elegance. The chairs were ebony and the tables oak. The bookshelves were a different kind of tree he didn't recognize. No one was here, of course not, they were all in bed. Ah well, he'll find his way soon enough.

Heading towards two doors on one side of the common room, he tried one, and had his had scalded. Cursing, he jerked away and glared at the door. He received a shock when the door shrieked _"This is the girls dorm pervert!"_ Unable to think of a way to answer the door, Kankuro tried the other, and was relieved to find that it opened without any unexpected (and unpleasant) surprises.

Making his way up to the boys dorm, Kankuro noticed that the rooms had signs over them, listing the year that occupied the room. He reached fifth year, any out of shape person would have been panting from the climb. Sighing, he opened the door and entered, unsure really what to expect. That Draco Malfoy was suddenly nice during the feast, he couldn't help but consider that suspicious behavior.

The others in the room weren't asleep yet, they stopped talking the moment he entered. Which any idiot could conclude that they had just been talking about him, or were talking about something they didn't want him to hear. There were five of them in the room, they were either small and mousy, or large and brutish. The only one there that seemed to have any amount of intelligence was the Draco Malfoy character.

"Wussup?" He drawled, walking over to his trunk that was put in front of the bed nearest to the door. He didn't mind this terribly, he would have wanted one next to a window, but there were none here.

"Ah Kankuro, we were just talking about you," Malfoy said in a falsely cheery voice. Kankuro didn't even face him as he drew out his sleeping pants. "Were you?" He said, deciding to sound like he didn't give a damn. Malfoy cleared his throat, "Well, since you're new to this school, it was decided that I would show you around the grounds," Kankuro was sure that they were talking more then that, but decided to play along, "Fine," He said, getting into his bed (a canopy) and pulling the curtains around him. He decided to keep his face a mystery to Hogwarts. It would be interesting to see how long he could go without people guessing the color of his hair. And weaving some chakra strings into the curtains should stop any curious roommates from peeking during the night.

**I slipped Jiraiya in there because I absolutely love the big, lovable pervert! Another reviewer (or was it the same one? -ponders-) pointed out that Kankuro wasn't really that much of a jerk in the show, and I agree. I just figured that with being woken up at three in the morning (something that would piss me off no end) and sent away from your home for a year, and forced to be in the company of Aburame Shino and Rock Lee, I'd be pretty crabby too. The cold weather won't help anyone's mood either if you're used to a fiercely hot desert. Kankuro will be better once he get used to things :D And I tried to get all the information here, so that you know what they know.**

**At first, I imagined Kankuro getting along with Snape, but my story just didn't allow that. Oh well. Speaking of Snape, one reviewer said that it should be Lee and Gai's (or was it just Lee?) mission to make Snape "youthful" and I can only say, that it is a rather good idea. -imagines Snape wearing green jumpsuits, doing 'nice guy' poses, and youth speaking- HOMG!! -falls over and dies laughing-**

**Review, your lives depend on it -creepy Orochimaru voice-**


	8. Day One

**I apologize for the lateness of this chapter. But my muses ran away and I couldn't find them! One of my reviewers (can remember which) wanted a chapter from Hermione, Ron, and Harry's point of view. That was an excellent idea, so I thank you. I get lots of ideas from people who review and I'm still open for suggestions. So thanks! -smiles nerdy-like and waves-**

**Just a random fact: I am one of those people who still cling to the belief that Jiraiya (one of my favorite characters) is still alive. Despite having his arm torn off, being stabbed like six times, getting his throat cut, and drowning. THERE'S STILL HOPE!!**

**Declaimer: **

**Shino: Ninjitsu whatever does not own Naruto, or Harry Potter.**

**Lee: You know you spelled ninjutsu wrong right?**

**Me: Obviously**

Day One

What a weirdo.

Ron spent the entire feast listening to the Rock Lee fellow flirt with Hermione. It was beyond irritating, he kept referring to her as a 'Youthful flower' and a number of other confusing things. They were were ALL weirdos. The jerk dressed all in black that mouthed off to McGonagall, the creepy guy in glasses and stupid jacket that covered the lower half of his face.

Then there was that mysterious newcomer at the staff table.

She appeared to be in her mid or early twenties, and didn't seem to have any sense of etiquette seeing as she ate like a starving child, and had her funny boots on top of the table while Dumbledore made his speech. And her appearance...! Purple hair, it obviously wasn't natural, there wasn't such thing as natural purple hair, unless you were a Metamorphmagus. And what she wore raised questions. She wore a beige (?) trenchcoat over a mesh shirt. The strange lady wore nothing under that.

He listened intently throughout the speech, waiting for Dumbledore to mention her, to tell them what she was there for, what class she was teaching. He listened up to the boring speech that Umbridge gave. When it reached that point, he employed his magical art of tuning out boring speeches. An art that he perfected by living with Percy. God help him if _he_ ever turned out like that. An uptight, pompous, no-good _JERK._

The speech ended suddenly, and Ron blinked. He hadn't taken a word of it in, and was grateful that it was over. Dumbledore stood up and Ron was listening intently again, but three minutes later, there was the loud scraping of benches. The feast was over.

Wondering why Dumbledore didn't make any mention about the mysterious new teacher, Ron stood up, and was pulled out of his surprisingly thoughtful revere by Hermione who told him that they had to perform their prefect duties. Can you believe that? He just wanted to go upstairs and sleep.

He floated along behind Hermione as she began to chatter non-stop about the castle and how to find certain classrooms. In short, she sounded like a tour guide, and Ron decided to just let her go at it. This way, he wouldn't have to do anything.

"-And you go through this curtain to get to this hallway that will lead to a door that pretends it's a wall-" Ron decided to tune her out as well. He just nodded in agreement with whatever she said, trying to make it sound like he too knew what he was doing.

Finally, to his great relief, they came to the portrait of the fat lady. "Okay first years," she said in her bossy Hermione voice, "This is the entrance to the Gryffindor tower, the password is _Mimbulus mimbletonia,_" Ron wondered where she heard this, then remembered that they were told back on the train. Duh.

Ron waited impatiently as the little pip-squeaks clumsily climbed through the portrait hole and into the common room. Once they were in, Ron had to stand and wait, again, as Hermione directed the first years to their dorms. The Weasley thought he saw more then one little titch shuffle from one foot to the other. Obviously Hermione's ongoing speech wasn't just boring him.

She was done, there was a collective sigh of relief as the first years were finally able to go to bed. Ron sighed happily as well and practically crawled up the stairs to his dormitory.

"Leave my mother out of this, Potter!" Was the first thing Ron heard when he walked into the room. "What's going on?" Was naturally the first thing he asked. There appeared to be some kind of row going on between Harry and Seamus. Very rare thing, but then again, Harry's temper had been very easily triggered since last summer.

"He's having a go at my mother!" Seamus yelled, and Ron gave him a disbelieving look, "What? Harry wouldn't do that, we met your mother, we liked her..." To which Harry responded loudly: "That's before she started believing every word the stinking _Daily Prophet _writes about me!"

"Oh," Ron said, starting to understand what was going on here, "Oh... right..." There was other things he could have done to defuse the situation, but the Weasley couldn't think of any. Harry was already having a bad school year and it hadn't even started yet.

"You know what?" Snarled Seamus, giving Harry a look that would probably curdle milk, "He's right, I don't want to share a dormitory with him any more, he's mad." Though not the most observant person in the world, this kind of gave Ron insight on the argument before he entered.

"That's out of order, Seamus," said Ron, feeling righteous anger on behalf of his best friend. "Out of order am I?" Shouted Seamus as his face paled in anger, "You believe all the rubbish he's come out with about You know who, do you reckon he's telling the truth?"

"Yeah I do!" Ron snarled in perfect honesty. He truly did not believe that Harry would ever lie about something such as the return of You-know-who. "Then you're mad, too." Seamus said in disgust. "Yeah? Well unfortunately for you pal, I'm also a prefect!" Ron was actually taking control of the situation, "So unless you want detention, watch you're mouth!" His roommate looked like he would have loved to say something else, but to Ron's relief, he backed down.

"Anyone else's parents got a problem with Harry?" He asked aggressively, feeling strangely pleased with himself.

"What is the problem here?"

Everyone in the room turned and saw their new green-clad roommate with his stupid haircut, standing in front of the door. When no one said anything, Rock Lee walked forwards and sat down on the only unoccupied bed. "The aura of this room is very unyouthful," He said seriously, "Will someone please tell me the reason for this damage upon my youthful soul? Whilst we are in our springtime of our youth, we should not spend this precious and beautiful time using angry and hurtful words that drive us towards the winters of sorrow!" He spoke each word with passion. Ron couldn't honestly believe this guy. Springtime of youth? Winters of sorrow? What the hell is he on?

"Just... an argument." Harry finally said, not looking at Seamus, who in turn, wasn't looking at him. Rock frowned. "Arguments are unyouthful and a waste of time." A smile appeared on his face (with those massive eyebrows and freakily wide eyes) so suddenly it alarmed them all.

"I know just the thing to bring back your youthful soul!" He dived for his trunk and opened it to reveal the most neat and organized trunk that Ron had ever laid eyes on, and he lived (use to) with Percy. The other occupants of the room exchanged confused glances, but didn't dare say anything. A few seconds later he pulled out a string instrument and held it out for them to see in his bandaged hand. "I will sing a youthful ballad!" The freak proclaimed with a blinding smile and a thumbs up. He winked too, which was creepy.

He sat down and positioned his fingers on the strings. "This is one that my Gai-sensei taught me..."

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Hermione went down to breakfast to find both of her friends sitting with a traumatized look on both of their faces. She couldn't help but notice the same look mirrored on their other dorm-mates faces. She wondered what had happened.

"What's going on?" Hermione asked, sitting next to Ron, who was staring at his eggs as though he was expecting them to jumping up and try to eat his eyes. She got an inaudible response from both of them. "What's going on?" She asked, more firmly this time. This time, Ron spoke a little louder, "Last night... argument..." he stammered, rocking slightly. She waited, "Then... then... _he_ comes in... we were unyouthful... so he sang us a youthful song... to make us see the springtime of youth..." Alarmed, she looked around at Harry, who was nodding frantically.

"You're exaggerating." Hermione said with a sniff, "Lee couldn't possibly be that bad a singer." Neither responded. She sighed, "So where is he now?" Harry shrugged, "He was gone when we woke up." _Thank god_ were the words unsaid.

They had a normal breakfast, during which the boys had returned back to normal. Or as normal as either of them ever could be. Around eight, three unusual figures strolled through the doors. Or rather, the large fellow Kankuro, strutted through the doorway as though he owned the place, Lee was skipping (and looking perfectly harmless) and Shino glided in, his face with all the expression of a granite slab. They all paused and leaned towards each other and quietly jabbered in their language, before separating towards their respective tables. Kankuro knocked into a few people, and Hermione was scandalized when he didn't stop and apologize.

Shino went and sat down at the Ravenclaw table, away from the other Ravenclaws. And Lee? He bounced towards them and threw himself in a chair beside Ron, who stiffened. Lee didn't notice, he instead dived for some sausages. He piled them onto his plate and began to eat ravenously. "Hi Lee," Hermione said, looking at him carefully. He looked up and guiltily swallowed his food, "Forgive me," he said quickly, "I am hungry, but that is no excuse to ignore an intelligent and beautiful cherry blossom such as yourself," Hermione blushed and giggled. As flattered as she was, she had never heard of an intelligent cherry blossom before and thought that it was rather silly.

Nobody saw Ron scowl.

"Where were you just now?" She asked, smiling. What were Harry and Ron so worked up about? This boy wouldn't hurt a fly. The ever youthful Lee paused as he considered her question. "I was... merely out on a stroll around your youthful castle grounds."

"With Kankuro and Shino?" She couldn't imagine why he would choose those two as strolling partners. "Yes, they are my... friends." Hermione frowned, "You're fri-" She was cut off, "So my cherry blossom, I would like to know about the subjects we're having today..." Hermione was surprised and a little suspicious of the sudden change in subject. But complied and began to outline Lee's day when his timetable came around. She ended up telling him to just follow Harry around. Lee's day was exactly the same as his. Which didn't strike her as odd until much later.

oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

History of Magic passed in its typical form. Everyone went into some kind of tupor while Hermione managed to stay awake to take notes. The only difference was that she was not the only one that had managed to resist the urge to fall asleep herself. Lee was also taking notes (in Japanese) and was listening intently with great enthusiasm to whatever Professor Binns was saying. Maybe Ron and Harry were right, there was something strange about him.

When the class was over, Lee made loud, youthful comments about their fascinating history. Much to the groans of most of the people exiting the classroom. "What planet is this guy from?" One guy whispered to the other. "I don't know, I just hope there aren't more freaks like him," **((If only you knew, poor, poor people of Hogwarts)) **Hermione thought that that comment was far too harsh and unfair. Lee just happened to show more interest in learning then any of them did.

It was in Potions that they became more acquainted with Kankuro, the new student in Slytherin.

When the four of them (Lee trailed behind them happily) reached the door to the dungeons, they saw the Slytherins already there. They appeared to be crowding around Kankuro as they listened intently to whatever he was saying. Whatever he said must have struck them as funny because they all burst out laughing. It was interesting to note that Draco, who was usually in the center of all that, was now slightly shuffled off to the side. But still in the center circle.

When the Gryffindors approached, the Slytherins stopped laughing and gave them looks of loathing, which were wholeheartedly returned. Kankuro and Lee raised their hands in a vague greeting to each other. The doors suddenly opened, and the students flooded in to their regular places. The Slytherins were loudly encouraging Kankuro to sit beside them, but shocked them all when he went and set up his cauldron right beside Lee's. Slytherins and Gryffindors were not suppose to be friendly in any way with each other, it went against the laws of the universe.

Hermione's hand twitched slightly towards her wand. Kankuro and Lee were speaking rapid Japanese to each other and she wanted to know what they were saying. She knew the perfect translation spell for the occasion. But that would be intrusive, they were obviously speaking their language so others couldn't hear.

All thoughts of using any spell left her mind when the Potions Master entered the room. The room went instantly silent. Even Kankuro shut up. After a short speech, and a flick of his wand, the instructions were on the board, and it was time to go. The Draught of Peace was not an easy potion, just by looking at the instructions this was apparent, but Hermione had complete confidence in herself.

She moved steadily through the steps, and was surprised when Kankuro moved steadily with her. In fact, he moved faster. His large, clever fingers getting the ingredients prepared before her put him ahead of her slightly. SLIGHTLY. He chopped and cut things without any fear whatsoever for his fingers, and was absolutely sure of his movements. Lee moved with equal efficiency, but took a far longer time deciphering the instructions on the board.

"Kankuro," Hermione said bravely as he was measuring out his powdered moonstones, "When Dumbledore gave his speech during the feast, he didn't say where you, Lee, or Shino are exchange students from." Kankuro shrugged, "So?" He asked, unconcerned. Hermione scowled, "What I wanted to know was where did you come from." Kankuro glanced at Lee, "Well our youthful friend here and I come from completely different places." She waited for Kankuro to elaborate on that, when he didn't say anything, she pressed on, "What places?" It was Lee who answered, "He comes from the desert, I from the forest."

Hermione was getting frustrated, neither were being very specific, "That tells what environment you're from, but not-"

"Sorry to interrupt your little conversation," A silky voice came from over her shoulder, "You can flirt with the foreign students on your own time Granger. Now, class is in session. Ten points from Gryffindor." Hermione fumed as Snape glided away. So much she almost put the moonstone in before the mandrake leaves. What a disaster that would have been!

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Harry walked away from McGonagall's office, his anger abated slightly. Needless to say, his first day back wasn't much of a success.

"By the sound of it, you have quite a lot of repressed anger." A calm, even voice drifted out of a shadow of a suit of armor. Harry stopped and saw the foreign student, Shino Aburame, standing in front of a picture of a couple drunken hags. He was wearing the exact same outfit he was wearing that he arrived in. In fact, come to think of it, all three of them wore the same outfit they came to Hogwarts in. Harry wondered why none of them wore Hogwarts robes.

"Well..." Harry couldn't think of a thing to say to this stranger. "Why aren't you in class?" He said at last, unable to think of anything else. Shino shrugged, "I was excused." What was so creepy about this was that he didn't seem to move when he spoke. Harry couldn't see his mouth move because of the collar. The shrug was the only movement he made since the start of the conversation. The foreign student made all the movements as the suit of armor he was standing beside.

Harry changed his mind when the head of the armor swung its head towards them, then swung it back. The foreign made _less_ movement then the suit of armor he was standing beside. "We're you listening?" Harry asked, indicating to the DADA door at the end of the hall. This seemed kind of stupid, seeing as Shino was leaning here, and the door was all the way down there... But then again, he could have moved away while Umbridge was writing his note.

"Yes. Unintentionally."

"Uh... So... I have to go to McGonagall's..."

"And I must go to Professor Flitwick's office."

"Do... Do you know where that is?"

"Yes."

"Um, okay then."

He turned to go, he went a few paces when he heard footsteps behind him. Unnerved, he turned and saw Shino walking up beside him. "Flitwick's office is past McGonagall's." With those weird round sunglasses the foreigner wore it was difficult to tell where he was looking. It gave him a kinda of an intense look. Especially the way the light from the nearest window glinted off it.

"I guess that means we're walking together then?"

"It does."

Harry wasn't sure, but he thought he saw something scuttle across Shino's face.

oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

"So, what do you guys think of the new students?" Harry asked dully after being chewed out by his new Quidditch captain. Hermione stuck a forkfull of mashed potatoes in her mouth and chewed thoughtfully before answering. "Well, I like Lee a lot." Again, no one noticed Ron scowl, "He's more enthusiastic then most of Hogwarts put together. He's certainly the most poetic." Ron let out a huff. "Yeah, I bet you _love_ having him call you a beautiful apple blossom, or whatever the rubbish he sprouts is."

"He does NOT sprout rubbish!" Hermione said indigently. "Everything he says is straight from the heart! Which is more then I can say for you," She ended nastily. Ron let out another huff, "Well... I bet he can't play sports! That poetic pansy probably couldn't play a tough game like Quidditch if his youthful life depended on it!"

Harry decided to intervene before this became a full out argument. "What about the other two? Shino and Kankuro." They glared at each other for a few more seconds, before shimmering down to answer his question.

"Well, that Kankuro is... Unyouthful," She said, shooting a glare at Ron, he turned away in disgust. "He's a bully, he prays on the weak, he thinks he's better then everyone... In short, a typical Slytherin."

"I bet you just don't like him because he made the Draught of Peace better and faster then you did." Ron said. This hit a nerve. Hermione stiffened. "For your information, I didn't like him _before_ the potions class! And besides, he only finished three _minutes_ before I did!" She then picked up her fork again and stuck some steak into her mouth.

"And as for Shino... Well, I don't know much about him. When you watch him at the Ravenclaw table, he doesn't talk much. I think he only talks when he asks questions about our school and Dumbledore..."

"Wait!" Ron said, then he lowered his voice to a whisper, "Maybe Aburame is one of Umbridge's spies!" Harry looked at him skeptically, "Umbridge's spy?" Ron nodded, "Yeah, if he's asking questions about Hogwarts and Dumbledore, he must be a spy! He's gathering information right? Maybe he's reporting to the Ministry!"

Hermione shook her head, "Or maybe he's just curious about our school and our Headmaster. He is foreign after all." Harry had to agree. As weird as Shino was, the idea of him being a spy was very far-fetched.

"I wonder where they went." Harry said vaguely looking around. "They were late for breakfast too." The three foreign students had disappeared after classes, and no one had seen them since.

"Maybe they're reporting to Umbridge." Ron said shrewdly, unaware that said teacher was at the teachers table daintily eating some peas. "They all have shifty looks about them, especially that Lee character." Harry personally thought that Rock Lee was the least shifty looking one of the trio.

At that moment, the three entered the Great Hall, and split to their respective tables without conversation.

"Good evening my youthful friends!" Lee said cheerfully, "Shino, Kankuro and I were just out exploring the grounds, quite a large and absolutely beautiful one it is!" Harry wondered if Lee was capable of speak in sentences that didn't end with an exclamation mark.

"But it's raining out," Hermione said, looking up at the enchanted ceiling in puzzlement, "couldn't you have waited for a better day to explore?" Lee nodded, "We could have, but full of youthful enthusiasm as we are, we decided to check it out anyway!" At that, he quickly scooped a large dollop of mashed potatoes onto his plate, along with a little of everything else.

Harry stayed quiet. The last thing he wanted to do was say something unyouthful and encouraged the strange boy to sing another ballad. And since Harry wouldn't put it past him to run to the dormitory and bring his instrument to the Great Hall to sing. If that were to happen, Hogwarts would suffer massive casualties.

"Hey Lee," Harry said when he was sure what he was about to say wasn't going to be considered unyouthful, "What do you know about that new teacher, Dumbledore didn't tell us her name, or what she teaches during the speech." Said teacher was up at the table chatting cheerfully to Snape, who was clearly ignoring her.

Lee looked up at him in surprise, "Why do you assume that I know her?" Harry shrugged, "I just thought you might, she wears the same symbol as you do." Harry made a gesture to Lee's belt. The same strange, swirly symbol he wore there was exactly the same as the one the one the purple haired women wore on her forehead.

Lee slowly put his fork down, "That means she's from the same village as I," He said slowly, "This symbol," He tapped his belt, "Is a leaf symbol." Lee turned and pointed vaguely at Kankuro at the Slytherin table, "The hourglass on Kankuro's forehead means that he's from the desert."

Hermione frowned, "So, do you know her if she's from your village?"

"Do you know everyone in Hogwarts?" Lee asked. They all shook their heads, "I do not know everyone in my village." He returned to his meal.

"So how do you like the teachers at Hogwarts? Are they any different from the ones back home?" Lee shook his head vigorously, "No! No teacher can ever measure up to my wonderful and supremely youthful teacher Gai-sensei!" He seemed to dare anyone to say different. "And that teacher, Severus Snape, is most bitter and unyouthful. Almost as much as Kankuro! I am going to try to get him to see the full beauty of the Springtime of Youth!" He then fell into a thoughtful silence. Ron and Harry shared nervous glances, but said nothing. What if what they said was unyouthful?

**Oh no! Lee seems to be taking over my story! I will have to devote my next chapter to Kankuro to even things out**

**But on the other hand, we now know how Gai managed to brainwash poor innocent (and unsuspecting) Lee. And we now also know a little bit about Gai's youthfully evil plan to take over the world... with youthfulness!!**

**I realize now that I forgot to include Anko in Dumbledore's speech, and in Harry's timetable. But I'm trying to work around that. I could just repost the chapter. But... eh...**

**This vague Hermione/Lee pairing came completely out of nowhere! I swear. But still, who doesn't like a good triangle? Of course, there's no guarantee that that this pairing will stay a pairing...**

**Review please. My self esteem depends on it :P**


	9. Traumatized

**-ahem- I'm so sorry for the wait... the long wait... but... um... -pulls out list of excuses- I've been busy! (has no personal or work life to speak of) Uhh... Tragedy! (no one noteworthy has died in the past two months) Uninspired! (Yet she wrote this in three hours) Writers Block! (... Plausible...)**

**Who has read the recent Naruto Manga? Masashi Kishimoto is singularly THE most EVIL person in the world. How could he kill... kill... -breaks down into sobs-**

**I know this is short, but it is really the best I can do. Enjoy!**

**Declaimer: Hmmm... well... you see... I don't own Naruto... I know, shocking isn't it?**

**Traumatized **

When Ron woke up the next morning, he didn't get out of bed immediately. He just lay there and listened to the morning sounds. After a while, he became aware that he couldn't hear the breathing of the other boys who lived there. Sitting up, he pushed aside his curtain and got up to get changed. It looked like everyone had already gone down to breakfast. How late was it?

Shrugging, Ron ran his hand through his bright red hair. Halfway through it, he stopped. Something didn't feel right.

He ran over to the mirror and took a good look at his head. Letting out a yell of shock, he stumbled back as he stared in horror at his reflection. Instead of his usual messy do, he had a bowl cut! But that wasn't the worst of it. Ron wasn't wearing his usual pajamas. He was wearing a tight, green jumpsuit!! Complete with orange legwarmers, vest, bandages, and belt.

Yelling again, he dived for his trunk and threw it opened. Instead of the usual array of clothes that his mother had packed him two days earlier, there was... More jumpsuits! More legwarmers! Lots of bandages!

Ron was taller then most of his classmates, but he threw himself at their trunks to borrow their robes. His own were to short for him anyhow. When he opened Seamus', he let out another scream. This one looked exactly like those outfits that freak wore! Harry, Neville, Dean... They all had them!!!

Turning, he ran full pelt out of the room, down the stairs, and out past the Fat Lady.

"What's the rush?"

Ron spun around, and could only make gasping noises. The Fat Lady was wearing a green jumpsuit. He shook himself and then fled waving his arms wildly. As he ran, the pictures on the walls waved cheerfully at him and was shouting nightmarish things at him. Most of them having something to do with springtime.

It was a hallway of youth.

He reached the Grand Hall and entered at top speed. And stopped when he realized that his worst fears had come true.

Every single person in the room wore the clothing of youth.

"Well it is about time you got here Ronald!" Ron turned slowly around and saw Hermione. Her bushy hair somehow tamed into that ridiculous bowl cut haircut. "You know you shouldn't sleep in so late." This came from behind him, he whirled and saw Harry standing behind. No prizes for guessing what he was wearing.

"Yes, if you sleep in, your youth will pass you by," This time, everyone seemed to say this at exactly the same time. Every student and teacher (Snape included) in Hogwarts were suddenly closing in on him. They were chanting.

"Youth. YOUTH. **YOUTH.**"

Ron started screaming like a banshee.

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Lee had just gotten up and was getting dressed when Ronald Weasly started screaming.

Shocked at the tone, Lee ran over to his bed and threw open the curtains. Ron continued screaming. Kami, by the sounds of that scream you would think that he was watching his sister getting tortured.

Reaching over, Lee began to shake the redhead frantically. "Ron! Ron! Wake up! It is just a nightmare!" Ron would not have taken any comfort in that even if he was able to understand him. Lee was unconsciously speaking his native language.

Harry, Neville, Seamus, and Dean all crowded around and watched fearfully. Finally Ron got control over himself and calmed down. Still breathing heavily he accepted a glass of water Harry offered him.

"What did you dream about to make you scream like that?" Dean asked in fascination. "I-It must of have been really bad." Neville said timidly. Ron just shook his head, not making eye contact with any of them.

Lee finished dressing and slipped quietly out of the room, Ronald's friends were there and he had someplace to be. The young green beast was swift, making it out of the castle in less then three minutes, not one person (or painting, or suit of armor...) saw him pass by. He arrived on the grounds just as a few golden rays of light crept across the school grounds.

He quickly moved to the training grounds they had chosen. It was deep within the Forbidden Forest, but not so close to the giant spiders that the eight-legged monsters would interrupt their training. There were also the centaurs to consider. The first time the three of them explored the forest, they were unexpectedly caught in a rain of arrows. They only received minor injuries, but were more cautious around certain areas of the forest then others.

Lee skipped over streams and jumped to avoid thorn bushes. By the time he got there, the other two had already begun their training. The youthful green beast yawned and began to do his warm ups.

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

Kevin, a first year Gryffindor was walking down a slightly darkened hall with his two friends, Sheila and Oddy. It was their second day of classes and all three of them were relieved that their first day wasn't as bad as their older siblings had told them it was.

"Man Transfiguration is hard!" Sheila moaned, looking at her homework planner, "I can't believe she's expecting us to do work! We've only been here two days!" Oddy (Real name: Arnold) shook his head slightly, "This is a school, our parents didn't pay for us to be here to play gobstones." Kevin nudged him playfully, "Don't be so serious! I swear, I've never heard you laugh before."

"There isn't always something to laugh about."

Sheila scowled at him, "Being around you is so depressing, I don't know wh- AIEEEEEEEE!!!!" She screamed as a _thing_ fell from the ceiling in front of them. Kevin let out a horrified gasp and stumbled backwards into Oddy, who was stiff with shock. The _thing_ was hidden in the shadows of the darkened corridor and was shrouded in a black cape. It moved slowly towards them, its arms creaking every time they swayed. It stopped for a moment and they were able to see that it had three eyes. Kevin's mind was numb with fear. Then it flew at them with incredible speed.

All three of them turned tail and ran away screaming, leaving whatever they were holding behind on the ground in front of the wooden monster. The trio ran away so quickly, they didn't hear a black clad figure howling in helpless laughter on the ceiling.

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Another day passed, and Kankuro only had to bring up the look on those brats faces to give himself a good chuckle. Both Lee and Shino had asked him why he was in a good mood. He had just shrugged and changed the subject.

And now, P.E. As it turned out, Gryffindors and Slytherins took this class together, Kankuro didn't know why it wasn't on the timetable. Probably had something to do with a certain forgetful and thickheaded Author(ess).

The puppet master had been here two days already, and hadn't needed anyone to tell him about the rivalry between his house and Lee's. It was so obvious, his "friends" always acted horrified whenever he spoke to Lee. And Malfoy would immediately question his loyalties. Hmph, first they were enemies, then they were friends, then they were enemies again. This guy was a natural born politician. And a back-stabber. But then again, how were they different?

Kankuro and his questionable entourage arrived in the very large room that would serve as the physical education class for the next year. Kankuro didn't even know why he, or Lee, even had to take this class. The two of them alone were more physically fit then all seven hundred students combined together.

The class sat down on a few mats on the floor. Gryffindors on one side, Slytherins on the other.

The puppet master had wondered about the Leaf jonin that had been sitting at the staff table on the night of their arrival, but he never seemed to find her when he looked for her. He had asked both Shino and Lee about her, and it turned out that they had no idea that she was going to be there. Then again, they could know and were lying. Why would the old coot hire them all separately?

Suddenly the door opened with a bang, and in marched the Leaf Jonin.

The purple haired kunoichi walked up to the front of the classroom and then whirled around to face them. She glared at them for a moment before shouting "Alright Maggots! All you useless sacks of meat on your feet!" Everyone immediately jumped up in fright. Kankuro got up more slowly, grinning. Oh this will be fun...

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Hermione was absolutely appalled by her. First of all, the clothes she wore were completely indecent! She had a mesh shirt on, nothing beneath! Nothing! You could see her stomach and the area between the breasts. Both which were mercifully covered by that odd trenchcoat. Second was she had called them maggots! They were in a school- a dignified school- not a military camp!

This women had purple hair- which seemed natural somehow- and kept it out of her eyes with a headband similar to Lee's. The author(ess) is going to assume her eyes are brown, because she can't remember.

"Form a line!" She barked, "Hurry, and I won't gut you," She grinned evilly and pulled out a oddly shaped knife. Everyone stumbled over each other as they hastily formed a line along the back of the room. She started on the left and slowly moved her way up the line. Stopping at each person, she peered at the with an intense look that made them shiver in fear. The brash women passed Lee without comment. Harry was one of the few who tried to glare back. He failed, but at least he tried.

At last, their P.E teacher came to her. Hermione raised her eyes and stared into the merciless black ones with unflinching determination. This lasted all of three seconds. Hermione was unable to look any longer and lowered her gaze to the floor. A smirk played at the corner of the older women's face as she moved on to the remaining five. Ron didn't last as long as Hermione did. Neither did Lavender. Kankuro gave her a bored look. Like Lee, he wasn't terribly affected.

When she was finished, the women moved to the front of the room again and spoke; "My name is Mitarashi Anko. I will be your tormentor... I mean your teacher for the next few months," She leered at them before using the weird knife to nick herself on the finger. Professor Anko watched the blood flow down her finger for a few minutes. The students shuffled their feet and looked uneasily at each other. Hermione was more scandlized then before. What was Dumbledore thinking hiring this savage for their teacher?

"Anyway," Anko said, snapping back to reality, "Since this is our first class together, I want us to have some fun!" The grin on her face suggested that this wasn't going to be the kind of "fun" they were used to having. A sudden sense of pending doom hung over them.

"So," she said with a suspicious cheerfulness, "We're going to go on a little frolic on the grounds." She smiled innocently at them. There was a pause, before one student mustered up the courage to ask: "Where on the grounds?" Anko laughed and twirled slightly. "I think that the Forbidden Forest would be a _excellent_ place to start! And hopefully some of you annoying brats will die, it'll make my job easier... I mean... we're gonna go on a happy forest hike with lots of cute furry animals... yeah... that's it... so go ahead and sign these." Anko cheerfully picked up a large stack of papers and began to hand them out to stunned fifth years.

When none of them made a move, Anko's demeanor changed instantly "Sign... the... forms..." The words were so dark and menacing that more then one person dived at their bags to grab their quill. Hermione didn't dive, but she did move quickly. She did manage to note that none of the three foreigners seemed as rattled by this brutal women as the rest of them. They too signed the forms.

Five minutes later Anko had her forms and was cheerful again, "Thank you for signing!" Smiles, "Now, if any of you die, I won't be held responsible!" There was another horrified silence.

"What?!" Someone cried out. Anko smiled at him, "Darwins law of natural selection, kid, Darwins law of natural selection. Only the strongest survive so we're gonna let the weaker ones die off before we start on the actual lessons!"

Is... this... physco... for real?!?

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All the fifth years that day in Slytherin and Gryffindor houses sat in the Great hall in a traumatize silence. When anyone tried to speak with any of them, all they got was a terrified squeak instead of answers. None of them ate. None of them spoke. A few faces were twisted in silent screams. That class was the last one of the day, and was also the day when they all lost their innocence.

With exception to two of the students that took part. Kankuro and Lee (who had lost their innocence long before this point) made sure to separate themselves from the general area, and worked on making sure that no one got eaten, stabbed, gutted, or worse. There had been many close calls, but at least no one died.

When the bell rang, two lines of zombies filed out of the forest and into the Great Hall. Followed by an enthusiastic Anko. When asked about the state of her students, she cheerfully replied that she gave them their first very important lesson in life. No one dared to elaborate on that.

"I'm sure they'll be back to normal in a couple of days," She commented, savoring some veal, "If not... well..." She shrugged.

Down at the Gryffindor table, Harry managed one coherent thought.

_Freaks from the Leaf village are __**EVIL**__._

**Yeah... like I said: Short. But hopefully it's good. I must thank the reviewer who gave me that excellent idea on how to portray Anko, admittedly, that is what stumped me the most. And don't worry Wolf### (—— This is from memory, which is terrible so don't be upset I didn't remeber the number... or if it was wolf or wolfie...) Your plea did not fall on deaf ears! It was mostly because of that I kick started myself into typing. Thank you -hugs-**

**Anyway, review! And suggestions would be wonderful, as you can tell, I put great stock in them.**


	10. The Weakend

**Thank you Nemrut for your review. I shall acknowledge this here because it is full of good points.**

** always worried me, I wasn't actually sure if I was doing Lee or Kankuro right. **

** is a Chunin in this story.**

**3.I have read other Harry/Naruto Xovers and it didn't occur to me to make them dress in robes. Even though they did get some DX**

** story really wasn't solely suppose to be humorous, I had made a plot. Except I left it alone too long and I forgot what it was, so I wrote a couple of slightly crack chapters to compensate for that. I didn't even write my plot down DX. But I made up new, better one, and wrote it down this time! So it'll be a little more serious from now on.**

**5. And as for Lee, I'll be sure to make him a little less annoying :P**

**Declaimer: I don't own Kankuro, Shino, Lee, Anko, Gai, the Leaf Village, the Sand Village, or any of the Narutoverse at all. Nor do I own Harry, Hermione, Ron, Seamus, Neville, Dumbledore, Umbridge, Dean, Parvarti or any of the Harryverse either.**

The Weekend

Days passed and many of the Hogwarts students dealt with their trauma by telling themselves that it never happened. This will undoubtedly effect them later in life. But who cares about them.

Shino woke just before dawn. As he had grown accustomed to doing since his arrival here. Hiding the fact that he was a shinobi was not as difficult as he had originally thought. Most of the students here were more concerned about about their homework then they were about him. It was Saturday, and at this point, most of the Ravenclaws had found him weird, or creepy, and had started to avoid him. The Aburame was accustomed to this too. Though it didn't make it any more pleasant. Already he was beginning to miss his teammates and sensei.

He changed out of his pajamas and pulled on his coat. His glasses were, of course, on and his headband was in place. Leaving his slumbering roommates, he decended from the dormitories into the common room, where he passed the statue to the door that was the entrance/exit to the tower.

Reaching the Entrance hall, he had to wait a moment for Kankuro to come up from the Dungeons. Shino's kikaichu beetles alerted him when he did, the Sand ninja came up yawning slightly, and straighting his hat. They acknowledged each other with small nods and headed out the large oak doors. Both of them knew better then to wait for Lee, he was either already out there or he'll join them soon.

Neither of them said a word to the other as they headed for their training grounds that was located deep in the Forbidden Forest. They hadn't reached a point where they _could_ have casual conversation, they were still two shinobi from two different villages. When they did speak to each other, it was queries about whether they should move the training grounds deeper into the forest, and such.

Lee wasn't there, so Kankuro set himself up on one side of the clearing, while Shino practiced in the other. They never sparred together, Shino wasn't completely sure he wanted to train with someone who, and his siblings, were indirectly responsible for the death of the Third Hokage.

"_Why are you alone young one?" _

_Nine year old Shino looked up at the lined face of the Third Hokage. Startled that someone so important would care._

_He shrugged._

"_Well, why aren't you playing with the other boys?" The two of them stood at the edge of a large field, on which many of Shino's classmates playing an enthusiastic game of soccer. The young Aburame had been standing there for the past few minutes watching them without expression._

"_They don't want me to play with them." The Hokage put a gentle hand on one of Shino's narrow shoulders. "Have you asked them?" Unused to concern from adults from outside of his clan, Shino shifted uncomfortably. _

"_No."_

_The Hokage mulled over this for a moment, "Come with me Shino." The Aburame was even more startled that the Hokage would know who he was. He wasn't even important yet. _

_Having nothing else to do, he followed the Hokage through the forest._

"Shino?"

He blinked and realized he must of zoned out while staring at the log he was suppose to be focusing on. Turning his head slightly, he realized that Rock Lee had arrived, and was looking at him with some concern.

"Yes?"

"Uh... well, you have been staring at that log since I got here..."

"..."

"Duuude, you make it sound like Aburame doin' something weird is unusual," Snickered Kankuro from across the grounds. Lee frowned at him, but Shino didn't move a facial muscle. Not like he expected anything else from the Sand nin.

They continued their training for a little while longer, until it was time to go get breakfast.

"Hold on."

Kankuro and Lee stopped as they were about to exit the grounds.

"What is it?" Lee asked, looking at Shino with a puzzled expression.

"When we went to Diagon Alley, we got robes to use while we were at Hogwarts. We should wear them from now on."

"Why?"

"Because one of the Author(ess)'s reviewers pointed out that we should be trying to blend in, not stick out. From now on, after training and before we go for breakfast, we should change into the school uniform." Kankuro shrugged, "Makes sense, but everyone has accepted our garb so far. Besides, I want to keep my facepaints and my hat." Shino wondered why anyone would want to keep a kitty hat, but said nothing.

"That is an excellent plan Shino!" Lee exclaimed, giving Shino a "nice guy" pose.

"It's settled then."

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Kankuro moved awkwardly into the Great Hall. He had finally put on his robes that had been collecting dust for the past week inside his trunk. They fit well, but he couldn't get past the fact that it felt more like a dress then anything else. It took one look in the mirror to confirm that his bunraku hat made him look ridiculous. So he abandoned it, but kept his facepaints. He disliked looking in the mirror and seeing his father look back.

He kept his puppets. After all, they might get attacked, then where would he be? That was his excuse anyway if Shino decided to grill him about it. He always felt powerless without them. Actually he _was_ powerless without them. A Puppeteer's strength was judged by his puppets after all.

When he met Shino and Lee outside the Great Hall, they too wore their dre- ahem - Robes. And Kankuro was relieved to see that they looked every bit as uncomfortable in them as he did. Like him, they kept their headbands, Lee kept his around his waist.

Shino nodded shortly at him, before leading the way into the hall. Kankuro snorted slightly and followed. In some ways, Shino was about as talkative as Gaara. And Kankuro wasn't really under the impression that the Aburame liked him very much. He really couldn't see why. Was it because he and fellow Sand shinobi invaded their village and unwittingly aided that snake Orochimaru in killing the Third Hokage? Suna had explained the treachery of the death of the fourth Kazekage, and swallowed its pride to surrender to Konoha. And besides, Kankuro and his siblings, Temari and Gaara, had redeemed themselves by going to the rescue of the Leaf Genin. Lee was one of them. Being rescued by Gaara was probably the reason that he didn't have a veiled dislike of the Puppet master.

Kankuro had rescued Kiba the dog-boy. From his limited knowledge, he knew that Kiba happened to be Shino's teammate.

So why...?

He sat down beside Malfoy, who gave him an insincere smile. "So you're hair is brown eh?" Before Kankuro could respond, Malfoy turned around and thrust a silver coin into his neighbors hand. He saw this action repeated by several other students.

_I think I was just a source of a few bets!_

At that moment, the morning owls arrived, bringing their parcels and causing plenty of noise. Conversation ceased while the birds found their perspective clients, delivered their mail, and flew off. A brown owl landed before Kankuro holding out the paper. Tossing a bronze coin into its pouch, he took it and waved the bird away.

He read through the first article at a slower pace then most would. His English had been improving rapidly over the past week. Which was good because he hadn't spoken the language since he was nine, when his father taught it to them. As it were, he could speak the language just fine, the only problem was his literary skills in English. That he had a little difficulty reading made homework a lot harder then it should be. Kankuro often wondered where Shino and Lee's reading skills were at, though he really couldn't bring himself to ask.

Scanning the third page, he came across something of interest.

Glancing up at Shino and Lee, he noticed that the Aburame had already read his paper and it was sitting beside his plate of eggs. That was it too. Kankuro had noticed over the past week that the Leaf Ninja didn't seem to eat that much. Lee, who was still reading his paper with avid interest, had piled everything within reach onto his plate.

If someone had asked him what the one thing he liked about Hogwarts, he would have said the large amounts of food it had at its disposal. It was hard to eat his fill when he had a bossy older sister always telling him not to. He sighed unhappily as he thought about Temari.

It was sad, but the truth was that the longest he and his sister had ever been separated was when he and Gaara went to defend the Land of Wind's borders against those giant metal ships and warriors that attacked villages along the coast. And that was only a month. Before, when Gaara had not put any value into their existence, it was always just the two of them. The two of them against their heartless father, the demon Shukaku, and the rest of the world.

It wasn't just sad, it was kinda pathetic. A Shinobi of the Hidden Sand is expected to be a lot tougher then that. Surely he, the son of the fourth Kazekage and the brother of the Fifth, could deal with a little thing like homesickness.

Still, he wondered how Temari was right now.

"Hey, Kankuro," The Puppet Master looked up at a certain blond in annoyance. Malfoy was looking at him with something he obviously thought was concern. "What?" Kankuro asked, turning his attention back to his food.

"You were spacing out."

"So?"

"..."

Kankuro sighed and got up. Breakfast was done, he had other things to take care of. When he left, he made sure to take the paper along with him.

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"You being a friend can you answer a question for me please?" Hermione looked up in surprise into the wide eyes of her new friend. "Sure Lee, what do you want to know?" They were in the library. It was Saturday, so it was very empty. Lee sat down across from her holding a book titled... actually, she didn't know. She couldn't read Japanese.

"When I came to this wonderful country of yours, I made sure to read some past newspapers to catch up on the current events that take place here in the castle," Hermione nodded, that made sense, "And... well... I found quite a bit about Harry Potter." Hermione nodded wearily. Of course there was. Nothing Harry could help though.

"And in some newspapers dated many years ago, I found plenty of mention of some 'You know who'. But I have yet to find an actual name! There are none in any papers, nor will anyone tell me when I ask them, suppose you can?" Hermione nodded, "To speak his name out loud in the wizarding world is considered taboo. Anyway, his name is-" She lowered her voice and leaned over, "Voldemort." She shivered as though chilled, even though the library was pleasantly warm.

"Voldemort?" Lee asked a little louder then Hermione would like. "Yes, now don't go around saying that out loud, you might cause someone a heart attack." Lee nodded and looked at the ceiling with a thoughtful expression. Hermione took a moment to examine his face. Ron and Harry both said that he was "freaky looking" and she couldn't say that she agreed. With his wide eyes and haircut, he seemed... Charming almost.

"Lee?"

"Hmm?"

"I was wondering..." She played with a page of her book, "Can you teach me... Japanese?" Lee looked surprised, but pleasantly so. "Japanese? Why?" Hermione shrugged, "I like to learn all the things I can, right now I know how to speak French, Spanish, and Greek."

"Can you read and write in those languages?"

"Of course!" Was there any doubt?

"Then yes! How can I say no to such enthusiasm? Although I have never taught anyone how to fluently communicate in my language before... But it shall be an interesting test of my abilities!" He gave her a dazzling smile. "I shall go forth and create a plan for our lessons, if you will excuse me." He bounded out of his chair and was out through the door before Hermione could finish blinking.

"Hey Hermione!" Hermione turned around to see Ron walking quickly towards her. "Did you hear?" He asked excitedly. She sighed, "Hear what Ron? And it better not be mindless gossip, I won't waste my time on it." The redhead looked momentarily startled before shrugging, "Kankuro Sabaku got detention with Umbridge."

"What?" Hermione gasped. Though she didn't know why she was so surprised, it was bound to happened sooner or later. Actually, Hermione was surprised it wasn't sooner.

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_An hour earlier_

"-And do something about that ridiculous make-up!" Umbridge screeched, glaring up at the insolent teen who gazed boredly out the window. The boy was a hoodlum! She had been waiting the entire week to get a hold of this shady character, ever since that disgraceful show of disrespect he had given to the teachers during the Sorting Ceremony. That it took an entire week infuriated her, but Umbridge always got what she wanted in the end.

"Guests" or not, that does not mean these foreigners get to completely ignore school policies! Surely there must be something against slathering your face with senseless designs, and carrying around two enormous objects of unknown purpose. Doloris had demanded to know what they were and what they were for. She was responded to with a careless shrug. When she threatened to confiscate them, Sabaku shook his head and finally told her that he had permission to dress the way he did from Dumbledore.

_Dumbledore_

The core of all her troubles he was, cheerfully throwing up obstacles in her path that she had no choice but to jump. But no matter, she'll take on anything that is thrown her way. The Minister had given her a mission, and she will do whatever it takes to succeed.

"Well then, starting Monday, you will report to me for detention at five o'clock pm understand? You will do this for the whole week, be glad it isn't more."

"Yes ma'am." Was that a look of scorn he had given her?! Was he suggesting that he knew things she didn't?! The nerve of that child! No matter, by the time she was done here troublemakers like this one will be cowed before her, and when that happens, her plan will be the Ultimate success.

"Now be on your way!" When he left, Umbridge stormed in the direction of the Headmaster's office. She had a thing or two to say to him.

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

Dumbledore looked at his door when several authoritive and rather rude knocks sounded from it. Seeing as most of the adults in the castle respected him, there was only one person this could be.

And he was right.

Doloris stalked in, closing the door with a sharp snap, and walked right up to his desk, looking ready to breathe fire. Dumbledore would have laughed if the Ministry women wouldn't have taken serious offence.

"Ah! Professor Umbridge," He said, unruffled by her obvious rage, "And to what do I owe the pleasure?" Her toad-like face was turned down into a heavy scowl. Dumbledore had a pretty good idea as to why she was there. And, as usual, his guess turned out quite right.

Since the Author(ess) is feeling far to lazy to write out Umbridge's ten and a half minute rant, she'll just skip to commercial.

**Feeling unappreciated by peers and family members? Is your perfectly legal, do-gooder job wearing you out? Do you need fulfillment in your life? A chance to find true purpose? If you are any, or all of these things, then the Deatheaters will be happy to take advantage of you! Nothing is more rewarding then working under the Dark Lord. With dental benefits, daycare, flexible hours, and a pension plan, how could you not want to? Please the Lord and never have to worry about financial trouble ever again! Upon joining, you will be given a poisonous cookie to give to whom ever you please! Just remember once you join you are given a lifelong plan, and if you don't follow this plan, then action must be taken.**

**Applicants must:**

**-Be pureblood**

**-Hate muggles**

**-Be willing to throw their life away at the slightest whim of their Lord and Master.**

**-Love snakes**

**-Have an intimate knowledge on harming other living beings, or must be willing to learn.**

**-Those with psychopathic histories will be considered immediately.**

**Please E-Mail your resumes at the following address: **

**Warning: Dangers of this job include: Aurors,werewolves,vampires,giants,lossoflimbs,lossofhair,lossofsanity(ifyouhadhadanywhenyoustarted),torture,imprisonment,snakes,andultimatelydeathtoyouand/oryourlovedones.**

**Don't hesitate, sign up today!**

Breathing heavily, Doloris glared at Dumbledore, who had wisely not said a word throughout the entire rant.

"Well, that was certainly well presented," He said with a smile, "But I must point out that Kankuro is from a far away country, and it would be an insult to his culture if he were to remove his paints. We do our best to make our guests feel more at home." He airily dismissed the spluttering Umbridge and returned to staring at a metal instrument he had in front of him.

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"I don't know..." Sheila whispered to her friends nervously, "It's after our curfew, were gonna be in so much trouble if we're caught out here..." Kevin snickered, "What's the matter Lala? Scared?" She obviously was, she clung to his arm with a death grip. Having a girl hold him for reassurance made him feel very manly. Of course, he himself was still jumping at every moving shadow. That wooden monster wasn't an easy thing to forget.

"We're here, what is the incantation again?" Oddy asked standing infront of a rather ugly statue of a one-eyed witch. His ridiculously black shaggy hair fell in front of his eyes where they always were. Kevin quickly ruffled through his pockets with his free hand, pulling out candy wrappers, note pages and such. Finally, he held out a very old piece of paper that didn't look like it fared all that well crammed in his pocket. Sheila sighed, "I knew we should have let Oddy hold it, we're lucky if we can even read that." Kevin scowled at her pried her fingers off his arm.

"Okay," He said, taking his wand from his back pocket. "According to my grandpapa, we have tap the statue with our wands-"

"What else does he expect us to tap it with?"

"Quiet Oddy! Anyway, we have to tap it and say _Dissendium_." The three of them jumped back in alarm as the hump of the witch slid downwards. For a moment, there was only an astonished silence. Despite finding this secret in Kevin's grandfather's diary, none of them really expected it to work. Now that they know that it does work, what were they going to do?

"Let's go!" Kevin immediately climbed into the hole, it was plenty big enough for him. Oddy came after, closely followed by Sheila. There was a slid, which none of the eleven year olds had expected, and they ended up in a tangled pile at the very bottom.

"Get you foot out of my-!"

"ODDY!!! That's my hair!"

"Kevin, please remove your fingers from my nose please."

It took them a few minutes, but eventually they got themselves sorted out.

"It's so dark!"

"Lumos."

Nothing happened.

Oddy sighed, "Let me try. Lumos." The tip of his wand lit up, bathing the tunnel in a frail light. As it turned out, Sheila's dark face was inches away from the tip of Oddy's wand, she scowled heavily at him and shoved it away.

oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

"This tunnel goes on forever!" Sheila had long since stopped being scared, now she was bored and impatient. Oddy gave no indication of anything, he just plowed ahead with his wand held high. Kevin moved with his typical single-mindedness. "We'll get there, and it'll be worth it!"

"I hope so." Oddy sighed.

"Stairs!" The three of them stopped as Oddy raised his wand in attempt to see where they lead too. No avail. They had gone this far, no sense in turning back now.

Ten minutes later there was a loud thud and a string of curses as Kevin rammed his head hard against the ceiling. "It's blocked," Sheila snarled, "We came all this way and now it's blocked!" Oddy shook his head, "Look." He pointed at a square in the ceiling and pushed it up. There was a loud creaking as a trap door opened, then a small thud as it leaned against something. Cautiously, the three of them climbed out. They seemed to be in a room full of boxes.

"We're in Hogsmade," Kevin said in pure wonder. They weren't allowed to go to Hogsmade until they were in third year. "Kevin!," Sheila gasped, having opened one of the boxes, "Oddy, look!" The two boys walked over to the box she had opened.

Candy! They must be in the famous Honeydukes Chocolate place! Eagerly, they rooted around into some of the other boxes and found treasure more precious then gold. "We have our own unlimited supply of candy." Oddy said, even he sounded happy with their current situation.

"Let's check outside" The blond said, heading towards the stairs leading up to the shop itself. "Are you crazy?" Oddy asked, grabbing his arm. "We'll never be able to get out, and get back in without detection." Kevin shook his head impatiently. "It's _Hogsmade!_ How can we not explore it? Just ten minutes? Please? After applying the puppy dog pout in full force, the other two reluctantly agreed to go along with it. Both well aware that capture meant expulsion.

oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

"So **that's** the Shrieking Shack." Oddy remarked staring at the desolate house in the distance. This was as close as the three of them had the guts to go. They had heard a lot of terrifying stores regarding this house, and it was out of morbid fascination that they were there at all. They had been exploring for three hours now, and it was nearing two in the morning. Tired, yet pleased, they decided to have one last stop before they crept home to bed.

"Let's go home now," Sheila said with an impressive yawn. Even Kevin agreed, there was only so much fun one was capable of having.

As they turned around, Oddy stiffened.

"What is it?" Kevin asked, looking at his lifelong friend with concern. Oddy stood perfectly still, "Someone is watching us." Instantly Kevin and Sheila froze too. Like rabbits that knew there was a wolf nearby. None of the trio had paid attention to it when they started, but they suddenly realized that they were quite alone. All the grown-ups were in Hogsmade, on the other side of the trail.

Hearts racing, the three of them drew closer together, keeping their backs to one another. Oddy's wand hand was trembling, the light coming from his wand made the branches look like they were moving. It was impossible to see beyond the lights that came out of their wands, but Kevin was absolutely sure that someone was out there. They were only at school for a week, not one of them knew any spells that would help them if they got themselves into real trouble.

There was a thud as someone appeared in front of them.

Kevin screamed, "Sheila Oddy look-"

**Cliffhanger ^.^**

**If this chapter seems rushed and slightly random, then it kinda is. I wrote this yesterday, and told myself that I HAD to get it finished so that I could upload it today. I'm only allowed an hour a week on the internet, so... uh, yeah.**

**One of the purposes to this chapter is to correct some of the flaws I made to the characters, or create new ones lol. I always loved reading fanficts about the brother/sister relationship between Kankuro and Temari, it's so sweet ^.^ So I couldn't help but put a little of that in here. I found it remarkable that Kankuro had managed to go so long without receiving detention. In fact he managed to avoid it entirely. Yeah, kinda unrealistic, I know. And, believe it or not, there IS a plot! I know I said this before, but now for SURE!!!**

**Wouldn't it be funny if someone really did have a e-mail address called voldythesupersnakefan ? lol Oh, and I already have half the next chapter written out! If I work hard, I might have it up next week. **

**Review. Suggestions of any kind are welcome. **


	11. Anko vs Ginny and

**Okay, this took a week longer then I anticipated. But hey! At least you didn't have to wait two months for it! This is, like, a month after school starts, but I decided to use flash backs in order to try to keep things in order. And Shino isn't in this chapter. I'll try to factor him heavily in the next chapter. If not, Shino fangirls have my permission to hunt me down and shove me in the insect room. **

**Oh, and one more thing. There has been the odd person who suggested to have some yaoi in this. As much as I would like to -giggles- You have to remember that Shino is 13, Lee is 14, and Kankuro is 15. Shino is a bit to young for such an experience. Sorry.**

**Declaimer: I do not **_smoke_** own Harry Potter or Naruto **_smoke_**. Only J.K Rowling **_smoke_** and Masashi Kishimoto**_are you smoking yet?_

Anko Vs Ginny and Kankuro Vs Umbridge

Wind blew mournfully through the barely alive trees that stood outside a large black tower. Seven stories tall, and a square base that was seventy-seven feet across. The top two floors were perfectly round, and the roof was topped with a tiled cone. Although this rundown building had been there for centuries, very few people ever went there. The land that separated this tower from the nearest Muggle village was extremely treacherous and was filled with many a dangerous creature. Most muggles that enter never come out. The lucky (or unlucky, depending on your point of view) ones that did manage to survive came back gibbering and were put in asylums for the rest of their lives.

Wizards were slightly better off. Though this was seeing as their medical care was considerably better then those muggles that were stupid enough to trek through the ancient forest.

This building was called the Serpents Needle. For very good reason seeing as the outside of the building had clear snake designs ingraved in the walls. And inside if you looked very close at the designs in the floor, you would notice that it was many snakes intertwined with each other in complex and menacing patterns. The colors varied from the darkest green to the darkest purple. Not colors usually associated with each other and considered good taste at the same time, but how it works out is up to the reader's imagination.

Naturally, this place would attract the attention of people of a certain crowd.

The highest point of the building was really a giant room, these were the quarters of the Dark Lord. Very few people were ever invited to come this far. "When will the amulet take its full effect?" The Dark Lord was impatient. And slightly agitated. The other refuse to bow or acknowledge him as his master in any way.

A pair of golden eyes with vertical pupils peered out of the gloom to meet a similar crimson pair, "Patience Voldemort." He smirked. Voldemort didn't give the other the satisfaction of knowing that he needled him, "It has to be on the boy for a full month before it can take its full effect." The voice was smooth, sophisticated, and had a noticeable feminem tone.

"So by tomorrow I will be able to test out my new... _weapon_." Voldemort savored the thought. Never before had he ever successfully enslaved a shinobi. The golden eyes glittered with amusment and the other's mouth curled into a cruel smile, exposing his fangs. "Well aren't _you_ a sharp one?" His tone was mocking, and Voldemort's eyes narrowed. No one else would dare talk to him in such manner.

"Be warned Orochimaru, it is you who wants something from me. I might not be consented to give it if you continue with this insolent matter." Voldemort was ten years older then the other snake.

Orochimaru gave a dark chuckle. "Yes, but you _need_ something from me. Don't assume yourself my master." They glared at each other, but fell into silence.

The other man was slighter in build then he was, and had this annoying tendency to lean against things. Orochimaru's features were more human-like then his was. He had a regular shaped nose and a long silky mane of hair. The other's slightly feminem facial features and loose clothing had caused a few of Voldemort's followers to mistake the other snake as a women. They were quickly corrected.

There was a polite knock at the door, before it opened. Voldemort was about to snarl at whoever was at the door when he realized that it wasn't his. "Lord Orochimaru." The young grey haired boy moved forwards into the room and bowed slightly to his master. Voldemort was completely ignored.

"I recall saying that no one was to enter my chambers." Voldemort said, his own smooth voice held a hint of malice. The boy glanced at him insolently. "Yes, I know, but I have important news. It couldn't wait." He pushed his glasses up before turning back to Orochimaru. Before he could speak, however, there was another knock on the door, this one more frantic. After a moment, it burst open and Wormtail tumbled in. Picking himself off the ground while muttering apologies, he quickly scrambled over to Voldemort.

"My Lord! I have some-" He was interrupted by Orochimaru's assistant. "There's no need for you to be here. I was just about to tell them, go crawl back into the sewers where you came from." Wormtail gasped and began gibbering.

"Speak Kabuto," Orochimaru said simply. Kabuto nodded, "The amulet is ready. And the boy has let his guard down, he has just been sighted going beyond Hogwarts boundaries." Wormtail had not understood a word of this, given that it was spoken in Japanese. Voldemort being the genius he was, had mastered this language decades ago.

"What is the status of the shinobi in Hogwarts?"

"Anko is still teaching, and has sent ten of her students to the hospital. Obviously these wizards are stronger then we thought. The Aburame his always sending his bugs through the forest and the castle. He is our biggest threat to discovering the spies we have set up. The Rock Lee character spends his time doing work of some kind. And the Sabaku... is bored." Kabuto shrugged.

Orochimaru considered this. "It is far too soon..." He turned to Voldemort, "Will you be testing him tonight?" Voldemort gave a smile that more then rivaled that of Orochimaru's, "Yes, nothing serious. Yet. Then we'll see if you're worth it." The grey haired boy gave no sign that he was shocked at this disrespect. Orochimaru gave the tiniest of scowls.

"Very well then."

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Lee yawned and opened his eyes as he was engulfed with the first morning rays. He rolled over and inhaled the deep, earthy smell of grass. He always like sleeping on the grass...

He rolled over and sat upright in shock. _Grass?!_ But he fell asleep in the dorm room last night! And yet here he was, out near the front steps of Hogwarts. How did he get here? In his pajamas too! "Didn't know you sleepwalked Lee." Lee whirled around and saw Kankuro and Shino walk down the steps side by side.

"I-I don't. Usually." Lee stammered, confused. He stood up shakily, blushing slightly as he stood before two fully dressed ninja in his green turtle patterned pajamas. "You better go get changed," Shino said in his usual monotonous voice. Lee nodded and moved towards the castle doors. He had accepted Shino's leadership pretty much without question. Even though the other Leaf Ninja was a year younger then himself. Kankuro, on the other hand, hadn't. But then again, he didn't really have a reason to. The Sand nin was older, and of higher rank. Not to mention he was from a completely different village all together.

Just when Lee closed the heavy wooden doors, he remembered something. Turning quickly, he opened the doors again. Letting out a groan of dismay, he realized he had missed the sunrise.

_I have failed in my promise Gai-sensei! When I am dressed, I will do 900 laps around the lake and 3000 pushups! Just like I promised you Gai-sensei! I will not fail again!_

They had been there a month already, and the entire time Lee trained vigorously whenever he wasn't patrolling the parameters, attending classes, doing homework, or teaching Hermione his native language. Lee smiled fondly as he thought about the enthusiastic bushy haired girl who drank in knowledge the same way others drank water. It had been two weeks since they started, and already she was somewhat fluent. She was having a little difficulty in the writing however and it frustrated her. To which Lee had cheerfully told her that it was merely an obstacle that needed to be jumped. Then he had launched into a fiery speech about how one needed obstacles to improve.

He arrived at the portrait of the Fat Lady (Lee wondered what her actual name was) and gave the password. Upon being granted access, Lee hoped that his roommates were still asleep. They were, after all it was still very early. Heading quickly to his trunk, he pulled out his usual training outfit. The green beast was fully dressed forty seconds upon entering. After checking to make sure his robes were neatly folded on his bed, he left to do his laps and pushups. Lee still wondered what he was doing outside, but pushed it out of his mind. Stranger had happened.

Despite being quite friendly with both of them, Lee enjoyed training on his own. Though, the last two days he trained with Kankuro. The first time the Puppet Master received a huge bruise and a broken jaw, and Lee earned himself a long gash down his leg. Both injuries required them to go to the Hospital wing (Lee suspected that this wouldn't be their final trip here). Surprisingly, the Medic hadn't asked any questions.

Now he had pushups to do.

_1532... 1533... 1534..._

So far, there hadn't really been any danger on this mission. There was the politics that had nothing to to with them. This horrible Umbridge women was probably the worst threat to Harry Potter. Seeing as what her detentions were like.

_1555... 1556... 1557..._

Lee grimaced. It had been early in the morning when he was going out for training when that women caught him. She had put him in detention for not wearing the school uniform. Lee was no stranger to punishments, in fact he received them often from his beloved Gai-sensei. But none of them had involved drawing his own blood to use as ink for lines. He had decided to do what Kankuro had done and wrote his lines in Japanese, a language that Umbridge did not understand. Kankuro had sniggered when he told Lee what he had written. And it hadn't been _I will obey the rules and regulations _like it was suppose to be. Lee of course hadn't written anything near as vulgar, but he wrote using Kanji nonetheless.

_1670... 1671... 1672... 1673..._

Shino had yet to get detention. Not that Umbridge hadn't tried. She really had something against them. There hadn't been a night since he got his first detention that Kankuro _hadn't_ had detention. The sand nin had decided to show Umbridge the full force of his attitude, and as a result, he had a deep scar in the back of his hand that probably will never go away.

_1887... 1888... 1889... 1890..._

Now that women was... what was it? High Inquisitor? Yes, that was it. According to the newspaper a couple weeks ago, this gave her authority to inspect the other teachers. This also gave her permission to poke around more then was comfortable. Which included a close inspection of the foreign students. Thankfully the three of them passed. None of the three of them were stupid or they wouldn't have become ninja in the first place. Though Lee wondered how much longer Anko will last. After all, she just barely managed to pass the first one.

_1921... 1922... 1923... 1924..._

Lee had yet to make friends with Harry Potter. The older boy seemed to have quite a temper. Lee had witnessed him lose it three times now. It hadn't take long for Lee to figure out why.

_2544... 2545...2546..._

There were rumors. Of course there was, there were always rumors. But by listening to enough of these, the three of them had managed to piece together a story: Last year, during the Triwizard tournament, Harry Potter had entered the final challenge fine, but came back clutching a dead body. He had told everyone that "Voldemort" (Known as you-know-who to everyone) had come back to life. From the tone of disbelief from the those who told the story, Lee summarized that very few of them believed the Potter boy. People coming back to life isn't completely unheard of, but it required an incredible amount of power. A least in the Ninja world. But in these lands, the very idea was unthinkable.

_2630... 2631..._

Shino was every bit as quiet as he was when they first arrived. Despite the fact that he and Kankuro seemed to spend a lot of time together, they barely spoke to each other unless it was extremely important. You would think that after a month they would converse more then they do. Surprisingly, or perhaps not surprisingly, Lee didn't know, but it seemed as though the main reason the two of them don't talk was because Shino didn't respond when Kankuro spoke. The Puppet Master did try to start conversations, but gave up when all he got for his efforts were monotonous responses to his efforts.

_2997_..._2998... 2999... 3000_

Jumping up, he flexed his burning muscles, enjoying the feeling.

_There Gai-sensei! I will not forget again!_

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_Two weeks earlier_

Anko entered her office sighing. Never in her life has she been surrounded by so many brats. Especially the out-of-shape kind. It was a good thing she was being paid extremely well for this, because she kinda had her work cut out for her.

Even these wizards' so-called "Athletes" could be outdone by the clumsiest genin. She had given these "Quidditch" players a drill that was usually given to academy students. Some _barely_ managed. In her first week she had sent two students to the Hospital wing. And that was from exhaustion. This week three more had to go, due to small scratches and a few bumps (Four inch gashes and concussions).

The Purple haired kunoichi noticed a gaudy pink piece of paper sitting on her desk and read it with a vague look of disgust on her face. Anko hated the color pink, it was just so... pink.

According to the slip, she was going to have her lessons evaluated the following day. Sighing again, she stuffed it roughly into her pocket. The Leaf kunoichi wasn't the least bit concerned. Things will happen how they happen.

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_The following day_

Anko grinned at the outraged look on the stumpy women's face as they regarded each other for the first time.

"Well, nice to meet cha," Anko said cheerfully. They were standing in the center of her room classroom five minutes before class was about to start. Gryffindor and Ravenclaw fourth years. This was the class that spunky Ginny Weasley was in. Anko enjoyed tormenting her. Mostly because she showed the most promise out of all her peers. And she had even dared to stand up to the kunoichi too, which impressed her no end. So, as a reward for independent behavior, the Snake nin bullied the girl whenever she got the chance.

"Yes... you as well." It was pretty clear as to what Umbridge thought of her. Her face was so stony you could probably shatter a katana against it. Anko privately thought that Jiraiya's toads were far better looking then this women was.

"So... Dumbledore saw fit to add another class to the student schedule." Umbridge said, flicking through her notes, "And it seems to me that our Minister was somewhat forced into agreeing to this decision." Anko waited with more patience than the short women deserved. "Well, we'll just have to see if your as qualified for this position." Anko gave a spooky smile. "I'm sure I will be."

Umbridge was forced to wait in the presence of a slightly deranged (though she didn't really know it) shinobi. She stood stiffly holding her clipboard, and was pretending to write something. Anko leaned casually against the wall and picked dirt out from under nails with a kunai.

A few tense (for Umbridge) minutes later, there were the sound of many footsteps cautiously approaching. Those students knew that the quality of their day usually depended on what kind of mood their crazy Gym teacher was in. Needless to say, Anko rather enjoyed this power. The shinobi back home weren't this terrified of her. It was probably because these children were a lot more helpless, and it was their misfortune to live in the same castle as her.

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_That same day_

Ginny had a plan.

Being a strong girl, she didn't like being bossed around so rudely. And she was the sister of Fred and George Weasley! _They_ didn't take this crap from any teacher, so why should she? She mentally went through her inventory of supplies. A fanged frisbee, four dungbombs, and one of her brothers firecrackers. Lets see if she can put those to any use.

All forty students opened walked through the door and were surprised to find that Umbridge was standing next to their gym teacher with a stiff look on her face. Ginny realized that the "High Inquisitor" must be analyzing her Mortal Enemy. The Weasley suddenly realized that there was a way to get rid of this terror. And the whole school will consider her a hero if she did.

"Good morning class," her Mortal Enemy said sweetly, "Did you all sleep well?" She paused a moment as the class gave her rigid nods. Ginny played along, if her plan went well, her Mortal Enemy won't have much to smile about for the next couple of days. But who did she think she was? Inspiring more fear in her students better then Snape could ever have done. What was creepy was that Ginny had seen her Mortal Enemy flirty with the pasty faced, greasy haired, potions teacher. Which seriously made the Weasley question that women's taste.

"Well, good. Because if you hadn't, you're seriously going to wish you had. And Weasley, you might want to consider _combing_ your hair before you start classes." With a wicked grin, she made them start with pushups. By the time the class had reached seventy, most of them had collapsed. Ginny hadn't though. Determained not to let her Mortal Enemy sense any weakness, she continued long after the others had collapsed. Her arms were burning like they were on fire by the time she reached a hundred. It was only be sheer force of will that Ginny was able to reach that number. Finally, her Mortal Enemy called a halt to begin the next part of the lesson.

Ginny hauled herself off the floor and began to work on her kicks. Again, she was the last one to finish, and again two of her limbs were on fire. But all this was worth it if she can set her plan in motion.

Umbridge stood in the corner and took notes. It occured to Ginny that her own physical fitness might be a good mark on that report. No matter, she was only one.

Finally, they had to do laps.

_Excellent_

Ginny knew that this was the time to set her plan in motion. On either side of the large room there was equipment used for various activites, a perfect place to hide a dungbomb, or firecracker. Before class had started, the Weasley had requested help from her fellow students, she would not be able to do this much without their help. She did not explain the whole plan however, just the part that they had to do.

By standing out as she did, it made sure that her Mortal Enemy's attention was more on her then the rest of the class. Four of which had the dungbombs, and one of them the firecracker. The frisbee was still in her bag, there was no way of sticking that in her, or anyone's pocket.

Ginny forced her protesting legs to sprint faster then anyone in the room. The rest of the class (without much effort) slowed down a lot so that she was more noticable. While her Mortal Enemy's brown eyes were on her. The two Ravenclaws and three Gryffindors who were assigned to hold the bombs and firecracker gently deposited them into their positions. They will go off when Ginny wanted them to go off.

Finally, their teacher called a halt to the running and had them assembled in front of her. Ginny made sure that she was in the back row, so that she'll be able to use her wand (which she had hidden up her sleeve).

"That was good. For a bunch of preschoolers." Her Mortal Enemy strode up and down the rows. When she was nearing the center, Ginny prepared to do her spell. "Honestly, I have met five year olds that could do better then you maggot infested sacks of meat." She was standing directly on top of the imaginary X.

Ginny instantly muttered the spell under her breath. Then all hell broke loose.

The bombs blew up, showering the class with putrid... bits. The firecracker also went off, causing fantastic shapes to fill the air. And of course, all of this caused the students to "panic". Ginny had told them to scream and run around as loud as possible. Needless to say, they delivered.

They ran around shrieking at the top of their lungs. Several of them bumbed into their gym teacher, none of them knocked her over. So Ginny ran at her from behind and with the help of three others they managed to flatten her. While they were squirming around on the ground, Ginny planted the reason that this entire event happened in the first place.

Her Mortal Enemy stood up. Effortlessly knocking aside the students piled on top of her. Ginny was astonished at the sheer strenght the women had. It was as though they weighed nothing.

"STOP!"

Instantly, everyone stopped.

"Back into line." Her Mortal Enemy's voice was low and deadly. No one, not even Ginny, dared to disobey her.

"Who did this?" She demanded, waving her hand at the now ruined gym equipment. The forty of them stood so still, it almost seemed as though the room was full of foul smelling statues.

"Well?"

Still no answer.

"Class is dismissed."

Not one of them could believe their luck. So they all hurried to the door, tripping over themselves as they did so.

"Not you Weasley." Ginny stopped and slowly made her way to stand in front of her purple haired Mortal Enemy. The other students gave her sympathetic looks, but not one of them were brave enough to take the heat with her. No matter, it wasn't as though she needed someone to stand with her.

The two of them (Umbridge had left, she was also knocked over by students. She was unlucky enough though that the students piled on top of her were dung covered) waited until everyone had exited the room.

"So, you thought it would be funny to cover my students in shit, and knock me over?" The Teacher asked casually. Ginny gave her Mortal Enemy her best innocent look she had. Her eyes widened in astonishment, and her head cocked to the side. This move had never failed her.

"Why do you think that I have anything to do with this?" She asked, her voice was level and curious. Ginny had learned a lot from her older brothers.

"A gut feeling." Her Mortal Enemy grunted, "And this means detention. Congratulations, you get my first one this year." Ginny stiffened and glared at the older women, "You can't give me detention over a gut feeling!"

"Watch me."

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_Kankuro's first detention_

The Puppet Master entered the room and stopped, unable to stop the look of pure disguest cross his face. Sure he was heavily trained in the area of hardening his emotions, but even a seasoned shinobi like Baki-sensei wouldn't have been prepared for _this_.

It was... _pink_. The walls, the floor... there was white too, but never had he ever seen the color so degraded. And if the colors weren't bad enough, there were the most hideous plates sitting on shelves that Kankuro could only stare in shock.

"Sabaku Kankuro." Kankuro turned his attention to the stumpy women sitting at her desk. The Puppet Master could honestly say that he hadn't noticed her there, she was perfectly disguised to blend in with this room's background.

"_Yeah I'm here you ugly hag,_" Kankuro said blandly, "_Though I'd rather be in a jungle picking fleas off a fucking rabid monkey._"

Umbridge stared at him.

"Mr. Sabaku..." She said slowly. Kankuro merely stared at her without expression. "How dare you... Use that disguesting language with me!" She stood up, her face was steadily growing red. "I will not tolerate that! Along with 'I will obey rules and regulations' you will also write 'I will speak English, which is a more dignified tongue, at all times'. Do you understand me?!" It took the Sand nin a second to realize that the witch hadn't really understood a word he just said.

He smirked at her. "Of course _old hag_." Laughing silently, he walked over to the desk that Umbridge was pointing to. "This will be you detention. You will write the lines I have just assigned to you." Kankuro sighed and lowered his puppets to the ground with a thud. Sitting down, he picked up the pen, and noticed something wrong right away. "Your pen, it doesn't have any ink," He remarked, inspecting it closely. The Toad Women gave a smile that almost measured up to his father's whenever he was torturing someone.

Lowering the pen down onto the paper, he suddenly considered something. This women didn't understand a word of Japanese (which by the way, was _way_ more dignifed than this _English_ tongue) so it was pretty obvious that she probably couldn't read kanji either.

Kankuro wrote out his first line in blood red ink. When he was finished, he felt the back of his hand tingle. Looking down with surprise, he saw what he had written on the paper had suddenly appeared on the back of his hand. Far from being shocked, or disguested, Kankuro was rather amused. So there was more to this detention then just writing lines. Creative, defiently creative.

He felt the Toad Women's eyes on him, so he casually wrote out his second line, then his third. Again and again, the writing appeared on the back of his hand, and again and again, it healed instantly. The thing was, the Sand nin lived in the desert, and the harsh conditions had made his skin naturally tough, he had suffered worse then these little scratches before.

So he amused himself by writing everything _except_ what he was suppose to. Why not? It wasn't as though she would be able to read it. And if she took it to someone who could, oh well.

Two hours had passed, and Kankuro was still writing. Finally he stopped with a sigh. "My hand itches." He whined, "Can I stop?" Umbridge started. "Your hand... itches? Impossible." The Puppet Master supressed a grin as the Toad Women grabbed his hand. "Y-your hand." She stammered, "Impossible." The only thing he had to show for the past two hours was a vague red spot that marked his tanned skin. Kankuro would have laughed, but this didn't seem like the right time for it. "Yeah... Look... I have to go now. Y'know, homework and all." He pulled his arm away from the teacher grabbed his puppets. As he walked out the door, he thought that maybe the evening wasn't a total waste after all.

**Okay, in the next chapter, you'll find out what Ginny put on Anko, and the detention too if your lucky. And you might even find out what exactly Lee did that night. I know I said I wasn't going to use Orochimaru, but I realized, who else can create a device like that? And I have read some fanfics that say that the two of them (Voldemort and Orochimaru) get along. I highly doubt that. After all, they're two psychopaths. Power-hungry psychopaths. Really people, you don't have to be somewhat obsessed with serial killers to figure this out. And to clarify things, Syler is my favorite Heroes character. Go figure right?**

**Review please. **


	12. Chapter 12

**This Chapter is probably the shortest one I've written. And it has taken the longest time to update... please don't be **_**too**_** upset.**

**Declaimer: I don't own Naruto or Harry Potter.**

Chapter 12

**Break in at Gringotts: Priceless Aztac Artifact Stolen**

_Last night Gringotts, the esteemed wizarding bank, was broken into and an item of great value was stolen out of a high security vault. The vault in question belonged to one Julius Edgecombe, a famous collector of Aztec treasures. _

Shino scanned front page without expression. He was reading the Wizarding newspaper like he always did in the morning. A couple lines caught his attention.

_- "There was no sign of break in," A baffled investigator remarked, "I don't know how any one person can get in and out undetected." _

_- "Quetzalcoatl can be roughly translated as "plumed serpent" and symbolized many things, two of which are death and resurrection," said Edgecombe when questioned on the stolen item._

The bug nin wasn't completely sure whether this break-in had anything to do with them and their mission. But it spiked his interest nontheless. He knew from his research that stealing something from Gringotts was practically impossible. It would take someone (or someones) of great cunning and ability to enter and exit without detection. While these wizards lack physical ability, they made up for it by being a remarkably educated society.

Shino and his two companions (Though it's possible that Lee may count as a "friend") have been there an entire month already and Shino continued to learn something astonishing about these Wizards everyday. He found History of Magic particularly interesting, though it didn't seem as though anyone else did.

The bell rang, and Shino quickly stuck the paper into his bag and walked down the hall to the his classroom. It was Tuesday and he had Defence Against the Dark Arts with the Slytherins. Which specifically meant he had to deal with Kankuro for a whole period.

Over the past few weeks, he had gotten to know the Sand nin a little better then before, though he still didn't really respond when the other tried to talk to him. Shino really didn't see a reason why he should. But on the other hand, he had openly admitted that the Puppet Master was an excellent Shinobi and a worthy opponent. Not in so many words of course.

He sat down in his seat in the back row, as always. Most of the class avoided him (there really wasn't any reason for that) so Shino sat alone at his table. Though he wished he could keep it that way because he knew that it wasn't going to last.

The door banged open, Kankuro and his passe entered nosily. The Puppet Master separated himself from the group and sat next to a suddenly stiff Shino. His little band of sheep didn't follow him, too many of them thought Shino was weird.

"Heey..." Kankuro said, plunking his books on the desk and his puppets on the floor. He spoke as though he wasn't really expecting an answer. So he was quite startled when he got one.

"Hello."

The Puppet Master was quiet for a moment before looking at the bug nin carefully. Shino kept his face forward, as though the Sand nin wasn't there. "Well... that was unusual," Kankuro remarked. Shino didn't respond. The Sand nin shrugged and leaned back and stared out the window until Umbridge entered.

"Okay class, turn to your next chapter. There will be no need to talk." Of all the classes Shino had to take, this one was the most tedious. Wasn't this _Defence_ Against the Dark Arts? The bug nin would have guessed that there would be much more involved then reading a book. Shino sighed and opened his book. He had already read the entire text, and for the last couple of lessons he meditated instead of doing the assignment.

"_This sucks, you think that we'd be doing more then reading stupid books,"_ Kankuro whispered to him in an undertone. Clearly Shino wasn't going to get around to any meditation today. He didn't respond, in hopes of discouraging further conversation. It didn't work.

"_We could be out patrolling right now."_

Shino wished that he could snap at him. Were all Sand ninja this whiny?

"Mr. Sabaku." Kankuro groaned and turned to glare at his least favorite person. Shino thanked Kami for the distraction. Though this meant another lost evening for the Puppet Master.

"Yes?" Kankuro said this in the same sweet tone he used before snapping his opponents spine during the Chunnin exams. Obviously Umbridge hadn't been there, but she knew that she was being silently mocked.

"Tell me, does my class bore you Mr. Sabaku?" Umbridge with an equally sweet voice. Shino looked at her. She was trying to goad Kankuro into saying something that will put him in detention. The bug nin nearly groaned when Kankuro responded. "Oh, no not at all _you brainwashed old hag. _Why would you think so?" The last part was said with much sarcasm.

"Detention!" Umbridge said triumphantly, "For disrespect, be in my office at five tonight Mr. Sabaku." Kankuro rolled his eyes but didn't seem all that daunted by the prospect of having to stay another evening with his hated enemy.

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_Earlier that Day_

Ginny crouched in the hidden corridor outside her Mortal Enemy's office. Her mission was complete and it was time to watch the fruits of her efforts.

The Weasley had learned that in order for her missions to work, she has to make them small and unnoticeable. Even then, It was incredibly difficult to get anything in. Which was why her Mortal enemy won't notice anything until _after_ she got out of the shower. She grinned wickedly, any moment now....

The door was thrown open with such a force that it snapped off its hinges. Ginny winced, but tried her best not to move. Her Mortal Enemy had already shown to have superior senses then most. When the gym teacher passed the hidden corridor Ginny managed to stifle her laughter. Her purple haired Mortal Enemy was now her _pink_ haired Mortal Enemy. And best of all, this particular dying potion won't wash off for another two days, no matter what is done with it. Ginny hoped that her Mortal Enemy will go as far as shaving her head bald. Being a sister to Fred and George Weasley instantly made her resourceful.

Deciding not to hang around, she quickly sped off down the hidden corridor and towards the Gryffindor tower.

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Shino sighed as he walked stoically to his next class.

They had been there a month now. Their Shinobi skills went virtually unused, seeing as they only ever used them for training and patrol. Even wandering around the Forbidden Forest at night had become considerably less exciting then it had been the first time. Kankuro was now deliberately picking fights with the giant spiders and the few werewolves that resided there. As interesting as Hogwarts was, the three of them were starting to become bored with the complete lack of action.

Dumbledore had said clearly that Harry Potter was in grave danger and had to be protected. Shino didn't doubt him, he heard more about Voldemort and his Deatheaters. A few times he left Hogwarts' boundaries to check out Hogsmade. He found no sign of activity there.

His thoughts were interrupted when a blond first year suddenly collided loudly with a suit of armor about ten feet ahead of him.

"SEE Oddy! I told you I'm not weak!"

"That suit of armor is completely unstable. I think that cat can knock it over if she could put her mind to it."

"Why are we still standing here you guys?! Lets go!"

A small girl with dark skin grabbed her two friends and towed them away before Filch could catch them. Shino kept walking forwards, his next class was charms, and the bell had just rung. He just walk past the place where the armor was lying in a pile when a familiar wheezing sound came to him. He continued on and ignored Filch's red and furious face as it exploded out of the moving tapestry of a few monks to the right.

"So-" Filch spluttered, pointing at the pile, "_This_ is how you decide to treat Hogwarts even though it's housing your filthy hide!" Shino stopped and looked at him with his shaded eyes. "I did not do this." And with that he started walking again, now wondering if he was going to be late for Charms.

"Disregard for school property earns a detention!" Filch exclaimed before stalking of somewhere, his skinny cat following him with her tail in the air. The bug ninja was utterly unconcerned.

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"So you managed to dye her hair. I have to say, considering things, that is very impressive."

The pretty red haired girl glared up at the tall boy who had stopped her in the hall after her final class of the day.

"Thanks." She said coldly. Kankuro understood that some of this hostility came from their first encounter on the train (Which hadn't ended well for him) and had gotten worse when he was put in Slytherin. He smirked at her. "Why so cold Weasley? It was a complement after all." She scowled but walked stiffly away. To her severe annoyance, Kankuro trailed after her and continued chatting. "What do you have against Anko anyway? Not like she does anything to you on a personal level."

"That's none of your buisness."

"Maybe you're right."

"I am right."

Just a little further on she'll have to ditch him or lead him right to the Gryffindor entrance. Of course she didn't know that Kankuro already knew where the entrance was.

"I could help you."

Ginny stopped in midstep.

"What?"

Kankuro chuckled and crossed his arms while looking at the pretty redhead with amusment. "I could help you." It was really has simple as that. Ginny turned and gave the foriegner a hard stare. A _Slytherin_ was offering a _Gryffindor_ help? This deserves a place in Hogwarts history.

"Help with what?" She asked, extremely suspicious. He laughed. "It couldn't clearer that you need help with those pranks of yours. You've succeeded, what, one time out of twenty?" Ginny let out a huff, "That's _two_ times out of twenty wiseguy! I don't need your help."

Kankuro had been bored beforehand, he didn't have Temari around to preform his sacred little brother duties to **(Little brother duties are specifically assigned by Satan)**, and needed someone to annoy. Lee wasn't around and Shino wasn't any fun. He saw the Weasley walking down the hall (or 'corridor' as they call it here). And since he couldn't really do anything useful here at Hogwarts, he might as well ally himself to a troublemaker and have fun.

Hogwarts was an interesting place to explore, but after a month it was pretty fucking boring. Kankuro would almost rather be home in Suna sitting through one of those mind-numbingly boring meetings that heads of clans were occasionally required to participate in. At least those meetings only last four or five hours. After that he was free to bicker with his sister, teach his brother the simple pleasures of life, or get chewed out by Baki for something.

It took ten minutes of serious debate between the two before they finally came to an agreement. The Author(ess) is way to lazy to type it down (and to update) so she'll just skip to the next part.

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A pair of slitted gold eyes regarded the highly detailed statue in his hands with interest.

"This is a very beautiful piece no doubt," He said in his usual smooth voice. The Snake Sannin raised the black statue so that it could be seen clearer in the candlelight. "And as my little creation proved its worth to you yet Voldemort?" The Dark Lord looked coldly at the other with dislike. "Almost, it isn't without its flaws." Orochimaru lowered the statue with a sigh, "The longer the host wears the amulet, the stronger its hold is on that persons chakra network. So the longer he has it on, the less time you have to wait to use it again. If you try to use it to soon, you'll damage the host and we'll have to go through this long process all over again." Voldemort felt cold rage flow through him, how _dare_ that womanly creature talk to him as though he were an imbecile! As though he were of a inferior intellect.

The other put the statue delicately on the stone pedestal.

"There's there matter of our deal," Orochimaru said, looking into similar red eyes with a burning intensity, "I have completed the first part, now give me the scroll." Voldemort smirked and pulled the black and white scroll from his robes, "Very well, I suppose we did have an agreement." The other walked forwards and quickly snatched it out of his hands. After a quick check, he deemed it real.

"Kabuto."

Instantly, the door to the room opened, which made Voldemort think that the boy had been listening to the entire conversation. Such impudence! He would have severely punished any of his subordinates if they dared listen to a conversation they weren't suppose to listen to.

"Take this." He gave the scroll to the young grey haired boy who took it with a polite bow and left the room. Orochimaru turned and gave the Dark Lord a mocking bow, "Well, good day my _Lord_." Cackling slightly, he left, closing the door with an arrogant slam on his way out.

Voldemort looked forward to the day when an alliance with that worthless creature was no longer necessary. _Then _he'll teach the other snake his rightful place.

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Orochimaru stood on the very top of a tall fir tree looking up at the silver moon thinking with relish of the scroll he had acquired. His ultimate goals will be were one step closer to being achieved. And every step counts. Impatients at a time like this will ruin everything.

When the time comes, he will teach Voldemort the meaning of _true _power, and his Deatheaters, the spineless scum they were, will flock behind the stronger snake. That's what happenes when you form your followers out of cowards and thugs.

He grinned. Oh yes, and the time will come.

**Heh heh... well aside from it's lateness, I hope you noticed a sudden reappearance of some peoples in my chapter lol.**

**I really can't think of any more to say... So review please! And suggestions. Seriously, my brain bursts only lasted the first ten chapters. Now it's all gone...**


	13. Hogshead

**I'm so sorry for the lateness of this chapter. I kept thinking things like this: Oh, I'll do that tomorrow. I'm too tired. I want to watch all three Naruto movies tonight, I'll do it some other time. I don't feel like it. I wrote a paragraph, that's enough for me. **

**And so on and so forth.**

**Declaimer:**

**Orochimaru: Dear Ninjitsu does not own Naruto... nor any other characters including myself.**

**Me: Teach me how to bring the dead back to life!**

**Orochimaru: No.**

**Me: Aw well, I tried.**

Hogshead

"She moaned loudly and wrapped both legs around his waist allowing him easier entry, he grinned and-"

"STOP!"

Kankuro looked up and smiled innocently at the two Leaf Shinobi, both of them were scarlet in the face. "What?" He asked, keeping up the innocent act, "I'm allowed to read out loud aren't I?" I turned his attention back to the orange book in his hand, but before he could draw the breath to continue reading, it was snatched out of his hands by a red faced Shino. The Puppet Master took personal pleasure in making the bug freak so uncomfortable.

"I cannot believe that you were allowed to bring this garbage to Hogwarts." Shino said, closing the book. Kankuro scowled, "That's not garbage! It was written by my hero, the greatest ninja of all time! Give that back." He snatched it from Shino's hands and stuck it back in his bag with a huff. "You're just not old enough to appreciate the true art of this book. And the amount of research that went into it." Standing up, the three of them headed back towards the school from the sparring grounds they were at.

"Gai-sensei says that that book is nothing more then senseless smut with no real meaning." Lee sounded slightly disturbed. "You're Gai-sensei must not get laid often." Kankuro countered, remembering the ridiculous man that stopped the fight between Gaara and Lee.

Lee started to defend his beloved sensei when the turned the corner and saw Hermione Granger talking quietly to a pair of Ravenclaws. When they left, the three of them exchanged quick looks, before hurrying to catch up to her before she entered the Great Hall.

"Hermione!" Lee called, running forwards and skidding to a halt beside her.

"Yes Lee?" She asked in a bit of a shy voice. He smiled brilliantly, "I heard you talking to those Ravenclaws, and I think that the three of us would be very interested in it." Hermione frowned, "The three of you..." She turned and spotted Shino and Kankuro standing not far away. "Yes, the three of us. Where did you say you were going to meet up?" Hermione sighed, "Hogshead, it's a pub on the outskirts of Hogsmade, it's not hard to find-" She was cut off when an irritated looking Pink-haired Gym teacher stalked past them. Anko stopped and whirled around when she heard Kankuro snigger.

"You see something funny Sabaku?" She snarled, glaring at the grinning Puppet Master. "Nope," Kankuro said mockingly, "Nothing funny at all." As Anko stormed into the Great Hall, Lee thought regretfully of his own beautiful cherry blossom he left back home. He wondered for the thousandth time how she was doing.

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_Konoha_

Sakura sighed with frustration as she studied the complicated text before her. She hadn't expected Medical training to be easy, but some parts of it was so damned hard! Suddenly she got a tickling sensation in her nose and she sneezed violently, accidently knocking over a stack of neatly piled papers.

"Oh! Someone's thinking about you." Her mentor remarked as she examined her own set of scrolls in the corner.

_Inner Sakura: Yeah! Well I'd like to give that person a piece of my mind and my fists! _

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"All in all, not the most impressive pubs I've ever seen." Kankuro said to his companions looking up at the sign with a raised eyebrow. At least that was what Lee assumed he was doing, it was hard to tell seeing as he had painted over them. Shino moved forwards and opened the ancient door. "Let's go." Lee saw Kankuro roll his eyes, but he followed without any smart comment. They quickly realized that they were among the last ones there. About twenty other students sat on chairs staring expectantly at a flustered looking Hermione. Though their eyes kept flickering back to Harry, who sat in his chair with an air of slight moodiness.

"-That it'd be good if people who wanted to study Defence Against the Dark Arts-" She was saying, "-Well, I thought it would be good if we, well, took matters into our own hands." Kankuro, Shino and Lee stood in the shadows at the back of the group, a few people glanced at them, but turned their attention back on the speaker. Ron Weasley gave the three of them a deeply mistrustful look.

"And by that I mean learning how to defend ourselves properly, not just in theory but doing real spells-"

"You want to pass your Defence against the Dark Arts OWL too, though, I bet?" A boy interrupted from somewhere in the middle. Kankuro personally thought that Hermione Granger's speech could use a little work. But it seemed to be working fine on these surprisingly ignorant wizards.

"Of course I do," She said, "But more then that, I want to be properly trained in defence because... because..." After a deep breath she continued, "Because Lord Voldemort is back." Kankuro watched the reaction to this with amusement. People gasped in horror, fell over, or even screamed in one case.

"Well... that's the plan anyway," Said Hermione, "If you want to join us, we need to decide how we're going to-" She was interrupted again by another boy, "Where's the proof that You-Know-Who is back?" He asked aggressively.

"Well, Dumbledore believes it-"

"You mean Dumbledore believes-"

"And how does Dumbledore expect anyone to believe that story?" All eyes turned to the back, "I may not know much about your country, but I do know that the dead cannot come back to life, and Dumbledore does not even make this clear on how this is even a possibility." Kankuro watched with interest as Hermione, Ron and Harry glance at each other, unable to come up with an answer to Shino's observation.

"Dumbledore believes it." Hermione said firmly, "And if we can't trust Dumbledore, we can't trust anyone."

"Or maybe the tabloids were right and this is nothing more then an attention-getting scheme," Kankuro remarked, looking closely at Harry. The boy looked like he would blow at any moment.

"Attention-getting scheme?" Harry asked quietly, everyone fell silent at once. "_Attention-getting scheme?_"

_Any minute now..._

"I would never say that Voldemort was back if it wasn't true. I would be one of the last people in the world who wanted him back. And you say I said it to get _attention?_" Kankuro shrugged, "It happens." Harry took a deep breath, "He killed by parents! How would you feel if your parents were killed by some evil bastard!?" Kankuro laughed out loud at the irony of it. "I do actually. And you'll never hear me whining about it." He was pleased with the stunned look on Harry's face.

There was a silence where Harry and Kankuro stared at each other, before someone tentivly spoke out. "So, _do_ you have any proof that You-Know-Who is back?" Harry took a deep breath. "Why would I say that Voldemort is back?" He asked with a dirty look at Kankuro, "Because I saw him. But Dumbledore told the whole school what happened last year, and if you didn't believe him, I don't have _proof_, but if you won't believe me, and I'm not wasting an afternoon trying to convince anyone."

_He is certainly much better at speeches then that Hermione girl._

"All Dumbledore told us last year was that Cedric Diggory got killed by You-Know-Who and that you brought Diggory's body back to Hogwarts. He didn't give us details, he didn't tell us exactly how Diggory got murdered, I think we'd all like to know-" The sneering voice was quickly interrupted, "If you've come to hear exactly what it looks like when Voldemort murders someone, I can't help you," Harry said, glaring down at the boy who had spoken. "I don't want to talk about Cedric Diggory alright? So if that's what you're here for, you might as well clear out."

In a way Kankuro both pitied and envied these wizards. From the evidence he and his two companions had managed to gather, Voldemort's preferred way to kill someone was to take their life instantly using a deadly spell. The same went with torture. Kankuro could think of many shinobi who would have preferred that quick and painless death to the bloody ones they got. As far as Kankuro was concerned, killing someone with a single spell was a coward's way to kill. And Harry Potter made it sound like there weren't worse ways to go.

_And there's more to torture then physical pain._

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Wizards were very ignorant in matters such as death and pain. Many shinobi spent a lifetime perfecting both arts. Lee was not an innocent, whatever he acted like, and he'd certainly killed before, and experienced pain that could have driven him mad if it wasn't for Gai-sensei. The physical pain had been horrible, but the confusion and hopelessness that had come afterwards had been far, far worse. Everything that he had built up to that moment had been literally crushed by Gaara's cruel sand. His dreams of becoming a splendid shinobi using only taijutsu were momentarily dashed. He would have been lost if it hadn't been for his Sensei's faith in him, and in his faith in his Sensei.

Lee genuinely felt sorry for Harry, his own parents also died when he was very young. Though their deaths were the result of disease.

The ever intelligent Hermione Granger was speaking again, "So... So... Like I was saying... if you want to learn some defence, then we need to work out how we're going to do it, how often we're going to meet and where we're going to-"

"Is it true," interrupted a girl with plaited hair who had been watching Harry, "That you can produce a Patronus?" Lee now felt very sorry for Hermione. It can't be easy have your speech continuously interrupted. But her patience was admirable, she took the interruption with good grace.

"Yeah."

"A Corporeal Patronus?"

"Er- You don't know Madam Bones, do you?"

"She's my auntie, I'm Susan Bones. She told me about your hearing. So- is it really true? You can make a stag Patronus?"

Lee leaned close to Shino.

"Patronus?" He whispered curiously.

"A guardian of a sort that acts as a shield between the caster and the Dementor."

Kankuro leaned in too, "How does it work?"

"Dementors feed on feeling of hope, happiness and the desire to survive, a Patronus is a pure, positive form and can't feel any of the things that make humans so vulnerable to the Dementors presence. The Dementor can't hurt is and is repelled."

"And what is so impressive about that?"

"It's an advanced spell that most wizards still in school can't do."

The crowd became talking about Harry's accomplishments, the three quieted down to listen.

"And did you kill a basilisk with that sword in Dumbledore's office?" Demanded another boy whose name Lee was sure was Terry Boot, "That's what one of the portraits on the wall told me when I was in there last year..."

"Er- yeah I did." Said Harry. Lee had read is fair share of books, and knew what a Basilisk was. So he was properly impressed in this revelation. He wasn't the only one; People exchanged wide-eyed looks of awe, and one even whistled in admiration.

"And in our first year," Said Neville Longbottem, "He saved the philological Stone-"

"Philosopher's!"

"Yes, that- from You-Know-Who himself!"

"And not to mention-" Harry's eyes immediately flew towards a pretty girl in the front row. Lee had noticed that Harry had been trying his hardest not to look at that particular place. "All the tasks he had to get through in the Triwizard Tournament last year- getting past dragons and merpeople and Acromantula and things..."

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**((I'm not going to rewrite the entire scene, I'm gonna skip a little))**

"We think that the reason Umbridge doesn't want us trained in Defence Against the Dark Arts," Hermione was saying, "Is that she's got some... mad idea that Dumbledore could use the students in the school as a kind of private army. She thinks he'd mobilize us against the Ministry." It sounded to Shino like the usual paranoid power-hungry politic. They never change no matter what country you're in. Everyone else, however, wore looks of stunned disbelief on their faces. That was, until Luna Lovegood, the girl that was always there when Shino turned around, spoke up. "That makes sense. After all, Cornelius Fudge has got his own private army."

"What?" Harry asked, looked astonished.

"Yes, he's gotten and army of Heliopaths." Shino hadn't even bothered reacting to Luna's previous comment. He knew her well enough to know that she was willing to believe in anything, even if there was no proof. Hermione Granger didn't seem to approve of her any more then he did, "No he hasn't." She snapped.

"Yes he has."

"What are Heliopaths?" Neville asked blankly.

"They're spirits of fire," Luna said, "Great tall flaming creatures that gallop across the ground burning everything in front of-"

"They don't exist Neville," Hermione said harshly

"Oh, yes they do!"

They argued a little more before they were intruppted with a _"Hem hem." _Ginny Weasly had done such a good imitation that many students looked about in alarm. "Weren't we trying to decide how often we're going to meet and have defence lessons?"

After a few suggestions, it became clear that they would have to locate a place for their meetings.

Shino sensed that it was almost time to go, as Hermione was rummaging through her well stocked bag before withdrawing holding a quill and some parchment.

"I-I think everybody should write their names down, just so we know who waas here. But I also think," She drew a deep breath. Her hesitation caught Shino attention and he gave a quick look at his two campanions, and saw that they noticed it too.

"-That we all ought to agree not to shout about what we're doing. So if you sign, you're agreeing not to tell Umbridge or anybody else what we're up to." One of the Weasly twins signed immedietly. But Kankuro, Lee and Shino quietly left before the parchment was handed their direction.

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"What did you mean?"

Kankuro paused, Lee had just run off and the two of them were just about to part ways.

"What do you mean 'What did I mean?'" Shino was silent for a moment his gaze, which Kankuro couldn't see, wasn't focused on the Sand-nin.

"What did you mean when you said that you knew what it felt like to have your parents killed by evil bastards?" Shino didn't even know why he was curious at all, it wasn't like it was any of his business. But out of all that Shino had learned in Hogshead, this one stuck in his head the most. This one he most wanted an answer for.

Kankuro looked uncomfortable, he reached up and ran his large hand through his untidy brown hair, "Listen... I just said that to... uh... make the Potter guy... Okay, I'm not sure why I said that, I guess I wanted to see a reaction, okay?" He scowled, "What is it to you anyway?"

"You didn't answer my question."

He sighed and leaned against a tree, placing his puppets down against his leg, "My mother died when I was two years old, when Gaara was born." he grimaced, "It was on of my father's more selfish acts. What he did to Gaara was unforgivable, and he didn't even do it right."

"..."

"Temari and I were actually looking forward to having a new sibling to play with. What had happened we hadn't realized until we were older. The Sand Village is a harsh place, and only the strong can survive." Kankuro shrugged, running his hand through his hair again, "And as for my father... well, I guess he got what he deserved in the end. I don't hate Orochimaru because he killed my father, I hate him because he could have destroyed our own village with the invasion."

Shino had to ask, "As his son... shouldn't you have noticed that someone else had taken his guise?" The Puppet Master snorted, "What makes you think Temari and I haven't been asked that question before? As far as we were concerned, the Kazekage didn't act any different thing usual. Except he was far less interested in us then usual. Which hardly surprised us." He gave Shino a one-eyed squint, "And now you answer my question: What is it to you anyway?"

Shino, who had been staring intently at Kankuro's painted face, averted his gaze. He seriously considered the question. What _was_ it to him anyway?

"Nothing," he answered, "I was merely curious."

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"What are you thinking Albus?" Dumbledore looked up at McGonagall who was standing in front of his desk. He smiled at her serenly, "I'm thinking of many things Minerva. First and foremost, at the moment anyway, is the break-in at Gringotts." McGonagall raised an eyebrow **((Funny how everyone is able to do that))** "What of it?" Dumbledore straightened and motioned for McGonagall to sit down, which she did.

"As you well know, to break into Gringotts, one must have uncommon skill and knowledge. Now, whoever broke in not only stole something, but got out undetected." She frowned, "Are you thinking of _him_ Albus?" He tapped his chin thoughtfully, "Yes I have, but something about this robbery feels a bit like... an experiment." Dumbledore looked at her fully, "I think it might be possible that Voldemort," McGonagall twitched slightly at the name, "May have Shinobi in their employ, I cannot think of another society that has the skill."

"Then maybe we should send for some real Shinobi."

"Shino, Lee, and Kankuro are real Shinobi. And let's not forget Anko." McGonagall scowled slightly at the mention of the brash Gym teacher, "Shino, Lee and Kankuro are just children! If V-Voldemort does have Shinobi in his employ, I'll wager they won't as young."

"Actually, in their society, Kankuro has all the rights of an adult."

"What of the other two?" Dumbledore sighed, "Shino is thirteen and Lee is fourteen, neither will be considered adults until they become Chunin or they become of age." McGonagall seemed to swelling with indignation. "What kind of savages are they? That society? Throwing young children into such danger! Those three should be home with their families, not far away putting their lives on the line for someone they don't even know!" She took a calming breath, "Do they even have a choice?" Dumbledore knew what she was asking about, "I doubt Kankuro or Shino did, they are from renown Ninja Clans. Some families start their offspring's training at the age of five. I'm not sure if it ever occurs to the young ones to choose otherwise."

"Barbarians..." She hissed before they fell into a contemplative silence.

**Again, sorry for the long wait. Hopefully you can find it in your hate-filled hearts to forgive me :P**

**Oh, and I really do think that Kankuro would be one of Jiraiya's fanboys XDD**


	14. Chapter 14

**I am so sorry for this shockingly short chapter. I had actually written this months ago, I only now decided to just post what I have and hope that something better comes up while writing the next chapter.**

**But if you need someone to blame.... blame whatever reviewers have the word "Wolf" or equivalent in their usernames...**

Chapter 14

Bypassing the security had been difficult, but he had gotten through none-the-less.

The fickle wind blew serenely around him, the half moon smiling down on the sound ninja. The moon knew that someone was going to die today, and she was pleased. So was he, Lord Orochimaru had chosen him for this mission specifically, there was no greater honor on earth then to serve him. Lord Orochimaru, with his exotic and dangerous beauty... His power and dark promises... And his Lord kept his promises too. The power that the sound ninja had been told he would get was given to him. Proof of this lay on his neck.

He flickered through the trees making less sound then a falling leaf. He will not fail his beloved Lord. No, not ever. Even if succeeding means his own death, he was willing to pay that price.

The castle loomed ahead, an ancient being still in its glory days.

Stopping at the edge of the forest, he crouched down and closed his eyes.

_There!_

Small little insects threaded through the forest towards him. These insects were clearly the beetles of the Aburame clan Lord Orochimaru had told him about. Still crouching, his fingers weaved an elegant and long array of hand signs. When he was done, the bracelet his was holding glowed briefly then dimmed. He grinned and ran forward at speed, easily covering the remaining distance between the tree line and the castle.

Kabuto watched him go.

What an amusing pawn. And young too, no older the fourteen. He had been an excellent find by Lord Orochimaru.

He was well aware of the Aburame's beetles scattering through the forest, he didn't plan on confronting the Aburame. In fact, he couldn't afford get detected at all. He had his own job to do.

It was dangerous for him to be here, in more ways then one. If he was found out, then they will automatically link him to Lord Orochimaru, and then Konoha might decide to send stronger ninja. Suna too. That would ruin the plan. He had to though, as one of the few people that Lord Orochimaru trusted (at least partially) only he could perform this task. It was daunting, it had actually been a while since Kabuto had to do actual missions. Mostly he stayed by Lord Orochimaru's side, where he undoubtedly belonged. Thievery was below a man of his position.

But orders were orders. And who was he but a man who spent his entire life being used? At least Orochimaru didn't treat him like a total idiot.

He had to move, the beetles were getting closer.

Being quite competent in the flash step, in a second, he was right up against the wall of the castle. On the opposite side the other had gone in. What he was looking for could be anywhere. But if he had to guess, it would be in the Headmasters quarters. Luckily, Kabuto had a well enough knowledge of the hallways and rooms. It'll take uncommon skill to duck and weave his way through. Naturally.

Tonight didn't seem different then any other night. But there was something about it that made Shino uneasy. His beetles hadn't detected anything, and he couldn't sense anything, but there was defiantly something there. He had already sent a few beetles to Kankuro and Lee to wake them up. He could be overreacting, but it was far better to be safe then sorry.

Skipping forwards, he stopped at the exact spot that the young sound ninja had stopped a minute before. Looking up at the castle, he quickly planned his next course of action.

_Kankuro was five years old again. He and his six year old sister were climbing towards a cave they had found yesterday, but they hadn't explored it yet because Temari said that they weren't prepared. And it was getting dark at the time._

_Now they were prepared, with a flashlight and some snacks, just in case._

_Temari got to go first._

"'_Cause I'm older, so I have to go first." She had explained. "I promised mommy that I'd look after you."_

_And that was that._

_The cave was very small, only a small six year old and a five year old would have been able to fit, lucky them. They wiggled through on their bellies at first, then were able to crawl on their knees. Neither of them thinking of the snakes and scorpions that could be there._

_They crawled for some time until they came to a small cavern. It was big enough for both children to sit up comfortably. There would have been no way an adult could ever have gotten there. Temari smirked, "Look Kankuro! This should be our secret hideout from now on." Kankuro nodded eagerly, "Yeah! Should be tell Gaara too?" They never saw much of their baby brother, their father seemed to care a lot more about his three year old son then about his two eldest. Temari and Kankuro couldn't understand why._

_Temari shook her head, "No, just us right? Our secret?" Kankuro nodded agreeably. His big sister knew best after all. She was so smart._

_That's when Kankuro noticed something. "Temari look!" He gasped, pointing at a few small beetles that were crawling out of the tunnel they just arrived through. Temari looked down in confusion, "What? I don' see anything." The five year old pointed again, this time with a look of horror on his face. How could she not see them? They crawled out in waves now, covering his sister in a thick layer of buzzing insects. Kankuro could feel them on him too, he screamed and frantically tried to brush them off. His efforts were pointless, they kept crawling on him, inching towards his face...._

He woke up gasping.

After a few seconds, he realized that it was just a dream, and there weren't any little insects crawling all over him.

Or so he thought.

A few seconds after that, he became aware of a tickling feeling on his arms. Alarmed, he pulled back his sleeve to find about a dozen beetles skittering up and down his arms. Out of panic he slapped them, squishing half a dozen before he remembered who these insects belonged to.

_Shino?_

Shino woke him up, that could only mean one thing.

Nightmare forgotten, he leapt out of bed and got changed at an inhuman speed. Ten seconds later, he was out of the Slytherin house and sprinting down the halls.

**Okay... I'm going out of my comfort zone by MAKING UP MY OWN PLOT!!! I don't know how I'm going to stand the pressure! :P**

**Review lol **


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